<p>A friend’s daughter (freshman) was blindsided by the serious effects of her faux pas with regard to the popular college game “Assassin” that her campus group was playing. The girl was one of the last players remaining, when she was approached by another player to form an alliance with her and a third player. The proposed goal was that the 3 of them would end up as co-winners. The pact required that my friend’s D “kill off” her best friend. She decided not to do that. While she understands why the girl was angry with her in the context of the game for not keeping her word, her view of the whole thing was that it’s a GAME, assassins aren’t always honest because they try to outwit people, and she was playing to win.</p>
<p>The betrayed girl took this offense very seriously. She was so upset and angry that she accused my friend’s D of having no honor, then she badmouthed her to everyone in the campus group, and even went so far as to declare that no one on campus should give my friend’s D a recommendation for a job because she lacks integrity. My friend’s D was stunned at the vehement reaction, but was even more shocked that she is now being shunned by the other girls in the group.</p>
<p>My friend’s D didn’t know that “Assassin” holds some special status among games. She saw this as no different from sending your friend back to the start in “Sorry” or stealing her cards in “Go Fish.” My friend said that several young guys at her job told her that this was indeed a pretty serious mistake her D made.</p>
<p>Also, this was not a sorority so no vows of life-long loyalty were ever taken or anything.</p>
<p>This is the first I have heard of such a game. Time for her to find a new group - one whose members have advanced emotionally beyond middle school.</p>
<p>You comparison to the games “Sorry” and “Go Fish” was appropriate. That’s how babyish this is. I can’t believe I mustered up enough energy to leave two posts on the topic.</p>
<p>How wonderful for your friend’s D as now the D knows who the mean-spirited, immature, idiotic young women are on campus and can avoid them like the plague.</p>
<p>LOL. D played this game (different name) at her college. Both times she was one of the last ones standing. She did this through all kinds of deception, lies, dirty tricks, alliances, etc. It’s all part of the game. When it was over, I think they were complimenting each other on the cleverest/meanest tricks. </p>
<p>The girl in question should just keep repeating, “It’s only a game. . .” It’s just silly to take it so seriously.</p>
<p>I am an avid Zombie vs Humans player, and we have gone out of our way to use trickery and stealth. The only time that we take offense is when someone swears or acts up when turned. If I were your D, I would probably sit out the next round of assassins, and stay away from the psycho girl.</p>
<p>Thanks to all for the replies. The main concern going forward is that this group is one the girl can’t just walk away from, and it’s not just the one girl who is angry over it. My friend’s D would like to smooth things over and wouldn’t mind apologizing in theory, but doesn’t want to give credence to the idea that honor in a game like this is tied with one’s personal honor in real life. Would apologizing be the way to go, or might that make things worse? Thoughts?</p>
<p>Since she will be part of the crowd going forward, I would apologize for the gameplay, but once emotions were settled, I would initiate a “theoretical” conversation about games versus reality. Maybe while watching an episode of Big Brother, Survivor, Amazing Race, etc.
If she is willing to take this fight going a little longer (and there was a past friendship) I would put out an argument that her past actions prove that she is honorable, with the final result being an apology for hurting the girls’ feelings rather than for her actions.</p>
<p>Are parents really this involved with their children’s game-playing dramas? Actually, their friends children’s game-playing dramas? Wow, just wow…</p>
<p>Maybe they can just figure these things out on their own? Obviously, I am missing something here…</p>
<p>^ I think the key word here is drama. The OP (and the subject of the post) felt the situation was outside of their past experience, and asked for different viewpoints from a group of people that are outside of the situation. I think this forum is a place where there are no questions that are out of bounds in the parents forums, as long as there are people willing to answer.</p>
<p>If she can’t walk from away from a group that can’t think for itself and is willing to be led around by the nose by a bully, then I guess she should beg for forgiveness and perhaps throw in a little self-flagellation to boot. It will be a shame because they will have won and she will probably either have to become more like them or be shunned again in the future.</p>
<p>Even if this is a very small college, why can’t the girl walk away from the group? I can see wanting the bully to stop bad-mouthing her all over town, but why would she seek to re-establish a relationship with someone like this? If this is, in fact, all going on within a small living group, such as a co-op or a sorority to which she is committed for next year, it might make sense to bring in an outside grown-up (since it would appear we are dealing with kids who haven’t made that leap yet), such as the dean connected with the pan-Hellenic council, to assist with some sort of intervention. Hopefully an intervention in which the girl who is being bad-mouthed can say something on the order of “I have lost respect for you. I believe that your behavior has been hurtful and out of control, and that it’s been slanderous.” This would certainly beat apologizing up and down and losing respect for herself.</p>