<p>Looking for gift ideas for my daughter who will be attending a Bat Mitzvah for a close friend. I know that this is a big milestone and want to get an appropriate and meaningful gift but have no clue. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks.</p>
<p>Multiples of $18…are common practice…</p>
<p>Judaica necklace; in silver…I don’t have a website handy but if you google it, abundant options…</p>
<p>Unless you have a local store that would sell it…</p>
<p>second the multiple of $18. not sure of your area, but in northern NJ, $36 typical for friend, maybe $54 if better friend and/or parents know the girl. I would probably shy away from judaica necklace, as she will probably get that from older family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc). There are money holder cards at most large card stores (can even get them in dollar stores in NYC!)</p>
<p>I think Bat Mizvah gifts are right up there with First Communion ones (look for that thread). Leave the religious items to close family and the synagogue. The Bat Mitzvah girl will get plenty of these things.</p>
<p>I agree that money in multiples of 18 would be nice. Perhaps you could put it in a cute little wallet or little purse (with a note on the outside to look INSIDE).</p>
<p>I’m so glad I asked because I have never heard of the multiple of $18. What is the significance of this number?</p>
<p>From Wikipedia:</p>
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<p>^^^ Chai means life.</p>
<p>As far as I know most people give money. If you a considerate of traditions, give them in multiple of 18. But any reasonalbe amount is OK.</p>
<p>Here’s why “chai” means “life.” Every consonant in the Hebrew alphabet has a number assigned to it, in sequence. If we did that in English, it would be a=1, b=2, c=3 and so on.
A group of Jewish scholars who lived in the community of Safed/Tz’fat up near the Sea of Galilee in Israel, around the 12th-14th centuries, developed a large body of literature called Gematria. Some was very mystical and from them comes Kaballah, popular in this century again. Gematria proposes interpretations of key Hebrew words in the Bible. They play with the numerical equivalents of each letter of the word.</p>
<p>The Hebrew word, “life” is spelled with 2 consonant letters ( chet and yud). Chet comes 8th in the alphabet, yud comes l0th. Together, they make the number l8, so “chai” l8 is well-understood by Bat Mitzva age as wishing someone a good, healthy long life. </p>
<p>For a while I thought we did this to improve the math-adding abilities of preteens, so they’d add up their gifts with l8, 36, 54 and not just round up to 5’s and l0’s. J/K.</p>
<p>Sometimes people wear a necklace with those 2 Hebrew letters, but if it gets turned backwards it spells “Yich” instead of “Chai.” This teaches young girls to be careful of their jewelry. J/K. (I sound like Kristin Wiig here.)</p>
<p>All that said, I do not agree that friends should feel bound to give cash gifts. Some people feel odd giving cash gift to a close friend. So, if you prefer to give any other gift that a preteen girl would like, that’s also very nice. Something related to her education is appropriate, since Bat Mitzvah is an educational achievement along with coming-of-age, to master enough language and prayers to lead the service and read from Torah in Hebrew.</p>
<p>So I don’t know…your D and she are close friends. If you want to do more than cash or instead of cash, given the friendship, you could stop over to the Judaica shop of their synagogue and I’ll suggest a few things I never see given these days, that I wish were: if you already know this girl will wear a skulllcap/kipa for the service (the girls can ask each other), buy her another one! You can figure the synagogue and family will take care of some essential ritual objects (candlesticks, winecup, challah cover) so don’t get those. You might find a small papercut piece of framed art, the size of a greeting card, that would go up nicely in her bedroom. You can ask her Mom if anyone’s yet planned to frame the Bat Mitzva invitation, and if not, ask if you can do that. A bracelet with the girl’s Hebrew name, or just a drop with the first letter of her name in Hebrew alphabet would be nice. (One girl can tell the other the name of the letter; write it down by its English sounds and take that to the shop; it might be “chet” or “shin” or “dalet” whatever. It’ll sound strange to you but not to the shop manager.) Earrings with any theme of Jewish identity, as found in a Judaica shop, are great; or if she’s musical, anything with a music note or clef is appropriate, as she might be singing some of the service.</p>
<p>Anything and everything from modern Israel is appropriate, including some beauty products by Ahava, bath salts from the Dead Sea, a small book of modern Israeli recipes with a few spices. Ask your D if the friend ever listens to CD’s not ipod only; if she does use some CD’s you can find a modern Israeli pop or fusion band at a music outlet or online. I don’t know who to suggest today, except to say that Israeli music is very vibrant with many new bands.</p>
<p>If she’s precocious about literature, try a book of poetry by Yehuda Amichai, translated into English. He’s classic; or the more recent Dahlia Ravikovitch, Hovering at a Low Altitude. Those are seriously intellectual, so it depends on the young lady. Or: Jonathan Saffron Foer’s “The New American Hagaddah” just out this year for Passover, has many modern comments by Lemony Snicket and others. It’s lighter, appealing and she can add quips to her family’s seder next year.</p>
<p>I have given jewelry to girls I knew ten years, families close. Also, sports bag. Hot books at that time were the Potter series and Tolkien series. A close friend asked for stock, so he got one share. Boy gifts included signed sports figures and computer games. Nowadays, I’d consider I-tunes gift certificates.</p>
<p>I have sons. However, when they went to Bat Mitzvahs, besides money in multiples of 18, we also gave gift cards (I-tunes, Barnes & Noble or to a local boutique that specializes in fashionable clothing, accessories, scarves, etc. or any local or chain type of girl’s accessory store…a jewelry box is nice…travel cases for luggage…you get the idea!</p>
<p>Gift cards/certificates, savings bonds or even a few shares of stock, and jewelry are common gifts.</p>
<p>Now I have some ideas for when we go shopping this weekend. Thanks. I appreciate it.</p>
<p>I believe in giving charitable gifts in honor of the bar/bat mitzvah. This is a favorite of mine for that occasion: [Seeds</a> of Peace](<a href=“http://www.seedsofpeace.org/]Seeds”>http://www.seedsofpeace.org/)</p>
<p>Very, very simple.</p>
<p>You buy a bat mitzvah card, you write “blah blah congrats”, you give an $18 Best Buy gift card.</p>
<p>Not too fancy, not too bad - it’s the most appropriate gift choice.</p>
<p>Where I live, it is very unusual for peers to give one another money. Gift cards, books, music, jewelry, yes, but money, not so much. The money came from relatives (along with enough jewelry to set up a branch of Tiffany’s).</p>
<p>My daughters received as gifts from peer friends about the same types of gifts one would expect 13 year-olds to exchange for birthdays. Gift cards, inexpensive jewelry, even Bath & Beauty Works stuff. The “going rate” for birthdays here was, at the time, about $15-$20; some kids spent a bit more on the bat mitzvah gift and some did not. As guests, my daughters liked to give their girl friends jewelry (sometimes Judaic) and the boys (tougher to shop for), they defaulted to gift cards (Amazon).</p>
<p>In parts of the country where the kids spend 7th grade going to one another’s b’nai mitzvah every single weekend, I think cash gifts might be more the norm. Perhaps because, frankly, it’s a PITA to shop for gifts constantly. </p>
<p>Most of my daughters’ peer guests were not Jewish. Those who were, typically, we knew from synagogue and the entire family was invited. When we attend b’nai mitzvah as a family, the gift is from us, the adults; this was pretty much the experience of my daughters as gift recipients as well. These families tended to give gifts of either Judaica (often jewelry) or cash.</p>
<p>My girls did end up with a lot of jewelry! (We started giving girls stained glass jewelry boxes from a Judaica shop. We knew they’d need them.)</p>
<p>Cash gifts are traditional and around here are certainly the most common, including from other kids. I don’t think it’s a matter of convenience as much as the fact that people are aware that many kids choose to donate a portion of their gifts to a charity of their choice, and/ or invest in a college or savings fund.</p>
<p>Around here, where kids do go to bnai mitzvah every weekend (and sometimes multiples in one weekend!), it’s unusual for them to give money. Adults give money. Kids give gifts - gift cards and jewelry are the norm for bat mitzvah. We tended to stock up during shopping trips if we knew how many parties she was likely to be invited to!</p>
<p>If the bat or bar mitzvah was a close friend, my daughter would often buy something more personal for her or him, knowing the child’s taste and interests.</p>
<p>My d was a dancer, and the best gift she got for her bat mitzvah was a gift certificate for some private dance classes.</p>
<p>We always give money and a small gift for the child to enjoy immediately.</p>