<p>I don’t know if it is just me, so I was wondering what other parents thought. I was in a restaurant (chain) about an hour ago, went to use the restroom. When I entered, there were two boys, I estimate to be 5, and the other 8 or 9. With only two stalls, it was quite apparent that the mother was in the other. I proceded into the vacant stall, and as I was “using the loo” I could see that the older boy was staring at me through the crack in the stall! I was of couse shocked, but now I find myself angry with myself! My questions are, #1, should a boy of that age be with his mother in the ladies restroom, and #2, should I have “nicely” told her son was peeping? By the way, as I said above, this is a chain restaurant, in an upper middle class area, very family oriented place. I feel there needs to be an age cutoff somewhere. Am I being unreasonable for being miffed?</p>
<p>Unfortunately in this day and age it’s sometimes scary to send your little boy into the men’s room. What I used to do if it was a small restroom, was to make sure no one was already in the men’s room, and then wait outside while my boys were in there. If a man approached, I’d sort of apologize and tell them my little boys were in there, can he wait just a minute? Everyone understands that.</p>
<p>About the peeping- I don’t know what to think about that! Some kids just do strange things. I knew a little boy who once said to his mom, “Nice boobs!”. We were at the beach in swimsuits. It thought that was a little odd. Another time we were staying at a friends’ house, and when H and I were unpacking in the guest room, their little boy said, “I know what you guys are going to be doing in here!” with a smirk. Again, that was kind of shocking to me. I never did say anything about it to the parents.</p>
<p>I wasn’t even thinking of the boy having to use the restroom, as the two boys were just standing there with an open stall. I guess I was wondering wh an 8 or 9 year old could not stand “immediately” outside the restroom door and wait for his mother. I agree with you about sending boys into mens restrooms though.</p>
<p>GA-</p>
<p>I’m in total agreement with you. It would have been very appropriate for you to say something to the mother of the boys, although I know it can be awkward and most of us would rather just let it slide.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a similar problem I had in my backyard at a former home. My neighbors’ kids would climb on their roof to watch us in our backyard, which was enclosed by a 7’ fence. It was quite disconcerting. Despite my requests that they not do this, it continued. The family was extremely conservative and the children were quite sheltered. Frustrated at their lack of consideration of our privacy, one day I sunbathed topless (which I have never otherwise done). Those kids never “peeped” at us again! (Although I suppose it could have backfired - but with my build, that would be doubtful!) I’m sure their mother was mortified.</p>
<p>I’m conflicted on this one. There are too many stories of kids disappearing when mom wasn’t looking (whether it’s in the bathroom or elsewhere), or maybe I’m just paranoid. Perhaps this mother had a reason to be afraid - she may be afraid that the boys’ father would take them, or she could be running from abuse, or some other issue we don’t know about. I’d give mom the benefit of the doubt on this one.</p>
<p>As far as the peeping is concerned, I’d probably have simply said loudly, “Excuse me, but this is private!”</p>
<p>when you read about kids disappearning, “too many stories”, the vast majoroty are taken by family or friends</p>
<p>when I was 6, I was warned that my dad was not a nice man and might try and “take” me to live with him, and that if that ever happened to yell for mommy- It didn’t make me paranoid or anything, just aware</p>
<p>the likelihood that some boy is going to be snatched in a restaurant standing by the bathroom door is about the same as getting hit by lightening</p>
<p>the boy was old enough to stand at the bathroom door, and I would have yelled at him for peeking in, that is just gross</p>
<p>yes yelled, he knew better</p>
<p>and I would have waited for his mother and told her that her soon was very rude, she needs to hear that</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s not so much that moms are worried about their kids getting snatched…sometimes they’re worried about what their kids are going to do if they’re not watching them every second. And judging from this kid’s behavior, his mom has reason to worry. Maybe she was afraid to leave him along outside the restroom because he might harass the other restaurant patrons (although he did a good job doing just that in the rest room!).</p>
<p>then mom needs to hold it, what she can’t tell her kid to not look at other people on the toliet?</p>
<p>if she knew her kids that well, then she should gone really fast and talked to the the whole time making sure they are facing the door</p>
<p>We were at the beach once and this mother took her two boys- about the same age, into the ladies room- where people were changing!!! my mom was naked, and volia this 8 year old boy stands right next to her making faces</p>
<p>oh, and DAD was outside hanging by the car!!!</p>
<p>I was galled and actually said something to the mom…</p>
<p>When the new public pool opened by us, women were taking boys as old as 10 in with them – this into an open dressing area without curtains. I went to the management after a visit or two and suggested politely that this state of affairs should not continue. After that signs went up, restricting the age limit to six. It galled me that I would be in the dressing room with these older boys’ gazes going everywhere, walk out and find the dads waiting for the moms and sons to appear. Why can’t Dad take the kids into the men’s changing area? </p>
<p>The answer of course is family dressing rooms with curtains so the whole group can go in together.</p>
<p>I was thinking of this yeasterday. For years I would make sure they went to the bathroom before we went to the movies; for years I insisted dad went with him, and since then always say “don’t talk to anybody in the bathroom”. My son is over 5 feet eight, and will be fifteen in December and I still say it. I don’t know that I ever explained why I said that. I wonder what he thinks?</p>
<p>I used to have a rule with my two boys: I had to see their feet poking under my stall while I was inside. No way there were coming in with me, and no way were they going to be a nuisance to anyone else. If someone were peeking in at me: I’d knock on my stall door and say, “I’d like some privacy, please.” My guess is that would get the parent’s attention.</p>
<p>Whenever possible when the kids were young, DH would take them in. If they had to come with me, once they were about 6-7, I’d send them in to the men’s room and I would stand immediately outside the door. Never any problems. Sometimes, depending on the situation, I’d call inside and ask if they were almost done. (This also had the effect of letting others know there was an attentive adult around.) </p>
<p>The other public bathroom rule I had: They go in together, they come out together. No exceptions. I never posed it as a safety issue, but more as a “crowd control” one. It’s a habit they kept – they still wait for each other if we are traveling.</p>
<p>shrinkrap: I think he knows why.</p>
<p>Yes, sadly enough , he knows there are “pervs”, … but does he wonder why I think I still need to say that?</p>
<p>I don’t think this is an issue of a little boy using the women’s restroom. I’ve been to many gender-neutral restrooms where such things have never happened, but what this is an issue of is of a very rude boy who hasn’t been taught manners. You definitely should’ve said something to his mother.</p>
<p>I think that saying something would be appropriate, but please be prepared to be sympathetic if the mother tells you that the child has a disability. If he is autistic or developmentally disabled, even though he looks old enough to know better, it may take longer for him to learn appropriate behavior.</p>
<p>But he might run into a US Senator in the men’s room!</p>
<p>I would have yelled at him. But that’s just me. I have no qualms about yelling at kids. LOL</p>
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<p>I agree, it is somewhat odd social behavior (although not really completely out there). I would have said “excuse me, could you step back” or “I’m sorry I’m in here” to get the mother’s attention. I wouldn’t “yell” at a child unless I knew their situation (or their life/body was in danger). Contrary to popular belief or something, I think that most parents are not so useless that they will ignore something like that either, regardless of the source of the behavior, they will probably be quite apologetic.</p>
<p>Crossposted w/Princedog, sorry! I would have said something like “Excuse me young man, it’s rude to look through the crack in the restroom stall!” That would have gotten mom’s attention.
Men’s room’s can be disgustingly dirty. I used to stand at the door of the LADIE’S room and have my son go in alone. I’d explain to the woman outside while I waited. I’m sorry, but my little guy was not going anywhere near those urinals and in the men’s room, I’d be unable to help if needed some assistance. (I swear it took forever for my son to learn how to wipe properly!!) :eek:</p>
<p>My little boy is 7. Now I send him to men’s bathroom and wait outside of the men’s until he comes out. It does make me paranoid if he doesn’t come out right away. I do yell for him to be sure he is okay. I feel torn when I need to go to a public bathroom. Should I leave him alone outside of ladies’ bathroom? I have told him to stay right outside of the ladies’ but it makes me feel so scared until I can see him right after using the bathroom.</p>