We just returned from a weekend trip to find that our good friends’ 21 year old son, who was dog/house sitting for us had other friends of his in our home and they apparently consumed copious amount of beer while here, judging by the bag containing 70+ bottles of beer we found in our trash. My husband and I are livid. We have known this young man since he was 5 years old and I can’t believe he would show such disrespect to us and to our home. After stewing over the whole thing, I texted his mother to let her know. He lives at home, and just before we went out of town she actually texted me to say he was “looking forward to getting away from Mom & Dad” and that she had made it clear to him that it “was only him that was allowed” in our house.
At first, we just texted the boy, thinking he was 21 and an “adult” but then realized he did not act like one and therefore did not deserve to be treated like one. Hence we decided to let the parents know, especially since the mom apparently had this specific discussion with her son and he disregarded her advice.
Wondering how others would deal with this? Frankly, other than letting the boy know we know what went on, and letting his parents know, we really have no desire to be involved further in how the patents address this with their son. All we know is that he will not be house sitting for us again!
You have my sympathy 100% - that kid done wrong! But… just curious… how many days were you gone? 70 beers, divided by 7 days… 10 per day… he might have only had 1 friend over… on 1 or 2 occasions.
Two days/two nights, however you look at it! So the kid tells us that it wasn’t a “party” - just a few friends over the course of the weekend. So I have my choice of envisioning either a my home full of strangers having a couple drinks each, or a “few” friends, drunk out if their minds on a dozen beers or more each. Can’t tell which scenario I prefer…
No, no damage, other than disconnecting our tv/cable set up so he could apparently plug in and use his own Xbox . So now we have to figure out how everything was plugged in before - kinda hard to do when you didn’t do the disconnecting!!
And he drank every beer of ours we left in the fridge!! We did tell him to help himself to any of the food/drink we had (he is 21, after all) but we didn’t think he would d rink every last one! Got home late last night after a verrryy long drive and the cupboard was bare
I would say, be glad your home was clean and nothing is missing. Ask the young man to reconnect the TV. Don’t have him house sit ever again. Be glad the situation wasn’t worse, because it could have been much worse!
Something similar happened with us and I wrote the boy a letter explaining everything that could have happened as a result of is actions. Theft would be high on my list in your situation. Things young adults don’t think about. We did tell his parents so they knew. I think he was pretty embarrased. We have had bad luck letting people we thought we could trust into our home.
Wow. 21 is old for something like this. This is what I would expect from a 16 year old. Sorry this happened to you. The only think I’d do differently at this point is that I would have called instead of texted. Some things just require a conversation.
I’m of a split mind here. I don’t get the sense that YOU specifically told him to not have people over, that you left it to his parents. But they weren’t the ones employing him. As you wrote, he is an adult, and I think you should have set clearer rules with him. I also think that you didn’t need to go to his parents about his behavior as he is 21. If they asked, I’d be truthful, but I feel like you’re sending him mixed messages here. You assumed he was an adult because he’s 21, but you’re still treating him like a kid by telling his parents about his boorish behavior.
My kids, now 23 and 20, have done lots of house/pet sitting, mostly for friends of mine. So after initially getting the OK from me, schedule-wise, they dealt with my kid; it was an employer-employee transaction. When the younger one was just 17 and house/pet sitting and had a gf, the friend ran by me what I was comfortable with in terms of having people over. That was nice. But then SHE conveyed to him the expectations, not me. So, long way of saying that if you didn’t set expectations yourself and instead left it to the 21yo to deal with his mom, that was a mistake. The 23yo has two regular gigs that even go through me now.
He’s of legal age to drink so I’m not freaked out about that, but I am appalled that he’d have friends over and drink all YOUR beer! I mean, this is a chance for him to be out of Mom and Dad’s control and get to have a little party, but to not make it BYOB and drink all yours??? What a spoiled brat. He seems immature. My kids don’t even eat the food specifically bought for them because they are hyper-concerned about not looking like they are taking advantage. And I don’t have a problem with setting up his Xbox, but he needed to leave the TV as he found it, which means returning it to its prior state.
I’d chalk this up to lesson learned and not give it another thought.
I agree with other posters that this could have been a much worse situation. I might be annoyed that the boy drank every last beer but thats about it. Did you specifically tell him he could not have friends over?
I think this is a case of poor manners, not something to be outraged over. Since he is 21 years of age I would have taken it up with him and let him know I was disappointed. Case closed and he doesn’t house sit for us anymore. (Would have been his loss we pay really well for housesitting!!)
So lets say the kid had been smarter and not left the 70 empty bottles of beer… Would you have known he had someone over or would you have thought he just drank all your beer himself?
Well, at least he did stay HOME and watch the house!!!
I think I might have confronted the young man first before the parents - and give him a chance to come clean and tell what did happen. Then at that point either recommend he share with his parents or you will (if you are so inclined).
To accept the responsibility, he needs to be confronted with the responsibility.
