<p>So — I can bet many of you saw the writing on the wall, and knew I wasn’t going to make it as an MT, I didn’t make it. I did make the BFA acting program without even listing it as an intrest, or doing the full audition for it.</p>
<p>I was pretty sure I was known as “coughing girl” ---- I coughed so much, everyone thought I was sick, lol. I’m so not sick :/</p>
<p>My audition group was stellar,and of course, I was last, which — sucks, if your super nervous and every single person ahead of you is beyond amazing, My vocals weren’t horrible, but I know when I get nervous I overact, and I definately did. I simply hit the last note of my uptempo – and that’s a fersure powernote---- wrong,then fixed it, I definately wasn’t as strong as I should’ve been — But — I probably would’ve done better if I didn’t want it so bad. My monolog went well, and when I asked kids about my audition, they rambled on about how good of an actress I was, I knew from that point on, I was screwed. I mean – they loved my voice, and talked about how musical theatre I am, but - I could’ve been better… and I hate myself for it. Dancing was super easy, so, I didn’t really care, I plastered on my smile and went for it. Then I did my tour, ate, etc, etc.</p>
<p>Then, I got called in. I knew I wasn’t getting it — which sucks, I could just tell. But then they offered my the BFA in acting — which somehow made me more angry. They said it would be a great oppurtunity for me. The lady talked to me like I shouldn’t be singing at all, she did mention that I could dance as much as I want ,which is honestly, my least favorite thing out of the trifecta that is musical theatre. Then the Theatre BA lies open as well … I mean it’s cool I got offered BFA acting without doing the required audition for it, but — you understand how much I love singing… so, I’m very frustrated, mainly because I could’ve done better. Musical Theatre is my life, and as much as I love acting — I’m torn between my two loves, so to speak, my love for the MU theatre department —and the school in general. and my absolute need to have musical theatre in my life all the time. I mean, Musical theatre is everything to me, my passion, my life, my love— the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I dream, EVERYTHING. I’m never felt so wrong in my life.</p>
<p>So, now, I’m at a quandary, do I pick a school that I’d be happy at, with everything I want, everything I need, without my vocal lessons meaning anything, with a hope I could transfer at some point. Or another school, that I won’t like, simply because I’ll be doing what I love.</p>