<p>We pass babies around during the worship service. Small congregation, so every baby is “our” baby and most welcome. </p>
<p>On Sunday a three year old asked, as the scriptures were being read, why we were talking about helmets in church (part of the reading about putting on the armor of Christ). As soon as the reading was over I interrupted the flow of the service to answer his question. Since I’m the pastor, I can get away with that, and the congregation appreciates it rather than gets frustrated. He then left for Sunday school during the sermon, and came back during the offering decked out in the child’s size suit of armor I’d purchased for the classroom, all excited.</p>
<p>Three year olds can be great teachers in church. At another small congregation, we all fit around the altar rail to take communion together, but Derrick (about 27 now) sat alone in the pew and called out, “doesn’t Jesus love me?”. Church immediately changed policy to let kids commune, faster than I could ever have accomplished by teaching. </p>
<p>And at that same church a 6 year old came running up to the chancel for the kids’ sermon asking how soon until the offering. He’d brought the dollar from the tooth fairy for his first tooth and couldn’t wait to give it to Jesus.</p>
<p>KKarma, I knew I liked D’s church when as the pastor preached a little voice started saying “Grandpa? Grandpa?” and a toddler came running up and grabbed Grandpa-the pastor, around the leg, and he finished his sermon holding the boy in his arms.</p>
<p>As a mom, I wanted my babies to be in the nursery because I needed so much the time to focus on God and worship. Others seem to enjoy having their babies with them in worship. Other people’s babies seem to be so much quieter than mine ever were. I think as fellow members, we need to show young families love and acceptance. There is no one answer about what to do about babies, just like there is no one answer about the “best” college. We had a man and his little daughter who was about 2 who started coming to our church. The man wore a big hat in church and his little daughter wandered around the sanctuary and also danced during the hymns. Our church is not one where people freely dance around! It was distracting and so many disapproved. By some miracle, no one said anything, and now that little girl is about 10 and still there in church and still dancing! But her life has been changed - and in a very big way. And, even better, our lives have been changed too because we are learning to love more as Christ loves us!</p>
<p>One of my favorite songs is “If We are the Body,” sung by Casting Crowns. To each her own, of course, but I know I want a congregation whose arms reach out to all (even crying babies). </p>
<p>My church usually has the children in the service for the first 10-15 minutes or so, which sometimes includes a children’s story, and then we sing them out with their teachers. Part of the announcements at the beginning is to tell people that if their children can’t take being still any longer they are welcome to take them into the adjacent parish hall, where the service is piped in and their kids can play in comfort. It is phrased in a very kind and welcoming way. Some services are inter-generational, and designed differently as a result. When my S was a baby, at another church, always left him in the nursery (which was a coop of parents).</p>
<p>I can’t stand it when people have kids in church who cry, talk incessantly, bang the pew doors repeatedly, or otherwise disturb the congregation, especially during meditative moments. As a choir member, I particularly hate it when we are presenting a serious piece of music that we have labored long and hard on and somebody’s kid destroys it.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a Youth Ensembles concert I went to years ago. These concerts were full of families, since the performers were kids. Normally, people with very young children sat near an exit, just in case, as any sensible parent would do. But this one time some idiot woman sat in the from row of the concert hall with a baby, who cried on and off through the first three ensembles. Finally, when the youth symphony was playing, the conductor stopped between movements, turned around, and said “Not everyone likes Prokofiev. But if you are going to cry, you should leave the concert hall.” Thankfully, she got up and left.</p>
<p>deborahb-my daughter dances in church too-she’s a member of the praise dance team! I did not grow up in such a church but boy, seeing those girls worship through dance is powerful! I do not think she’d be the worshiper she is had she not grown up being at the service with everyone else. I like her church so much more than the one where I grew up, where children were seen as an impediment, where the sole focus was the minister and where youth had no voice at all. Interestingly, it was through helping the mothers with their fussy babies that D grew to decide she wants to teach, so belonging to her church has literally changed her life.</p>
<p>I asked my mom, and she said I was a big crier Called me an unruly little boy haha. She said I behaved and she kept me with her in the main service when I was around 3</p>
<p>In general I don’t like crying babies anywhere. However, I’m okay with kids in the service, and I don’t mind a little crying and shushing, but if it gets into the uncontrollable range I do think they should be brought outside. My kids loved kids church and it was a sad day when they aged out of it. </p>
<p>I grew up in a catholic church where you could go in a room at the back with a window and it was piped in. When I was a parent we attended family friendly places. Sometimes the singers were so amazing even the kids would pipe down. </p>
<p>Silent children can attend services. The minute they make a peep, they need to be removed, no shushing allowed (even more irritating). I adhere to the old adage “children should be seen and not heard” – anywhere. Out of respect for others, we rigidly adhered to this rule ourselves when our son was little.</p>
<p>“Sometimes”? You mean that people sat there and let their kids chatter or cry through carefully rehearsed musical performances? I mean, wriggling or whispering inaudibly in Mommy’s ear is one thing…</p>
<p>I don’t think they are musical performances but rather for the worship of God and for the purpose of pleasing God. What pleases God most, not us, should be the main question. God loves these children who are crying just as He loves the effort of the choir.</p>
<p>Is it entertainment or a religious experience? Do you include children as part of God’s children?</p>
<p>They really should have the converse, perhaps a “no children please” service and family friendly for all other services. Hopefully, put the “no children please” service at 6 am.</p>
<p>Now, a baby crying is different from a toddler or older kid having a tantrum. But still, if places of worship don’t want to deal with real life, ban kids and see how long your congregation stays together.</p>
<p>Way back when I was going to church as a kid, we would sit with our parents and not act up. Yet certain people, especially other parents, did want to relegate us to the first few rows where they figured kids would be less likely to act up. We still would rather be with our parents.</p>
<p>PS - if my baby puked on you, even a little spit up, I would offer to have your outfit dry cleaned. That’s pretty unacceptable to just go “oopsie!” when someone is hit with shrapnel, if that’s what happened.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t last 1 service in Choatiemom’s church. Total silence from kids or they’re sent out? Wow. D’s church, as I’ve said, allows for some typical kid behavior, but also includes kids in the services. Every 3rd Sunday there is a “baby choir”, a youth choir, a dance team performance, youth read Scripture, greet visitors, and serve as ushers. But adults are free to shout and dance or sing a praise during the services during “regular” services, so of COURSE kids are allowed as well. But being allowed to simply BE THERE prepares them to help lead the services on Third Sundays.I believe “make a joyful noise unto the Lord” is in Scripture. I don’t think it says “everyone sit there in silence”.</p>
<p>I meant there were some really amazing musical performers or really touching songs that even soothed the colicky babies. Not every song can really bring a congregation to a standstill. </p>
<p>I’m an atheist. “Scripture” means nothing to me. <em>I</em> love the little children. I just don’t want to hear them crying during a passage of Mozart’s Requiem. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t be able to stand a church service with “praise teams” and people shouting out, and that kind of stuff. To each his own. I prefer a service that is inspiring in a different way. </p>
<p>But that is fine. there’s a church for everyone.</p>
<p>Most of my first church members were an extended family, except for one couple who lived next door to the building. The wife had had a brief affair with the organist, but then elected to work out her marriage with her husband. A baby was born and the paternity wasn’t certain, but legally she belonged to the husband. When the child was a little over 2, she came along with her parents to an evening Lenten service, escaped from mom and dad and followed me up to the altar during the processional hymn, and began dancing in front of the altar. I was enjoying her enthusiasm, and let her be. The organist’s grandmother, very loudly spoke up: "She HAS to be ____“s (her grandson’s) child - she acts just like he used to do!”. </p>
<p>And then there was the Sunday in that same church when I had a difficult time preaching because directly in front the pulpit but several rows back a toddler was scribbling all over her grandfather’s face with a tube of lipstick. He didn’t realize that it wasn’t her finger, and was letting her be, thinking that she was occupied, silent, and content.</p>
<p>The services at that church often started late one year because I had to nurse my own baby before we could begin (worship started at 11, and I had a service at another church earlier in the morning).</p>
<p>Our church has a full program for children, a nursery for babies, and a quiet room with plexiglass and speakers for parents who wish to hear the sermon while tending to children who need attention. Given all these venues, I find it rude and disrespectful of parents who allow babies and children to be disruptive – definitely NOT joyful noises. Our church can be plenty loud with worship, but no one I know appreciates crying, shushing, or children talking during the sermon. Even when our kids’ choir or Sunday school classes perform at the beginning of some services, the children are led out to their respective programs as soon as they are through. It never entered my head to allow my infant, toddler, or (later) young child to sit in the adult service where he might possibly be disruptive. </p>
<p>Consolation-don’t ever go to an African American church. Seriously, my D’s praise team is much appreciated, and even the pastor’s wife has been known to shout her appreciation for the sermon. But it’s all ok because that’s the kind of church it is.</p>
<p>Choatiemom, since the services at D’s church are not supposed to be silent, kids are allowed, and learn over time how to be quiet-most of the time. But when they get fussy, parents, friends or older siblings distract or calm them. As someone said above-different churches for different folks. You should probably avoid churches like D’s as well. I promise not to come to yours.</p>
<p>I have an African American woman, in her late 70’s who attends one of my churches. She calls out to me or to God or sometimes both of us at once frequently during my sermon or some of the prayers. It does not distract me - it energizes me. It annoys one or two of our members but they have become used to it or given up grumbling… either one is fine with me and the other members. They are the same two members who say that they are unable to worship because the drum set at the front of the sanctuary bothers them so much (the drums are used by a Latino congregation that uses our building later in the day) - the AA woman told them to “keep their eyes on the cross and the drums won’t bug you”.</p>
<p>By the way, when I was a pre-schooler I used to cry because I wanted to be in the sanctuary instead of the nursery… worship was much more interesting!</p>
<p>KKmama - I just wanted to say that I love your stories! Your parishioners are lucky to have a pastor/minister of such warmth and understanding.</p>
<p>In my own church, babies are allowed and fairly well tolerated (I say “fairly well” because I have seen some in the pews give very disapproving looks to crying babies and squirmy toddlers.) I understand that there are times when noisy children can be distracting, but it’s also distracting when some of the elderly in the pews whisper too loudly. Should we send them out, too? (Probably not - they’re the ones who pledge…)</p>
<p>I guess I’m in the camp of “let the little kids stay.” Otherwise, how will they learn to behave? Besides, I do like to think that God loves to see them there.</p>
We had a man and his little daughter who was about 2 who started coming to our church. The man wore a big hat in church and his little daughter wandered around the sanctuary and also danced during the hymns. 
Called me an unruly little boy haha. She said I behaved and she kept me with her in the main service when I was around 3</p>
“Scripture” means nothing to me. <em>I</em> love the little children. I just don’t want to hear them crying during a passage of Mozart’s Requiem. </p>