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<p>Non sequitur. They both achieved equivalent status/success regardless of how you perceive them to be treated.</p>
<p>I think, and I hate ti generalize here, but women are more likely to take time off to gave kids or stay at home then men are, and this hurts them or stops them from wanting to advance to ceo. It takes a certain type is mentality and I think more guys tend to gravitate towards it. Not saying that’s correct, just my two cents.</p>
<p>We have a woman ceo. They are out there. </p>
<p>I had to laugh the other day because one of my co workers said that I’m like a kid thatplaying the outfield, who is supposed to be looking for the ball but while doing that is counting flowers and watching butterflies, while directing everyone else on how to play the game. I thought it was a funny statement… because I’m totally a multi tasker who loves organizing everyone and helping everyone move forward as a team, and I’m not afraid to take the lead on something that doesn’t have clear leadership and run with i. I don’t think it comes off as bossy, but who knows. </p>
<p>@sax : but what is “overly”? That is really the question. I think that “overly” for women is dynamic for men.</p>
<p>Definition of bossy: given to ordering people about, domineering, overly authoritative</p>
<p>All in all, a horrible style of leadership. You can ban the word, but the behavior is still horrible. So is the solution to just call everyone who acts that way with a single, less gender-specific word? </p>
<p>Would a different word be acceptable as a descriptor of overly authoritative behavior? Officious? Dictational? Overbearing? </p>
<p>(Or is the point that this style of leadership is a good one, and we should stop criticizing the behavior?)</p>
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<p>Works for me…as long as it is applied equally. To me the issue is not so much the word, although it is quite blatantly sexist, but the way male and female behavior is interpreted and the value judgments applied.</p>
<p>I think people interpret others behavior in a very individual way. </p>
<p>We didn’t raise our voices much as our kids grew up. We just don’t yell, shout or scream. We talk, we listen and we debate.
My good friends raised their kids in a very different way. They were used to daily yelling and arguing.</p>
<p>To this day my kids tell me they wish we had yelled and argued a bit. There seems to be a place for this in the business world and they both retreat from yelling. They can handle confrontation but not in what they feel is a demeaning way. </p>
<p>They might think someone is overly athoritative or bossy that their friends don’t. </p>
<p>You can be overly authoritative and bossy without yelling of course.</p>
<p>All of my coworkers are male and I’m female. I’ve worked in my industry for more than 30 years. I can’t remember being called “bossy” to my face (grade school knocked that out of me fast) and I think that’s because I try very hard to be low key. Every suggestion gets a qualifier like “I don’t know much about that but maybe you might try xxx”. I’m a smart competent person, but every day I have to act like I don’t know that to get along. Even so, I often hear comments like “You think you know everything” or “Yes, MOM”. No man in this company would ever get these comments. Do you want your daughters to work like that? I love my job, but some days are challenging in ways that are unnecessary and unfair. I can only hope that we can move forward and that I raised my son in such a way that such a term would never occur to him.</p>
<p>I think the problem is that words like “bossy” are disproportionately misattributed to women in power. The fact that it is misattributed is the point to discuss, not whether or not it’s good to be bossy. Obviously it’s not good to be bossy. But when bossy is taken away from its proper usage so much, I think it loses it’s true meaning, which is the premise that the girl scouts or whoever are operating on.</p>
<p>Personally, I haven’t seen that happen with “bossy” but I’ve seen it a whole heck of a lot with “b*tchy.”</p>
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<p>I was raised with a father and some aunts/uncles who would yell and argue a bit…and like your kids, I’d feel that behavior is not only someone acting like a mini-authoritarian or bossy, I also do my utmost to avoid working with bosses like that. </p>
<p>However, my reasons weren’t that I’m afraid of them when they’re exhibiting this behavior per se. </p>
<p>Rather, it’s self-awareness that I tend to react very badly with such bosses/people…whether it’s uncontrollable chuckling at behavior I regard as being akin to a temper tantrum throwing toddler or to openly display contempt or poke fun at their overly uncontrolled emotional behavior. </p>
<p>People with this tendency also seem to have a knack for providing the very rope to hang themselves in school or workplace settings as they inevitably end up losing their temper at the wrong times…such as in the presence of a teacher/supervisor who has little tolerance for such behavior. </p>
<p>Reaction is similar to why the widespread parodies of that military map scene from Der Undergang(Downfall) became hot comedy gold on youtube worldwide. </p>
<p>It’s fortunate that none of my supervisors ever had this issue and the worst offenders who even approached this before realizing they needed to back off IME were all male. </p>
<p>Read this link. It’s further explanation from Sandberg and Chavez, the head of the girl scouts:</p>
<p><a href=“Sheryl Sandberg Launches 'Ban Bossy' Campaign to Empower Girls to Lead - ABC News”>http://abcnews.go.com/US/sheryl-sandberg-launches-ban-bossy-campaign-empower-girls/story?id=22819181</a></p>
<p>I particularly like this quote: “We call girls bossy on the playground,” Sandberg said. “We call them too aggressive or other B-words in the workplace. They’re bossy as little girls, and then they’re aggressive, political, shrill, too ambitious as women.”</p>
<p>I think banning words is bossy.</p>
<p>Here is another of Sandberg’s quotes from the above-referenced article:</p>
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<p>This is flat-out wrong, in my 10 years of high school parenting experience. Our high school had nearly all females as student body officers, every year. There was absolutely no dearth of female club presidents, female team captains, female award winners in every subject/arena at awards night. I’d like to see her data that supports that statement, because it is not true in our area.</p>
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<p>There are more and more every year. But too many women who could be ceo’s don’t follow a path that has the potential to lead to being CEO. And that starts early. No advanced math, therefore no engineering degree, etc, etc, etc. </p>
<p>Of course, if you look to small business, I’ll wager that women are disproportionately in charge of them. In addition to businesses started by women that arise from the fashion and creative field, there are plenty of local businesses that are actually managed by the wife even though the husband is ostensibly the CEO. </p>
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<p>I saw this story on the news where they had a bunch of very young girls talking about this. It seems they were much more worried about being liked, than being called bossy. Whereas the bossy term is used, and maybe even in K-3, I think the issue of being liked is a far more fundamental issue.</p>
<p>"It doesn’t matter what you call it. When an authority figure is overly domineering, abrasive, high handed etc people find a way to describe it.</p>
<p>Both men and women can be this way. Get rid of the word and it will just be replaced with another.</p>
<p>There are plenty of women in businesses that are team builders and great leaders. I don’t think people run around calling them bossy."</p>
<p>So right. No, people don’t call good leaders “bossy”. Bossy people (both men and women) are the type who micromanage people and want to dictate everything they do. That is not leadership. Bossy people are often not the ones in charge, but they just can’t resist telling others what to do. I have called men and women bossy, though I’d be more apt to call a guy a couple of other far more offensive words. Would that make the ladies feel better if they were called those words?</p>
<p>Honestly, another solution in search of a problem. The word isn’t the issue, that’s ridiculous. The attitudes are, and I don’t think it helps any woman’s cause to pursue such trivia.</p>
<p>I can see how this entire thing is going to end up. “You can’t call me bossy, you’re not allowed! I’m going to tell on you. You’d better say you’re sorry and you’d better not do it again. What do you mean, I’m not the boss of you? Yes I am, and you’d better not call me bossy!”</p>
<p>Good grief.</p>
<p>Bossy women are shrill. Bossy men are bombastic. Both styles are offensive.</p>
<p>When I was a baby lawyer we were taught that we needed to be “assertive”. The “b” word was occasionally heard as a descriptive turn for some of our female lawyers. Bossy would have been nice! 
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<p>It occurs to me that maybe this whole thing is Charles Schulz’s fault. </p>
<p>Hey, now if Lucy isn’t the definition of bossy, who is? Oops, I guess she was just a leader!</p>