<p>Could someone please help me critique my babson college supplement essay 
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<p>Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:</p>
<p>Dear Roommate, </p>
<p>Let me first congratulate ourselves for reaching this milestone to be accepted into this prestigious college and I hope that the next four years together, will be the most academically rewarding. </p>
<p>My name is Leonardo Miguel Francis; I am half Filipino, a quarter Sri Lankan and a quarter Anglo Indian. I lived in Malaysia for the first 12 years of my life and now have relocated to Singapore where I have been living ever since. Let me sum up myself in three words: committed, sensitive and versatile. I am Committed in what I do, be it at sports, in the class room or whether its our friendship. I am here for you, through project deadlines or personal troubles. I feel that being roommates is like a partnership and let is do our best to make it work. </p>
<p>I am a sensitive person and an understanding individual once you get to know me. As you can see from my heritage I have been influenced by several mixed cultures and ethnic backgrounds which I believe has lead to the development of my characteristics to be sensitive, caring and understanding towards others. I am sociable, helpful and will not cause much inconvenience as a roommate. I may not be the most perfect guy, but I can put in the effort to be a good and loyal friend who will not be a nuisance to you. Lastly, you will find me versatile as a friend, who is easy going and who can get along well with others. I am patient and flexible when it comes to situations and will ask for your input whenever we need to make decisions, especially with projects. We are in a new place, with new classmates, and I hope that we will get through this new venture together as friends in the classroom and out. I hope my characteristics correspond with yours to build a friendship that would last for years to come. </p>
<p>Babson has always been a school that is on the top of my university list because of what it can offer me - a great business education. As I come from an entrepreneurial family background, its renowned business program which emphasizes in entrepreneurship appeals greatly to me. My father runs a logistics business dealing with the navies of the world, including the US navy, which are one of his loyal customers. I intend to major in family enterprising at Babson as this course would equip me with the skills and knowledge that can help me manage and grow the company to a level of great prosperity and success. I hope that your major collaborates with mine, as we can both work on projects together, which would be a fun and worthwhile experience. As the eldest in the family, I feel that I have big shoes to fill and hope that Babson could help me fit into my fathers shoes. Babsons elite academia, diverse student culture and the schools vision and values are very important to me as I think this overall experience will lead to my growth as a student and individual. Innovation, diversity and excellence are the key foundations that the school live by and I think it is these fundamentals that can help us fulfill our dreams in the business world. I hope that you will be there with me to support me, as I will be supporting your aspirations and dreams whatever they may be. </p>
<p>What I most look forward to in college is to build strong relationships with students and teachers, the unforgettable moments that we will experience together and the challenges we will face and overcome. Finally, I eagerly look forward to the day when we will receive the degrees in our hands, reflecting on the four years we spent together, as we then embark on our first steps together into the real world. </p>
<p>Sincerely, </p>
<p>Leonardo Francis</p>