Assigned to apartment with heavy weed smoker

My daughter was assigned a share a 3 bedroom apartment in a school-owned building, with 2 other random people. When she moved in yesterday, she reported that one of the apartment-mates had already moved in and the entire apartment already smelled strongly of weed. Since then, this gal has had several visitors and has lit up multiple times. (as an aside, she also seems to think that she moved in first, this is “her” apartment: she has literally filled the kitchen cabinets and the shared bathroom with her stuff – including one full cabinet of empty booze bottles, she has not touched the dirty dishes on the counters, stovetop and in the sink that were there at my daughter’s move-in, and she REMOVED the smoke detector in my daughter’s bedroom). The third apartment mate, who also moved in yesterday, does not seem particularly troubled by any of this…

My daughter has no issue with weed from a social or moral standpoint however she has multiple health issues and the between the smell and the smoke, this situation will certainly have a negative impact on her physical well-being. We drove her down an electric air cleaner and an essential oil diffuser today and she says neither seems to be helping (due to covid, we are not allowed to enter the building).

It seems clear that she should request a room change – but here’s the tricky part: while weed is legal in our state, it is absolutely forbidden on school-owned property. My daughter has no wish to get this gal in trouble (nor, as an anxious person, does she want to risk any retribution) but I don’t think the school will take her request seriously if she is not specific.

What would you do??

I would tell the school that the roommate smokes and it is a health issue for your D. She doesn’t need to specify that it’s weed over cigarettes.

Your daughter needs to move out for health & safety reasons. Removing a smoke detector alarm is enough reason to move out.

Maybe your daughter needs to insist that she needs non-smoking accommodations due to health reasons.

Your daughter needs to move out like yesterday. Didn’t she have any talks with either roommate prior even if it was a blind assignment? My son did this 3x and met each person online prior.

Just trying to figure out why there is a cupboard of “empty” alcohol bottles already. Hmmm…

Plus these girls don’t seem to be respectful with dirty dishes and taking over the place. Having many visitors is just going to lead to a covid disaster. Plus your daughter has the right on many levels to have her fire alarm in her room. This offense can get “your” daughter kicked out. Once something between them happens they will report your daughter…

I say move out as quickly as you can. She doesn’t owe anyone an answer. But she can say she didn’t know there was going to be smoking and she’s sensitive to it

Agree with the above. Second hand smoke is a known health risk, your D need say no more.

Didn’t they have to fill out a form if they smoke or are messy. Type of music etc?

Thank you, folks. Even cigarette smoking is 100% against the university rules so there may be repercussions for this gal regardless of what my daughter says. But her health need to come first - and if they cannot find a suitable match she can always come home. And for those who asked, no there was no attempt by the school to do any sort of compatibility match. Either you do a specific request for a specific person or it’s totally random. My three kids have attended 4 different universities so I know the hands-off approach of this school is unusual (not that anyone would actually fill in a survey with “I’m dirty and disgusting and drink and smoke way too much” anyway).

I have no sympathy for a kid who removes smoke detectors and invites people over, especially now, to smoke anything. That girl is endangering the health of all and is BREAKING the law.

The college is obligated to ensure her safety. It’s a school-owned building. She should report it immediately and request an immediate move for health related reasons. Personally, as the parent, if they don’t take steps right away, I’d send a strongly worded email to make clear that if they don’t take action to get her out of there, you will not hesitate hire a lawyer.

If it were just weed, I’d perhaps suggest that your daughter tries to work out a compromise (practically odor-free vaping?) but the other actions of the roommate indicate a really inconsiderate, reckless human being. If that’s the intro, what comes next?

Vaping is NOT safe and not allowed in dorms. (a good thing about covid is that most vaping supplies come from China and they are now scarce)

I’m make sure the smoke detector was reinstalled immediately. If roommate won’t do it, call maintenance. I’d then request an immediate change of room because of smoking. The smoking doesn’t have to be reported as happening in the room, just that the room smells like smoke from the clothing and ‘whatever.’ The school will figure out she’s smoking in the room.

Other kids in the room? Nope. Report it to the RA (who should be noticing this anyway)

I had a similar issue while in college. Rather than immediately going to the school, the first thing I did was talk to my roommate about my issue with him and his friends smoking in the room. He and his friends did make some effort, such as putting a towel under the door to try to minimize the smoke going in to my area, but it was not enough. It didn’t seem that we were going to be able to resolve the situation.

My next step was going to the admin that handles the room assignments. I didn’t mention the smoking weed, nor did I need to give a lot of details. If I remember correctly, I mentioned something about not getting along well and asking if there were other available rooms. She said there were 3 persons in the dorm with no roommate (likely due to their roommate leaving during during first quarter), and I could switch to any of the 3 available rooms.

I talked to all 3 of the of the students with available rooms to see who I thought I’d get along with. I mentioned my problems with the other roommate smoking when talking to the students. After hearing this, one of them showed me his bong and talked about how much he liked to smoke, so he was off the list. However, I did find another student who I seemed more compatible with and switched rooms. It was a simple move since I was going to a room within the same dorm.

I stayed the rest of the year with the new room and roommate, without issue. I got along better with him than any of my other roommates, even though on paper we were nothing alike, aside from both having a high tolerance for messiness. There also was no retribution or negative issue with my old roommate and his friends. We said hi when we ran in to each other at the gym, but otherwise remained uninvolved with each other, after the move.

@Data10, what a mature college student you were! Those are not easy conversations to have, and I’m glad it worked out so well for you. My daughter woke up this morning with new determination not to let the girl get the best of her (if you knew her, you’d know this strength was a big deal) and already submitted a maintenance request this morning to repair the smoke detector. I strongly suggested that she tell the roommate of this request before a maintenance person shows up in their apartment – and also, if she wants to try and make the situation work, she needs to tell the roommate that the smoke is triggering her asthma and ask her to try strategies to keep the smoke contained in her own room (opening the window, using a fan, putting a towel under the door, etc). It’s in the roommates best interest to try and comply because she can’t be unaware of the consequences facing her if my daughter (or a subsequent roommate, if my daughter moves out) reports her. I’d be happy show up on the doorstep of the Housing Office myself today and demand a change, but I’m glad she wants to try and handle herself, at least for now. I still don’t see it ending well but this is good “adulting” practice for my sensitive, anxious student.

This is beyond the point but the THC vapes I meant are certainly not made in China.