<p>Would you/have you brought your child into the main church service (or any religious service really)? Is there any sort of etiquette for this sort of thing? When I have a child I think I would keep him/her in the nursery that most churches have. Is there anything wrong with doing this? </p>
<p>I’m not condemning parents who do this. I’m just curious. Today for instance I was at Lakewood Church today, and it just seemed as if every baby that was there today just wanted to cry or scream. I’ve seen this a lot and usually the parent will immediately rush out with their child, but sometimes they would keep the baby in the service and try to shush them. But today, a baby behind me threw up on me, the kind of gurgling burping they do. Thankfully I had a vest that I could take up. So what is the compromise?</p>
<p>Some visitors are reluctant to leave a small baby in a nursery if they’re not familiar with the caretakers.</p>
<p>I grew up in a very strict church that thought everyone should be in the service together - there was no nursery or Sunday school class. So my sister and I learned to behave in church at a very young age!</p>
<p>It depends on the church. At my D’s church, services can run 2+ hours and babies and children are always welcome. Parents bring snacks and toys to keep them busy, even blankets to cover them if they fall asleep. Really disruptive ones are sometimes taken out to the lobby for a bit, but the services are informal and the preacher expects parents and little kids to need to move around. My D started going when she was a baby with my SIL. Now she’s involved in many ways in youth groups and ministries. I don’t think she’d have such a close connection if she’d had to be in some other room all the time!</p>
<p>OTOH, the church I work at is much more formal and keeps the children at the service only for the first 15 minutes, then they go downstairs to Sunday School. But that’s all they’ve ever known, so no one minds. </p>
<p>This is why my sister-in-law started a family friendly service at her Episcolpalian church. Those who wanted the traditional service went early (and there was Sunday school) or you could go the the service that welcome children and told the lessons with puppets and group discussion. </p>
<p>I’ve never had a problem with babies at church. If a baby starts crying, be thankful God gave the baby a good set of lungs. If baby is too disruptive the parent can step outside or go to church crying room. Different churches have different makeups …if most in at service are older without children with them, one screaming baby sounds like an army…if everyone has a baby hanging on their shoulder, few will care about a couple babies screaming.</p>
<p>We have rocking chairs all around the sanctuary, and an excess of helpful people who like to walk and comfort a small human being who is hungry, tired, and on sensory overload. That happens in church all the time, we’re used to it. Our pastor on occasion will just appropriate a really unhappy baby and preach while rocking. Seriously. Otherwise, young families find a better, more tolerant congregation. We love our babies! There’s a nursery, too, but not everybody is a nursery baby. Soon enough they’ll be teens who refuse to come! (Throwing up on you is kinda unacceptable, though. But life happens.)</p>
<p>It honestly doesn’t bother me much. My church has a nursery and when my kids were small I stayed there with them until we all went in at communion time.
I will never forget the time a couple who were visiting our church remarked that it was so nice to see all of the babies/young children at our services. They belonged to a church that was quite literally “dying out”.</p>
<p>I think the consistency of staying in the service does rub off on the kids who are there every week, they learn to stay quiet over time. Of course, being vomited on is distressing in any context. I hope the parents apologized profusely and offered to pay any dry cleaning costs. </p>
<p>At our church, there has always been childcare (church volunteers) in the Sunday School classrooms during the worship service. It’s for children up to four years old. Once they enter kindergarten they have to go with their parents to the sanctuary for the service.</p>
<p>My church runs the same way as PackMom’s. Our pastors are very relaxed and easygoing people - they have kids of their own, so nothing would disrupt the service, although a really off the wall kid would usually be taken out for the sake of the parents’ comfort.</p>
<p>Parents who bring babies into the service usually walk out if/when the baby has a crying fit, just out of consideration for the others who are enjoying the service. Then if/when the baby calms down, they come back in. I think that’s only appropriate.</p>
<p>Learning to sit still through a service is a skill.</p>
<p>In my church, there is a whole legion of church ladies eager to snatch that baby out of the arms of the parents and take a walk with it. Just to give the parents a break, you understand!</p>
<p>At my church most parents will leave the area if their babies get fussy. I don’t mind a crying baby or a wiggly toddler, but I really don’t like it when 3 or 4 year olds spread out on the church pew or eat Goldfish crackers. It wasn’t easy, but our kids were taught to be sit respectfully in church. Their options were to draw on a small tablet, play with their fingers or go with Dad out the the church steps for firm but gentle discussion.</p>
<p>When my sons were young, I attended a church where the members repeatedly asked me to take my son to the “Crying Room” even though he wasn’t crying or misbehaving. Their Crying Room was in the basement without an intercom or any way to listen to the service. I felt like I was being exiled for having a baby. After a few months of exile & non-participation in the service, I wondered why I was even attending that church. I resigned my membership and found another church that welcomed children. </p>
<p>On the brighter side, I met one of my closest friends when she was also exiled to the Crying Room. Her D1 and my S2 were baptized together. Our children have grown up together like brother & sister, and our families still remain close 23 years later. She left the church shortly after I did, for exactly the same reason: we didn’t feel welcome. (full disclosure: my father was a minister. I grew up in the church. I left the denomination of my grandfather & father - with their blessing - to go to a place where my children were welcome.)</p>
<p>When my kids were younger, they always loved when a baby/toddler was sitting in front of us. The baby provided lots of entertainment and smiles to my kids throughout the mass. </p>
<p>While I don’t mind babies in church and some noise, I do think when they get quite vocal (crying, shrieking - anything loud and long) it’s time for someone to step outside of the service area with them. I do support the idea of a glassed in room for parents/babies but hate that it’s always called “the cry room”! We never used the nursery. That WOULD have made my kids cry - they did not like being left in places like that.</p>
<p>Like @zoosermom there are women in church who will GLADLY hold a crying baby to soothe it. I am willing to hold or walk any baby at any time! lol </p>
<p>It may be different in synagogue than in church, but I remember during a High Holy Day service (the most serious service we have), a child began crying. The parent stood to take the child outside. The rabbi stopped her halfway out and told her to stay, crying baby and all. “The cry of a child is a prayer to G-d’s ears. The child belongs here,” he said.</p>
<p>He then relayed the story of a rabbi who had survived the Holocaust. He came to America and found a small congregation in need of a rabbi. Several years later, a baby started to cry during a service, and the mother made preparations to take the child out. With tears in his own eyes, the rabbi said, “No. Please stay. This is the first cry of a child in a service that I have heard since 1938. It is a sign from G-d that life goes on.”</p>
<p>Needless to say, I love having children in services!</p>