I know they are young but are you aware of a special cause, group, organization that each of the kids has a special interest in that you could donate to in their name? I’m even thinking of a gift that “gives back” - you know, something along the lines of TOMS products “one for one”. Or is there a Jewish organization that you could sponsor a child or make a donation to a Jewish school or something?
My thoughts are a gift where because of their celebration, someone else - perhaps less needy - ends up benefitting too.
If they are participating in a mitzvah project as part of this experience, perhaps a donation to that organization the child is working with in the child’s honor.
I don’t know what your conflict is, but I’d try to reschedule and attend. Struggling with just the right gift tells me that nothing will replace your presence at this occasion. Being there, especially when it’s family, is truly the most wonderful thing you can give.
i did think long and hard about rescheduling the conflict, but it involves other family members whom I’m close to, and would require considerable expense and a frantic drive from point A to point B to make it there on time. And she won’t really have time to visit with me, as she will be busy being the hostess. But I appreciate your thought. If it were easy logistically, I’d go.
Girls that age do love Tiffanys. My daughters in college still wear their Tiffanys rings from Their Bat Mitzvahs . If you are going to give money one nice thing is to give 2 checks. I always do One made out to the child and then another for 18 or 36 that is otherwise blank. I accompany it with a note saying the child should find a charity they like and donate that check to the charity.
I’d give the girl a Pandora bracelet and charm. Many choices so doesn’t have to be religious. Could be a ball with her birthstone charm. Boys are much harder for me (mother of two girls). I do like the wallet idea. You could give them tickets to some event in DC, like a play or concert or a fancy dinner at a restaurant. How about a small carry on suitcase? One of my kids would really like something like cooking classes or a ‘spice of the month club’ where something arrived every month for a year. It wouldn’t matter what it was that arrived (even fruit!) but she loves getting mail.
I know money is easier, but I can remember almost every actual gift I received from a relative or family friend over the years. A charm bracelet for my confirmation, a little travel suitcase when I was about 7 from my Godmother, books, a camera. There just weren’t that many and they were all very special to me and made me think of the person whenever I used the item. Still have the charm bracelet almost 50 years later. Things my kids have received over the years that they still have are charm bracelets, music/jewelry boxes, jewelry like rings, books books and more books (but chosen for them specially).
I vote for a check/$ given you don’t know the children and their tastes well. Taste and style can really differ. I have a daughter who would not have enjoyed jewelry from Tiffany or Pandora either at that age or now. Her taste is more boho, artsy. All the ideas are good, IF you know the gift recipient’s taste, otherwise they are going to be a miss and will be a waste of your $.
I would go with cash given that you dont know enough about these kids to give a gift that they would really enjoy and appreciate. That being said, you can certainly send a thoughtful note with your gift.
I’d go with money. It’s certainly customary and something the kids would appreciate. It seems your only reservation with doing it is that your half-sister did something else for your kids’ b’nai mitzvahs, but you can’t compete with her creativity and craftiness so why try. Not sending a gift at all (something you’re not considering) would be insulting; sending a monetary gift is not.
I agree that a beautiful card that contains a thoughtful message from you (along with the check, of course) is your best bet.
My D has a drawerful of Tiffany and Pandora silver jewelry that she never wore more than a few times. However, she still wears the 18K gold that we’ve given her over the years - pearl earrings and necklace, diamond studs, assorted other pieces in gold. Last year we gave her gorgeous Tahitian pearl and diamond earrings set in white gold, and this year a yellow gold choker necklace – both from Tiffany.
We are not all in your income bracket, gourmetmom I’m not willing to spend money on both a check and one of the Tiffany necklaces, even the lower price “return to Tiffany’s” silver type that is common among young girls.
If you think about buying an additional gift besides cash, before you buy it, ask yourself - “if this just sits in a drawer never used, does that bother me?” - maybe that will give you your answer whether to buy it or not.
I mean, if I bought someone a book and they never read it, I’m not heartbroken - but if I spent $100 on a necklace, I’m sad!
A check for the girl in a Vera Bradley bag and a check for the boy in a really nice wallet ( I just got my son one that he chose in DSW- it was made by Fossil).
Don’t try so hard. A nice card, a tree in Israel or another charity, and a check.
These aren’t close relatives. They probably didn’t send congrat cards when your kids graduated college. They may or may not attend weddings. Do. Or do not. There is no try. (Yo da)
“Girls that age do love Tiffanys. My daughters in college still wear their Tiffanys rings from Their Bat Mitzvah”
This is probably a regional thing. I have never heard a young teen in my upscale Dallas suburb utter the word Tiffany except as a friend’s name. Designer handbags, yes, Tiffany, no. James Avery, maybe.
I’m not willing to spend money on both a check and one of the Tiffany necklaces, even the lower price “return to Tiffany’s” silver type that is common among young girls.