<p>well being as i am basically going to leave my home…being close to home is not an issue…if anyone else has any general advice anything will be of help</p>
<p>thank you all so much by the way!</p>
<p>Obviously, I have no way of knowing why you are being disowned. But, if it’s one of the “biggies”, like coming-out to your parents or your parents finding out you’re sexually active, things may chill out a little bit eventually. Things may not be as dire as they seem right now. Your parents could, for example, seek counseling about the situation from their pastor, find PFLAG, etc.</p>
<p>They may change their minds…</p>
<p>it is a biggie…but not any of the mentioned above…</p>
<p>If you plan to be a nanny, take time now to get certified in CPR by the Red Cross and get your self fingerprinted at some place that does background checks (?) so you are ready to hit the ground running. Lots of communities have babysitter certification classes, which may sound silly, but which may give you some useful information and give you something to put on your resume. I also think that whatever you do, line up some character references now from teachers, counselors, or your church people (if you are a churchgoer) and have copies of those letters available when applying for jobs.</p>
<p>You are probably scared to death, but if you take it one day at a time, you will find that you can live independently without too much trouble. Learn how to balance a checkbook and get a credit card. Do a tax form as practice this year. Next year you will have to file because you have to declare your scholarship. Make sure your parents are not going to claim you as a tax deduction anymore. Get it in writing. Take advantage of the next few months to learn the skills you will need to be independent. You definitely want to let the school know what is going on with you. They probably have some kind of mentor program they can set you up with from day one. One more job idea that will provide housing is summer camp counselor. Good luck!</p>
<p>I think that if his parents support him by feeding and housing him til he graduates (late May? early June?), they will be able to claim him for their 2009 taxes.</p>
<p>Did you look at the sticky “in loco parentis” at the top of the page? You might be able to find a parent near your school who could help direct you to some local resources there, maybe help find a room/job as well as be a friendly face/voice when you arrive. I would be happy to help, but unfortunately live in the opposite direction!</p>
<p>Just yesterday I read an article about college kids who are sleeping on floors, in their cars, etc. because they can’t afford R&B. Apparently teenagers/young adults shy away from shelters due to the high number of drug abusers, mentally ill, and other scary things. College students are generally too old for traditional youth services, are being squeezed out of dorm rooms due to cost or lack of parental support, and are trying to get through college one day at a time and make a better life. They don’t look/speak/act like they’re homeless and usually don’t ask the college for help due to the “stigma” of the homeless label. Some colleges have additional resources available for help, but they’re often not being used.</p>
<p>Someone should start a data base for residents in college towns who want to be matched up with needy college students. They could offer below market rent or even room and board in exchange for house or yard work or babysitting, etc. That way, two needs could be met at once. I hate the idea of anyone living in their car or having to crash at a shelter if there is any other workable solution.</p>
<p>Have you any friends or relatives whom you can stay with? I even know young people who were in similar situations who stayed with their former teachers or guidance counselors.</p>
<p>Here’s another idea since you are a guy. Instead of a nanny to little kids, you might be able to work as a sitter or helper for an older person whose family needs some “respite” care during the summer. That might get you a roof over your head as well until school starts.
You could also see if you could house and pet sit for people while they are away on summer vacation-that would take a lot of networking though to find enough people to last all summer.
Any friends from school that you could spend a week with at time and go from house to house? That would stay under their parents radar screen and save you from awkward explanations.
Good luck</p>
<p>Check out nursing homes-it is usually pretty quick to be certified as a nursing assistant and there are always shortages --if you are male you have an advantage as many places need men to deal with the mail residents, or even just provide muscle for the memory impaired ones. </p>
<p>Alabama has a pretty active alumni -can you ask the college about moving into town and getting a job and housing early? There may be a professor on sabbatical who needs a house sitter, or something similar.</p>
<p>Mombot had 2 wonderful suggestions. Friend of S spent summers living with a prof, getting R & B free, as well as music lessons, in exchange for childcare and errand boy. Most definitely, speak to college personnel. You might be able to live in corm in exchange for work.</p>
<p>In my former city, families would advertise for a student to live with them in exchange for 15-20 hours of childcare. Have you looked at Craig’s list for this?</p>
<p>Nursing homes and ALFs definitely like male CNAs. The training isn’t hard, but does take 6 weeks+.</p>
<p>While you are in a bad situation which has to be scary and disheartening and it is great to be proactive, you may be jumping too far ahead. Summer is still a few months off and the start of your college even further. It is possible that after things cool down, one or both of your parents will relent a little as the time for you to move out approaches and the reality of losing you sets in. After all, they didn’t kick you out immediately, and are supporting you with housing, food, etc until you finish High School. They may agree to let you stay until august when college starts after things calm down. Especially if your being forced out would cause dissention or disappointment in their families. </p>
<p>First, look at what you can do now, while you still have housing costs covered. The idea of dropping some of your extracurricular activities to get a job and earn as much money as possible between now and the start of college is great. What would you need to do that? Do you have transportation available? If it was for a job, would your parents help with transportation? I realize these are tough economic times and getting a job may be difficult. I would think the employers would want you to be around through summer at least to make training you worthwhile. But, at least try this route for now. And don’t forget tutoring, babysitting/homework helper in the neighborhood, shoveling snow and other odd jobs, the nursing home aide route. Anything to make money.</p>
<p>What can you do to either be out of the house more or to lessen the tension when you are home? The less time you are there the easier it will be to get through the next few months. And don’t forget to continue to do any chores that have been your responsibility in the past. No sense giving your parents additional issues to be angry about. </p>
<p>I’d wait a couple of weeks and let things calm down before contacting the school, just so you can more accurately assess how bad this is going to be. At that point, as a National Achievement Scholar, realize that Alabama really wants you, especially if you are male. That’s the reason for the scholarship. I’ll bet they have someone in admissions or the diversity office or whatever assigned to recruit and retain top students like you. This person could become your best ally. Contact them and see what suggestions they can make for summer. They will know the campus and what additional assisstance, jobs, etc may be available for summer.</p>
<p>Since you have been recruited with a top scholarship, does this mean you are admitted to the Honors College? We have found a lot of professors particularly like to use Honors students for babysitters, tutors for their kids, and nannies. You may want to touch base with your contact at the Honors College and make sure they have your name if they hear of a summer opportunity.</p>
<p>This has to be a terrible way to end your High School career and start the next big phase of your life. But, take a deep breathe, pat yourself on the back for doing what it takes to have a really good viable option for next year, evaluate what to do in the short term to both handle immediate issues and still enjoy the last few months of High School. After that, you can begin to tackle next year. Good luck.</p>
<p>I don’t know the details of why your parents decided to disown you, but still, perhaps this story will be something that will help you.</p>
<p>About 15 years ago, one of my students-- African American, son of Caribbean immigrants-- had chosen a full ride National Achievement scholarship at the college where I taught. He did this over the vehement objections of his parents, who told him that he’d “never meet the movers and shakers of the world” at my college, and they also said they would disown him over his decision.</p>
<p>After he made it clear that he was going to my college, they stopped speaking to him, and literally didn’t speak to him for the rest of his senior year.</p>
<p>Since he didn’t turn 18 until July, he had to tell the college that they’d need to wait until July to get his signature on his acceptance because his parents wouldn’t sign.</p>
<p>The college did that. His parents refused to drive him to college, so he had to find his own ride. </p>
<p>In college, the student became one of the top students in the college’s history. This included his twice meeting the president of the U.S. He graduated with several job offers with excellent pay at prestigious companies.</p>
<p>Long before he graduated, his parents had reconciled with him. They even threw him a graduation party in which his father publicly apologized for trying to steer him to a different college.</p>
<p>My former student remains happy that he stood by his own principles even though in the short term it led to a very painful time with his parents. </p>
<p>Regardless of what your parents are threatening now, there’s a good chance that their behavior won’t continue forever.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, do you still keep in touch with the former student from the school where you taught? Sounds like he could be one heck of a mentor to the OP.</p>
<p>Yes, I keep in touch with him, and even saw him a few weeks ago. He’s now in his early 30s, and we are friends. I wouldn’t, though, feel comfortable asking him to mentor a person who is completely anonymous to me. I think the OP’s best chance of getting a mentor would be to talk candidly to the admissions office at the college where he plans to go. They could help connect him with a professor or an alum who could be supportive.</p>
<p>The good news is that you have a great scholarship package. So you need to find a place to live and a part time job now and a full time job in the summer. Talk with someone at your high school – perhaps the school counselor or psychologist – or guidance – or principal – and see if one of them can help you get set up in a living situation for the summer. Or contact someone at the college – not sure who – student affairs? – and ask the same. Regardless, you are going to need that job, and you should start setting that up immediately, no matter where you decide to live. Once at school, work study or part time job. </p>
<p>I’m sorry you are going through this and hope your family comes around, but you are thinking it through, asking for help here, and I have a feeling you are going to land on your feet. Sometimes we try too hard to go it alone without asking for help. It’s wonderful how often people come through for us. Good luck!</p>
<p>As long as you are not limited by geography, why not look at some of these jobs: [CoolWorks.com</a> - Summer Jobs and Seasonal Jobs in Great Places](<a href=“http://www.coolworks.com/]CoolWorks.com”>http://www.coolworks.com/)</p>
<p>bumppppppppppppppp</p>
<p>Will Alabama allow you to start college this summer instead of the fall? They surely have some dorms open for summer students and graduate students and if you talk to the dean of the Honors College about what has happened to you, I really think they will be able to help you. My D and I attended the Capstone Scholars weekend in January and even though the school is not a fit for her, I was really impressed with how genuine the deans were in wanting to move heaven and earth to get talented students to come.
Please let us all know how this turns out for you.</p>
<p>bump…</p>