Aspirations, rejections, and resetting it all...

Applying to College Admission Stories
1

From what I gather, a lot of the people on this forum are quite bright, academically focused, and whichever other term you could use to describe this community. But, and I mean no offense, I feel that a lot of people are too concerned about the future and lose touch with reality. The fact is getting accepted into college is getting progressively harder, but, of course, students like to dream big; aspirations know no limits! It’s okay to dream, but it’s like that cliche goes, the bigger they are, the harder they fall…

I wanted to go to a nice private school. I had my heart set on this school since my sophomore year and I thought I was doing a great job about keeping my grades and tests. Sure, I’m an…‘above average’ student (I really don’t like using terms like this to describe people), but I thought what really set me apart (since everyone at my school generally had the same scores I did) was my diverse extra-curricular activities. Well, I was wrong. The seventeen years of my life I spent drawing, doing various arts, film-making, sewing, tennis…all sorts of interesting things that could make me a more attractive candidate (think in terms of being a versatile, apt-to-adapt undergraduate) didn’t matter at all and the lack of ‘substance’ in my extra-curriculars prevented me from getting into my school.

Successive rejections were a real blow to the ego and I found myself close to a mental breakdown, but then I realized something…

It’s not the end of the world. Society puts a nice label on colleges and says ‘you’re it’ and ‘you’re not’, but life is far more complex than just a label and that, regardless of what people in this forum or those anywhere else say about any school, everyone has an equal chance of going to a top tier graduate school if one studies hard and never loses hope.

College is about what you do, not where you go and though I’ve seen this posted across many forums, I don’t think students take it to heart enough because they’re too busy running back and forth worrying about which private they should attend. Status doesn’t really matter all that much. A student could go to an excellent school and do nothing and then get rejected from his or her dream graduate school, having their seat given away to someone from a lower end public school (hey, we can never tell with the way admissions tend to work, right?). So, when I see all these incendiary comments like ‘this school sucks just because they’re too easy’ (and no school can be so easy that you can get a 4.0 by simply going there, so don’t think that because it’s a lie) or ‘take this school because that one is horrible’ I get irritated. Obviously those people haven’t done their research and they’re simply spreading their bias around because, hey, they’re only human. But the day you start believing those slanderous claims is the day you do yourself in, because if you have to go to that ‘horrible school’ you’ll really feel like a horrible student which is oftentimes completely false.

You make your college experience what it is. You invest as much as you want to get out of it and you can do it anywhere. Nowhere has it been written that any one person or one institution or one anything has the right to label you even though college admissions, standardized tests, and all that nonsense think that they can.

If you don’t get accepted to your dream school, it’s fine. Cry about it a little, but then peel yourself off of your bed, wash your face, and face the day, because graduate schools don’t want quitters, they want fighters and what better way to prove what kind of soldier you are than to push your way through four years of a place you never expected to end up at…and who knows, you might end up loving it. Save the money you would have spent on that 50K private school and go to the public or community college and work your way up. In the end, you have to pay for graduate school so you might as well minimize the amount of debt you have to deal with in the future.

My whole philosophy behind why Ivy leagues exist and whatnot is that those kinds of schools are excellent if you’re planning to start working immediately after college (which might have been feasible earlier on in --insert name of your country here–'s history), but when now that the qualifications have steepened and graduate school is usually required for specialized careers, maybe private school isn’t that feasible anymore (unless you happen to be very rich).

Anyway, in the end, don’t let anyone tell you who you are. What you do is what defines you, not what someone else says. So don’t believe the stranger that posts something biased about your school; do your own research and find out for yourself. But remember, rejection isn’t the end of the world like many seem to think. It’s a chance to start again.

And, after some serious thought, soul-searching, and thinking through everything I have just written, I’ve decided that I’d be much better off going to UCR than I would be if I went to NYU (again, no fear, guys! No fear!).

For those of you that read this and just shirk it off, I hope that this might at least be stuck in the back of your mind and that maybe, if this happens to you, you don’t lose faith in your future.

I wish all you high school students good luck and hope you all take control of your own futures.

P.S. Eventually, I might make edits to this post and perhaps make another one about what happens after I graduate from college…

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Thank you, you’ve genuinely touched me. I now see what my Chemistry teacher meant about colleges. I make my school life, not the school. My eyes have opened…

3

Well, I’m glad that whole thing had an effect. Just keep it in mind in case you come across some emotional difficulties when those acceptance/rejection letters come around.

Good luck!

4

I’d think that it depends on your concentration and/or desired profession. For example, a friend of mine enrolled in a PhD program in philosophy at Princeton almost immediately after he graduated from undergrad.

On the other hand, most MBA programs require 3 years of working experience. I have not done enough research to determine whether jobs held whilst one is in school can count towards that 3 year requirement, but my guess is that if they were to be considered, the job(s) would have to be somewhat related to the business profession.

That being said, it should be noted that graduate programs are far from homogeneous in that they are comprised of students from top colleges and them alone.

My teacher once said that the biggest difference between attending a school like Princeton and another, ‘lesser’ institution is that at Princeton, one would only have to be in the top 50% of one’s graduating class to be recruited, while one would have to be in the top 10% or even top 5% to be looked at if one attended schools that are not comparable to Princeton.

In many ways, that statement is extremely cogent. Pure logic tells me that since the number of students attending schools that are below Princeton in ‘caliber’ is much larger than the number of kids enrolled in the Ivy League and its equivalents (simply because the Ivy League and its equivalents make up such a small percentages of all the colleges available), a student at an institution like UCI or UCR would have to work that much harder to distance himself or herself from the rest of the pack. Being in the top 5% is never easy at any place–you’re right, there are very few schools where one can achieve a 4.0 just by showing up. However, being in the top 50% in Princeton isn’t exactly a cakewalk either.

If the conception that colleges consider some extracirriculars(not prestigous awards) more spectacular than others, then I’d be the first to oppose it.

However, I disagree with your line of thinking that the activities you devoted yourself to didn’t matter if you didn’t have an acceptance letter to show for it. That you took the time to pursue them should be a reward in its own right.

An interesting way to use that adage. I would disagree though; the scope and degree of unlikelihood of a dream should not act as a deterrent.

Otherwise, why dream at all?

5

Yes, that’s true. Graduate programs are diverse and so even if one doesn’t get into his or her competitive school, it’s not as if the future no longer exists. Sure, said student’d have to compensate for going to a lesser school by working ridiculously hard and being in the top 5-10-whatever% required for their ideal graduate school. Of course, nothing comes free.

In regards to extra-curriculars, I’m not sure how it’s effected others, but during college admissions my extra-curriculars weren’t even looked at during the decision and I had this told to me by an application representative that looked at my application upon my mom’s request and told me what I had done ‘wrong’. It’s different for everyone, of course, but the whole piece is just one instance if disappointment; it’s not universal.

Also the ‘it didn’t matter at all’ did not refer to me, but to the colleges. I’d done all those activities prior to any thought on college and I continue to do them regardless of any acceptance letter, but I suppose it was poor wording on my part, sorry.

And I’m not advocating an existence sans aspirations simply because certain dreams are out of reach, but I am saying that if someone convinces himself that he wants to go to this-or-that school and is capable of doing so but ultimately fails by getting rejected, he tends to feel worse than if he got rejected from a school for which he really didn’t have strong feelings. But that’s a generalization, I know, and I suppose that kind of thought stems from the fact that I tend to be more emotional. In the end, though, this piece is about emotional repair and continuing with life.

6

Thank you for posting this. I’m going to show it to all of my friends who are still reeling from the fact they didn’t get into an Ivy League school. Quality is what you make of it, and I appreciate how you put that into perspective.

7

Aussie: Thanks so much for posting your thoughts, it was very beautifully written and full of great insights. As a “mom” whose daughter has just been through the whole process and will be setting off next fall, your words have such incredible wisdom. I know it is something us “oldsters” try to say all the time but it means much more coming from you. As I posted on an earlier thread when wonderful young people were getting very depressed about being waitlisted at wash u. (including my own amazingly talented daughter) urging everyone to keep their chins up and realize that in the end everyone will be FINE no matter what school they end up attending. As you said so beautifully, it is about you and what gifts/talents/work you bring to your college experience. I look forward to reading your post back here in a few years hence to see where your life’s journey has taken you…good luck and God bless you, and all of the terrific and talented young people whose stories we have read here on CC. You all WILL make this world a better place, we’ve mucked it up pretty badly but I have a lot of confidence in all of the faces of our young graduates I see…gives me cause for optimism! :slight_smile:

8

Very nicely put. Thank you! Now I’m even more confident about going to UC Riverside. :wink:

9

Thank you for this. You said a lot of stuff with a lot of meaning that I wish everyone knew.

10

Thank you.

As someone who, three years ago, did not get into the prestigious colleges I wanted to go to, I completely second this. I think about my priorities now and my priorities when I was applying for college, and I can’t quite imagine myself back then. I just wish that all of those kids who think that going to big name colleges will make or break them would read something like this, would understand this.