<p>So I’ve been invited to a friend’s bar mitzvah. I’ve never been to one before, so I have no idea what to wear, what sort of gift to bring, etc. Help please!</p>
<p>Wear formal attire (shirt and tie). Gifts could include money, something he enjoys (but also something mature because he is becoming a man).</p>
<p>I’m not sure if my goyim friends wore yarmulkes or not when they came to mine, but I think they did, so you might want to pick one up (they might have them outside the temple).</p>
<p>^ I’m pretty sure the OP’s a girl… therefore unless she’s going to a REALLY orthodox Jewish bar mitzvah, she doesn’t need to wear a kippah (yarmulke). Anyways, yes dress like you would to any formal celebration. It’s pretty formal (generally), but many have outdoor celebrations afterwords. Therefore, wear what you would to like an outside wedding. </p>
<p>As for gift, do not buy anything Jewish lol. That’s generally for the family to buy. Buy something like you would for a birthday. If you’re going to give money then give $18, (or a multiple), because the Hebrew word for life’s numeric value is 18. Oh, and do NOT take the gift to the temple. Wait until after.</p>
<p>lol, I definitely didn’t notice that. StellaNova = clue? I went off the assumption based on second poster =D So, yeah, agreed with romani.</p>
<p>I thought my previous posts would have made it obvious that I was a girl…</p>
<p>So thanks for the advice. Anyone know how much money it is appropriate to spend on a gift?</p>
<p>AN OVERVIEW OF A BAR MITZVAH</p>
<p>In my neck of the woods, everyone has a Bar Mitzvah (my few Christian friends are Jewish by association). The structure of the typical Bar Mitzvah is a bit like a wedding. </p>
<p>Just as the wedding starts with the more serious actual marriage, the bar mitzvah starts out with a religious service on Saturday morning. At some less religious “reformed” temples, the services are often mainly in English and include songs, instruments, and discussions. At more traditional temples, the service will be painfully boring: all in Hebrew, with long periods of silent prayer intermixed with very serious-sounding prayers being spoken (really quickly) or sung (and not exactly to the tune of London Bridge, if you know what I mean). The Bar Mitzvah boy at some point will lead the service, give a thank you speech, and in the most important part, read from the Torah (which is essentially the holy scroll that contains the Old Testament).</p>
<p>The most important things to remember during this time boil down to common sense: stay quiet, maybe pretend to read the Siddur (prayer book that congregants use), be respectful…especially when your friend goes up to lead the service.</p>
<p>What follows is often a small luncheon at the temple, and then the big party, much like what follows a wedding. It’s held at catering halls (usually) and will feature lots of food, music, and dancing. Expect to hear Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This” , “Cottoneye Joe” and the Cha Cha Slide at least once each.</p>
<p>Wear something formal and don’t worry about gifts. Just get a card and write a check for him for 18 dollars if you don’t like him but he invited you anyway, 36 dollars if he’s really a friend, or more (in multiples of 18) if you’re really close.</p>
<p>For my Bar Mitzvah, I got money from everyone except for one friend, a really good friend of mine who bought me a very nice watch that didn’t fit.</p>
<p>my cousins are jewish, and at ones bat mitz vah (??) it was formal attire (shirt tie/dress?) both for the religious stuff and the party (at a night club). Just bring what ud bring to someones birthday as a present (maybe a little more expensive).</p>
<p>Tie and a suit or a nice dress is perfectly fine. Money is the best gift - simple and easy. Depending on how close you are to the Bar Mitzvah will impact how much to give. Close friends (i.e. Jewish family members) often give into the hundreds of dollars. Temple etiquette is common sense - shut up, follow along in the prayer book, etc. And btw, when the torah is passed down the aisle, do not touch it if you’re non-Jewish!</p>
<p>Stella, there will be services at the synagogue and typically some combination of a lunch afterwards and/or a dinner and a party either connected to the lunch or in the evening. At many synagogues, some modesty in female dress is expected. This mainly means keeping your shoulders covered (either a dress that covers the shoulders or a shawl or jacket will do). It used to mean no plunging necklines, but that seems to be less true. If you dress separately for an evening party, don’t worry about the modesty (other than as you would for any other party), but for the synagogue, it is likely that the kid’s relatives and people in the congregation will be uncomfortable if you don’t have your shoulders covered.</p>