<p>I suggest you just call the host and apologize and tell her that you would love to replace it. This might make you feel better, and doing it while hearing voices might be better than a note. Personally, I wouldn’t think twice if someone broke something of mine. I would feel badly that they felt bad. Material things are not precious to me. And, if they were, I don’t think I would use them at a book group meeting.</p>
<p>I really wouldn’t over worry this. You already apologized!</p>
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<p>That may be an artifact of being from a Chinese-American family. I’ve been of the view that considering even US culture gives more authority/gravitas towards those who are older, I feel there’s also a corresponding expectation that they have more life experience and thus, should know better than to act in an inconsiderate manner…especially with those younger than themselves. </p>
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<p>Agree that there’s a generation gap, but not the one you enumerated above. </p>
<p>I believe it is due more to the fact my parents and their generation corresponded with that of the American Silent Generation and the latter part of the Greatest Generation…cept they were born and grew up in wartorn China during the Second Sino-Japanese War/WWII and the Chinese Civil Wars. </p>
<p>For them, things were much harder to come by than the “starving student situation” you described. However, their imparted attitudes towards offering to pay due to the “You break it, you buy it” wasn’t mainly about the stuff itself. In fact, it’s besides the point from that perspective. </p>
<p>Providing an offer to replace it/make good on it at/above cost was considered the minimal polite gesture to acknowledge and apologize for breaking it in the first place. It’s mainly a deep respect and atonement thing, especially when you are a guest in someone else’s home.</p>
<p>If the host is going to forgive the thing, great. However, the offer needs to be made.</p>
<p>The important part is that the wine didn’t get on the carpet. :)</p>
<p>^^^^
I thought that was the advantage of Persian rugs?
It all blends in?</p>
<p>I also agree that people are more important than things.
Accidents happen. If you cant afford to tip, you shouldn’t go to out to eat & if you cant afford to have your sofa/carpet cleaned, then don’t invite rugby players over who barely change their shoes!
I never understood people who had plastic on their sofa in the " front room" that was kept for " company" while the family & most everyone else never ventured in.
In many homes everyone always ends up in the kitchen anyway.</p>
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<p>That is just crazy talk IMO. If I can’t afford to replace something I provide to my guests to use, I have no business having guests. It is not a business. People who are afraid their stuff will be broken should just put out plastic ware and tell their guests, “I’m afraid that some of you neanderthals may break some of my precious possessions and if you have to ask what they cost, you can’t afford them, so grab that Dixie cup and let’s toast friendship.” </p>
<p>As a host I wouldn’t give it a second thought - unless the glass was hurled in my direction. I would be disappointed if one of my friends thought I was the kind of host that required more than a verbal “I’m so sorry” and maybe an email the next day.</p>
<p>There’s a reason I only drink white wine.</p>
<p>I never understood the plastic covered rooms either. I have a living room and a family room and they are both used equally and both equally casual. Neither is formal. My home is lived in to the fullest. </p>
<p>If that happened in my home, I would kind of expect the person to offer to replace it but would also never allow them to do so. If I broke something that someone else had, I would offer to replace but not really expect them to take me up on it. It just seems like the “right” gesture.</p>
<p>Wow, I’ve only seen one living room covered in plastic back in jr hi years. I thought it was the weirdest thing. I do put pretty fabric throws over some of our furniture, but plastic–what are you saving it for? I guess it’s like never wearing nice gifted clothing because of saving it for a special occasion or even keeping jewelry at a bank deposit box and never wearing it. It’s a mind set.</p>
<p>I would never allow someone to replace a broken item either. Well, I did let friends repair the screens their visiting dogs totally ripped out of our screen porch, but they insisted and did it themselves.</p>
<p>EK–I’ve been amazed how resilient good woolen rugs and runners are. They don’t seem to take on dirt or show much. Red wine on white maybe would be a problem, but they are not like carpeting.</p>
<p>Okay, I’ll fess up. My grandparents had plastic covers on some of their furniture. It was not attractive furniture as I remember either, lol. They lived through the depression and saved EVERYTHING. I think that mindset is something that’s hard to overcome. They took tinsel off the christmas tree each year and rewrapped it on the board and used it again the next year…the kind you could get for 19C a box. They were frugal, but not cheap if that makes since. They were always generous with gifts (not overly, but just normal grandparent gifts). Oddly, they had an amazing burgundy leather couch downstairs that I loved. I got some of the furniture in their home when they went to assisted living. I was the only grandchild that owned a home with kids and needed it, so I got two bedroom sets of solid maple furniture for the boys. I never asked who got that leather couch.</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s odd things that motivates people. Personally, there has never been a room in my home that’s been off limits. I don’t have a living room (it’s a cosy library), and in my retirement home I’d prefer not to have a formal dining room, but a very large eating area next to the kitchen to accommodate a table for 10. I take pride in my home, but it’s here to be lived in. We’ve raised our kids here. We’re adept at drywall repair due to everything from nerd swords to backpacks (yup, put too many text books, swing it, and it will dent your wall). </p>
<p>So, wine glasses. Such a non issue. Ours are actually industrial strength and very hard to break, so I might give the guest some kind of award, lol! 
I would never accept any type of offer to replace (they are from overseas so hard to do anyway, but we have a steady stream of family that visits so we can add to the collection any time we like, nbd). It’s just a wine glass, or a plate, or whatever. Stuff is stuff. My friends, no matter how old or new they are, are what is important to me. I came to this earth with nothing and I’ll leave that way. In between all I have is the chance to interact with the people I come in contact with. Every day we make decisions to make those positive or negative interactions. I don’t always get it right, but I try to make them positive and have found most people in my life offer the same to me.</p>
<p>Indestructible, yet elegant wine glasses:
<a href=“http://royaldesign.com/us/viewitem.aspx?ID=6370[/url]”>http://royaldesign.com/us/viewitem.aspx?ID=6370</a></p>
<p>I have some really nice lexan wine glasses. We use them on the deck and for outdoor picnics. They look exactly liked Reidel stemwear. They carry them at Target.com.</p>
<p>I’m with cartera…if <em>I</em> choose to use glassware, I know that there is the chance it will break. SO WHAT! I have it to USE, not decorate my china cabinet.</p>
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<p>I usually look these kind of questions up out of curiosity, but didn’t this time. I just can’t imagine not offering to replace ( if expensive, would proactively replace) or as a host accepting such an offer. Here’s what the etiquette mavens have said:</p>
<p>[Miss</a> Manners](<a href=“http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/08/AR2010110803972.html]Miss”>http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/08/AR2010110803972.html)</p>
<p>[The</a> Pittsburgh Press - Google News Archive Search](<a href=“The Pittsburgh Press - Google News Archive Search”>The Pittsburgh Press - Google News Archive Search)</p>
<p>[Party</a> Manners 101](<a href=“http://www.emilypost.com/social-life/hosts-and-guests/773-party-manners-101]Party”>http://www.emilypost.com/social-life/hosts-and-guests/773-party-manners-101)</p>
<p>I am with thumper. If I chose to use it, it’s on me. I wouldn’t sweat over it. I wouldn’t think it a big deal if my guest break a glass. We have three wine glasses handblown, about 100 years old. I don’t ever take them out. They stay in the back of the cabinet safely.</p>
<p>It’s past the time to edit, but I really should have added we do NOT pay the prices listed on that site. I just pulled it for the photo showing the design with the sturdy stems. Like anything these go on deep discount a couple of times a year where DHs family lives so they watch for sales. They also live near a factory outlet where you can find ‘seconds’ that are excellent quality at a fraction of the cost. </p>
<p>If a guest knew my ‘pattern’ and went online, paid these prices with shipping I’d be devastated. First that they felt it was necessary, and second because I can replace it at a much more reasonable price if I decide I need another.</p>
<p>But if a guest does go out of his or her way to replace something, IMO then it’s really the same principle as accepting any other voluntary gift. In other words, I’d just accept it graciously.</p>
<p>My (Orrefors that I hate) crystal is hand blown and expensive…and 30 years old. It was given to us over a number of years. I have to say…some the glasses don’t exactly match the others. If someone bought me ONE replacement glass, it likely would not go with any of the others at this point. I’m not sure Orrefors even makes mine any more!</p>
<p>My goal in life is to have a set of polishless silver stemware. </p>
<p>I don’t even think such a thing exists. </p>
<p>Until then, stemware from Tuesday morning will be fine. And basically disposable/ replaceable!</p>
<p>I would expect a guest that broke anything to be apologetic, help clean it up, and offer to replace. I would decline any offers to replace, and joke about it as we were cleaning it up!! </p>
<p>I too would be more worried about someone being injured by the broken pieces. </p>
<p>And I would completely downplay the effect a broken item had on me, even if it was a one of a kind item willed to me by a beloved grandparent. </p>
<p>As someone else said, things are things. </p>
<p>Sent from my DROID RAZR using CC</p>
<p>I hate my Orrefors, too. They are paper thin and chip just looking at them. I wanted Waterford but when we were registering for our wedding DH picked them and I wanted to let him have one thing he wanted on the list. </p>
<p>Years ago my mom bought 12 hand blown wine glasses from an artist in Skaneateles, NY. Then several years ago she read an article that the Clintons had bought or been given - I’m not sure which - wine glasses from the same artist for the WH so she decided to have them appraised for insurance purposes. She was told they are worth something ridiculous - like $30K! They immediately went to the very back of her china cabinet and haven’t seen the light of day since. I suppose when the time comes my sister and I will put them up for auction because I would be beside myself if one of them broke but what is the point of owning something you are too afraid to use?</p>
<p>Orrefors is what I have for my nicer wine glasses ( and also beer glasses ) They are fairly new and contemporary , some have been given to me as hostess gifts from Swedish guests.
I intentionally put them in the back of the cabinet when we had a young woman staying with us since she was notorious for breaking my wine glasses outside…even broke one in our hot tub , which resulted in the draining of the tub. My husband just brought me back some beer glasses from Kosta Boda in Sweden …lovely one display , but I don’t think they will get much use because they are very thin</p>
<p>At one of our “formal” holiday dinners, a guest broke a waterford because she was careless and knocked it over. It was part of the whole set that H’s mother gave him, which is to be given to our girls some day. The husband replaced it without asking. I was very happy that he did because it was close to 200/stem. I do not use the set any more when there is company because it is too awkward if one should break. </p>
<p>H also breaks a lot of things, so I get a lot of everyday glasses for people to break.</p>
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<p>I got a ton of nice crystal for my wedding and after years of having it on display, using it for holidays only, as the kids reached the end of their high school years, I began getting it all out and using it. We do have a set which has sentimental value, I only use that with family. As I help friends & family dealing with aging parents, I see so much ‘stuff’ left in the cupboard for ‘good’ and never used, and really not having near the ‘value’ the people think. Yes, full retail replacement can be expensive, but rarely can your kids sell the items for that high price. I do see some high priced completed sales on eBay, but if I go to Amazon, I see them offering certain crystal for over $100/stem, yet on eBay selling them for much less.</p>
<p>I don’t think there is any reason to save something you love, better to use it and enjoy it. This attitude has only gotten stronger after helping my in laws ‘value’ things they thought were so great to have, only for the perceived financial value, not for the intrinsic pleasure of owning the item. And yet, good luck getting 1/3 of the 70s era appraisal, even jewelry is a low net on resale. It you have it, use it and enjoy it, don’t hoard it.</p>
<p>But, I still don’t put my pretty bedspread on unless we have company, because the dog is always on the bed ;)</p>
<p>^^^I agree with this, somemom. I have so many lovely things saved over 40 years of marriage, and now that my kids are adults, it’s time to use it. Things can be broken, but they can also be replaced. I’d much rather replace a $200 goblet than leave it sitting in the cupboard for fear of being broken.
My dear son overheard me mention a broken goblet when I was setting our Thanksgiving table last year, and I found a replacement under the tree from him on Christmas morning. Not a $200 one though. He would have let his dad handle that one.
Things that we plan to leave our kids take on special meaning because of the occasions when they were used. Using my mom’s silver brings back memories of my own childhood. By itself, it wouldn’t have the same value to me.
Use, make memories, and enjoy!</p>