I agree - and I keep remembering the CC wisdom of loving the “kid on the couch.” I don’t think we are trying to turn him into something he is not. For sure there was some confusion over why a kid everyone thought was so gifted is not setting the world on fire currently.
But the goal is to be self-sufficient and happy/content. His family would be fine if he chose to become a bartender (as he has mentioned in passing), or go into a trade, despite advanced degrees in math. Truly, as long as he can sustain himself. The issue is, he is not even getting himself together to get a FT job with benefits. He seems paralyzed, which is why there is now the discussion that perhaps a Dx of autism would explain a lot of his challenges, and if so, he may need some other therapy/counseling beyond the current depression therapy.