No, we didn’t have over 70 beers in our home! We left maybe 4 or 5 beers in our kitchen fridge, and there was a 12 pack in a small garage refrigerator. All were consumed, and judging by the empty boxes in the trash, they bought a 30 pack and 3 12-packs of their own.
“Let’s say he had a group of three or four of his friends over each day and they started drinking steadily at noon and continued to 2 am. That’s one beer every couple of hours each, which is certainly too many beers in a weekend but, if spread out that way, not enough for anyone to get drunk.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s “not enough to get drunk.” Drinking steadily starting at noon and continuing to 2 am is problematic behavior. Who DOES that, other than immature people?
"am finding it most interesting to discover the number of posters who are of the opinion that by the offer of “help yourself” to certain items in one’s home translates into “eat/drink it all.”
I think those people are pulling your leg. No one REALLY thinks “help yourself” - a common courtesy saying that you are welcome to have some of their food / drink – means “eat/drink it all.”
One cannot definitively say this as there’s a wide variability of alcohol tolerance depending on genetics, body build/weight, and state of one’s health at time of imbibing. For some, drinking that much over a period of time may not get them drunk.
On the flipside, I know plenty of people who’d get very drunk from merely 1 12 oz can of your average mainstream light American beer like bud light/budweiser, coors, PBR, or the like. Drinking a dozen bottles or even a tiny fraction of that would cause them to not only become drunk…but also possibly black out as was the case with some dormmates of HS friends at some Boston area colleges while I was visiting them during my college’s fall break. Most undergrads I’ve observed who participate in drinking in the Boston area not only don’t know their tolerance limit…but find it was much much lower than they assumed.
One standout case is a White friend with the same height* and heavier build as/than myself. Despite popular stereotypes among some Americans that Asian/Asian-Americans can’t hold their liquor very well, said friend would be so drunk after 1 12 oz can or on one occasion…half a sake bottle** he’d need two other guys to hold him up and help him walk/schlep along back to his home whereas I’d still be very coherent and have the ability to navigate my way on the Boston T or NYC subway system after drinking 4-5 times that amount. And this was after ensuring we weren’t drinking on empty stomachs.
I also drink much less frequently than him due to growing up in different family cultural environments, my preference for only drinking while socializing with others in appropriate venues and when I’m in the mood, and I’d rather spend my money on other things than alcohol when stocking up my fridge.
- Smidgen under 6'
** I ended up finishing his remaining half of that sake bottle along with my own full bottle that night. Not tipsy and was one of the two guys who held him up and helped him walk and navigate our way back to the convention center at night.
Unless the homeowner explicitly states this is ok and is notified ahead of time, I disagree. It’s not the housesitter’s home to do as he wishes. Also, having friends over and drinking could easily serve as a distraction from his main job…watching over the house and taking care of pets. The times I’ve house/apt sat for others, the only times I had friends over was after asking about the issue and the owner/primary resident(s) giving the ok. And I never imbibed alcoholic beverages during those stints even after turning 21.
As far as the " help yourself " issue goes, I think there’s a context here that makes the fact that he ate/ drank all of your food seem acceptable. The context is that he is a 21 year-old spending the weekend at your home to pet- sit. He probably assumed you’d be providing the food. If he was staying at my house, I would have provided meals and snacks for him, just as I did when I had a baby sitter watch my kids. So, I don’t find the fact that he ate your food to be odd or troubling, at all. Now, if you were having a cocktail party and said "help yourself " as you passed him a tray of cocktail sausages, and he proceeded to eat the entire tray, or most of it, that would be totally off-base.
Let’s not forget how he helped himself to the towels. No manners!
This summer we had a college graduate house-sit for us. When we walked in after many days away, the sink and adjacent counter were filled with dishes piled high, not even soaking, but with food dried on. I was livid that the first thing I had to do when walking in the door was spend an hour cleaning my kitchen! The next day I asked him, what was the deal with the dishes in the sink? He responded, why? did the stack fall over? That just about floored me, he saw absolutely nothing wrong with leaving the dishes for me to do! I realized that he was back living at home with mom and dad, who apparently do not even expect him to rinse his dishes and put them in the dishwasher, and he was behaving the same way at my house! After I explained to him what my issues were, he really was mortified at what he had done, so I have used him again and he has taken care of his dishes. But the lesson learned was that, even with nice kids in their 20s, they oftentimes still don’t get it!
Re: #66 The kid wasn’t supposed to take a shower all weekend?
@Youdon’tsay See #41, #42, #45 and let me know if you still have a question.
I saw the wink, wink, nudge, nudge that some of the towels may not have been for showering, but let’s not go overboard here. Balled up towels in the corner is yucky, but can’t he “help himself” to towels to shower?
We used the neighbor to babysit once and only once. They left our house messier than when they came, left us a sink of dirty dishes that they used, and our kids were not particularly enthused by them. We never used them again. My cousin’s kids on the other hand washed all the dishes they used and left the kitchen nice and clean. They engaged with our kids and our kids were happy for me to use them again.
Our kids were easy kids to babysit–they were very self-amusing and liked quietly reading their own books and then would go to sleep in their own rooms.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Was he supposed to air dry?
I guess the towels could have had other uses. I also wondered if he had loaned out the bedroom to another couple. Sure hope the OP washed and changed all the sheets in the house!
Who hides used towels in the corner of a closet?
A clueless immature kid, and we’ve already established that that’s what we have on our hands.
Were they really “hidden?” I mean, the guy knows that the OP lives there. You know, like eventually, she was going to notice them. Maybe he’s just a slob. If he buried them under the house, it might seem more like “hiding” them. But heck, I don’t know the guy.
I personally think he should be held responsible for his behavior. Unlike others I don’t think it should be left to his parents. You employed him and you established the expectations and he didn’t follow your instructions. I would have called him over showed him the trash and explained that you spoke to the neighbors who told you there were others at your house after you told him not to have others visit. I would tell him that you would not be hiring him again and would not recommend him to others because of his behavior. I would also tell him that you expect him to find the key within a specific period of time or you will have the locks re keyed and take the charge from his fee. I would also tell his mother what you were going to do. I don’t consider it a crime but if the young man is to grow up he needs to realize he is responsible for his actions.
Post #75 - Ask the OP - she described them as hidden.
No question the towels were hidden. I left clean towels for showering, face washing, etc. neatly folded on the bed for him, and specifically showed him where they were and what they were for when we had our little instructional “walk-through” with him the day before we left. These towels were balled up and shoved in the farthest corner of a bedroom closet I had just cleaned out, top to bottom, last month, so I knew exactly what was in there when we left.
And we are certainly not newbies to hiring housesitters. We have used a young woman, and another young man, quite a few times over the past two years and have not had an experience like this. With previous housesitters, who have taken care of our place for up to 10 days, we have come home to an extremely dirty house, the occasional broken dish, a broken door lock, and a ticketed car that hadn’t been moved for street sweeping as instructed. But we’ve had no problem letting those things slide because at the end of the day, though not kids, we realize these are still young people and we felt these things were more youthful carelessness than deliberately and knowingly ignoring our instructions. Once the other young man did text us and asked if his friend could hang out with him to watch movies before doing so. We were fine with that, said so, and thanked him for checking with us first. We’re not unreasonable.
We decided to hire this young man this time because the other young woman is now in graduate school, and the other young man has two jobs now and we figured he really didn’t need the money as much anymore. The kid we just hired was griping to us at his 21st birthday party how much he hates living at home and how much he wants to move out and needs money, so we figured we’d give him the chance to earn the $$ this time. It was actually my idea to ask him instead of the other young man! When we came home from this trip, I was stunned and amazed that the house was so clean, it practically reeked of Pine Sol and the kitchen floor was obviously freshly washed. No other house sitter has done more than swept. At first I was very pleased, but as everything else came to light I realize now perhaps it was necessary to practically disinfect the place.
And I found the key this morning – on the ground in the backyard.
" I was stunned and amazed that the house was so clean, it practically reeked of Pine Sol and the kitchen floor was obviously freshly washed. "
So it sounds like he really did try to clean up. I doubt he hid the towels. Maybe someone else did.
Thank goodness you found the key. That was the one thing I was most concerned about.