<p>Lucy, a leader? How many girls do you know who wanted to be like Lucy? Yeah, thats what I thought. :)</p>
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<p>That lines up with my experience in the past as a female engineer. Now my husband and I co-own our firm - it’s just the two of us, so I don’t have to listen to stupid comments!</p>
<p>^^Of course, you have to listen to HIS stupid comments. Just kidding!</p>
<p>I work with about 95-96 percent men. I am the boss. I am very low key, non critical and pleasant… but that is not because I am female. It is my personality, and I want everyone to feel valued, and do not want to shut anyone down. I was not the boss for a long time, and I know what it feels like. I could be abrasive, critical and obnoxious if I wanted to be, but I don’t. I definitely don’t feel that I have to act stupid or any certain way, that would lose people’s respect for me.</p>
<p>I think leaninorg should get " bossy" about parental leave & child care.</p>
<p>Envision House of Cards, but with the lead roles switched.
As manipulative as Francis Underwood is, would we find HOC as watchable if it was his wife Clair who was the whip and it was Francis who waited at home?
Im a feminist but I find Clair hard to stomach as she is and she hasnt killed anyone.</p>
<p>Women get called bossy when all they are guilty of, is caring what happens, and maybe having better ideas than others.</p>
<p>I wouldnt call myself or my daughters “bossy”, but we are intense and we like to be in charge.
Its better than having someone else make your decisions for you.</p>
<p>The idea of attempting to ban a word is just silly to me. That will not change how people are portrayed. </p>
<p>I don’t understand why nobody is getting this. Here’s the point:</p>
<p>When children – boys and girls – behave the same way, by trying to organize something or by trying to lead an effort, only girls are told their behavior is annoying and inappropriate. The way they are told this is that they are called “bossy.” Boys are not criticized for the same behavior – in fact, they are praised for it, by being called leaders. Consequently, girls start to hold back, since they don’t want to be criticized and told their behavior is bad.</p>
<p>Girls trying to be leaders is not a bad thing. But by telling girls that they are being bossy, they are being criticized, and they stop trying to be leaders. This is one reason – not the only one – that women are in general less comfortable taking charge.</p>
<p>Some women are bossy, as are some men, and that’s a bad thing. The point is that normal, desirable behavior in girls is criticized, and that changes their behavior as they grow up.</p>
<p>Banning the word bossy (and of course it isn’t being banned; it’s simply being highlighted) can change how girls perceive their own leadership styles.</p>
<p>“Bossy” is someone trying to take over in a inappropriate way. </p>
<p>Bossy is believing your ideas are better than the group’s ideas and simply taking over, rather than leading the group to understand why your ideas are better.</p>
<p>Bossy is ignoring the path the group is taking, and insisting that your way is best because you say so.</p>
<p>Bossy is electing yourself to be the leader just because you think you should be the the leader.</p>
<p>Bossy is insisting others follow you, because you say so. </p>
<p>Bossy is ignoring other members of the group in pursuit of your own agenda.</p>
<p>Bossy is leadership by bullying, whether you are a boy or a girl.</p>
<p>Absolutely, let’s ban bossy. Let’s ban the behavior, not the word. </p>
<p>I agree with the poster who spoke about all the high school leaders who are girls. The overwhelming majority of leadership positions in extracurricular activities at our high school are held by girls. There are also after school girls only “leadership academies”, summer time girls only leadership camps, and a STEM honors program for girls only. Girls hold well over half of the leadership positions in student government, NHS, and most clubs in our high school. In terms of the prople our students see every day, our principal, athletic director, half of the guidance department, half of the department heads, half of the assistant principals, and half of the coaches are women. Our school district superintendant is a woman. I don’t see girls being stifled, or being frozen out of leadership positions. </p>
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<p>Yes, bossy behavior is bad. The point I’m trying to make is that girls behaving the same as some boys are labeled bossy – a bad word. Boys are not so labeled. Being labeled a bad word makes you change your behavior. </p>
<p>So who is it that is calling little girls “bossy”? Their moms? Their dads? Other little girls? Little boys? Teachers?
Grandparents? Scout leaders? </p>
<p>In general girls are much more verbal than boys. Maybe this is part of it. Maybe it is the style of communication.</p>
<p>Boys: “Let’s play superhero! I’m batman…” And goes off running.
Girls: “let’s play superheroes. I’m Batgirl. You are xxx, you are xxxx and I’m wearing this. You can’t because I’m wearing this. You have to do this…then we go to the castle…etc” Thus “bossy.”</p>
<p>Maybe we are just trying to help girls fine tune their leadership skills at a young age. Don’t micromanage ( be bossy). </p>
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<p>THIS exactly</p>
<p>The word ‘bossy’ is gender specific? That would be news to me. Is it used more often in describing girls behavior? Probably. So do we ban all words that are too gender specific? What’s the threshold? If a word is used 60% or more of the time in regards to one gender, we ban it? This victimization mentality is out of control.</p>
<p>“Yes, bossy behavior is bad. The point I’m trying to make is that girls behaving the same as some boys are labeled bossy – a bad word. Boys are not so labeled. Being labeled a bad word makes you change your behavior.” -veryhappy</p>
<p>I think there is a misperception that boys are rewarded when they behave in bossy ways. I don’t believe that happens as often as women think. I think we tend to see the world through the lenses of our own childhoods, and not as things are now, thirty five years later.</p>
<p>I’m with eastcoast–boys are NOT rewarded for “bossy” behavior. Instead of calling someone “bossy”,boys tend to effectively shut out such behavior by actively ignoring it. The “boss” just loses leadership status if he goes too far and someone else steps in.</p>
<p>“Bossy” is a good word that describes a certain behavior and it unfortunately does apply in many cases. No need to ban it. Better to teach the characteristics of good leadership.</p>
<p><a href=“My Boss is a Jerk! Three Reasons Why Leaders Succeed and Bosses Fail”>http://www.forbes.com/sites/alanhall/2013/04/05/my-boss-is-a-jerk-three-reasons-why-leaders-succeed-and-bosses-fail/</a></p>
<p>I think “bossy” is very similar to “uppity.”</p>
<p>Men who behave a certain way are called forceful, or assertive, or strong. We hear that they “don’t suffer fools gladly.” Women who behave the same way are called bossy, or the other b word. While some men are labeled jerks or worse, the point here is that women are negatively labeled for behavior that doesn’t cause a man to be negatively labeled. I’ve seen this many times in my own career, in law firms and in business.</p>
<p>The point is the double standard, just as it was with “uppity.”</p>
<p>“Men who behave a certain way are called forceful, or assertive, or strong. We hear that they “don’t suffer fools gladly.” Women who behave the same way are called bossy, or the other b word. While some men are labeled jerks or worse, the point here is that women are negatively labeled for behavior that doesn’t cause a man to be negatively labeled. I’ve seen this many times in my own career, in law firms and in business.”</p>
<p>Men who behave in an over controlling, micromanaging way are not called “forceful, assertive, or strong,” in my world. They are called jerks, d…s, aholes, micromanagers, poor leaders, and nobody wants to work with them. Maybe different words are used for women, but it’s all bad behavior. These are not considered positive traits, and in the past many people have died because of poor leadership like this. Apparently these are the kind of people that law firms and businesses look up to? I am so glad to not be in that world.</p>
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But we’re not talking about over-controlling, micromanaging people. We’re talking about people who are assertive, who have strong opinions, who demand excellence from their employees, etc. If they are men, these are praised as positive traits. If they are women, they are less likely to be praised. I think anybody who hasn’t seen this double standard hasn’t been around much.</p>
<p>Another example–it’s OK for men to use “bad language” once in a while–makes them one of the boys. Women who do it are “crude.” Sure, there are guys who are really, really crude–but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a double standard.</p>
<p>“But we’re not talking about over-controlling, micromanaging people. We’re talking about people who are assertive, who have strong opinions, who demand excellence from their employees, etc. If they are men, these are praised as positive traits. If they are women, they are less likely to be praised. I think anybody who hasn’t seen this double standard hasn’t been around much.”</p>
<p>Perhaps in your world, women who are assertive and demand excellence from their employees are called bossy. That’s not what I see, that term only applies to the over-controlling, micromanaging people, both men and women.
I’ve been around for a long, long time, with a demographic that has come far from hating women to fully accepting them (mostly).</p>
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So you agree that there’s a double standard–you’re just questioning this particular verbal manifestation of the double standard?</p>
<p>Hunt, your posts express far more eloquently what I’ve been trying to say. And comparing “bossy” to “uppity” is a perfect comparison. Thank you.</p>