BBQ so good it's worth risking your life to get it???

Parent Cafe
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<p>So, my ds and a friend, like many college kids, have been unable to find summer work. Thus they’ve developed some new hobbies–fishing and barbecue. They’ve recently been able to pick up some construction work so they’ve finally got some money in their pockets. </p>

<p>They have driven to Chicago a couple of times to meet ds’s girlfriend. Last time they were in Chicago they found a bbq place called Uncle John’s. It’s at E. 69th and Calumet Ave.(for any Chicagoans that might have some info) They loved it. They said it was phenomenal. It was cheap, it was good, and the portions were ginormous. </p>

<p>They also loved that it was in this really gritty, urban area. They loved the bars on the windows. They loved the lazy susan turntable that spun the food out the window so that there was never an opening in the bullet proof glass. They loved that they didn’t see another white face anywhere. They loved the cook and the way he talked. They asked him for t-shirts, and he told them to come back in September. </p>

<p>The thing is, I don’t want to discourage my boys from wandering off the beaten path, or stepping out of their comfort zone, but are they doing something completely stupid? We live in a smallish city so he doesn’t have a lot of street smarts. When they first told me about it I just shrugged it off, but the more they talk about it, the more it’s clear they don’t really grasp the idea that there are actually dangerous neighborhoods. They love describing everything about it, but it’s like they’re talking about a movie. The place is just take-out with no seating or picnic tables, so they found a nearby school and sat on the steps eating bbq. They found the startled looks they got from people passing by very amusing. </p>

<p>Anyway, they want to go back before school starts again. What would you say to your kid? Is it fine as long as they go during the day? </p>

<p>I pulled up the Chicago police dept. crime incident map for that police district and printed off the crimes for the first week of August. It’s six pages long. I thought maybe I should show him that and let him make the decision. </p>

<p>I feel like I’m in this weird parenting limbo, because no question I would not let my high school kid make that trip, but he’s in college. I can tell him not to go, and then a week from now when he’s back at school he might go anyway. It seems like a bit of folly to forbid things at this age, and really, I’d rather have him develop his own logic and common sense approach to this stuff. Or maybe I should just slash his tires.</p>

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<p>Well…when my kids go out to dinner, I usually have no idea where they are heading. I’d say…they are college students…let them make the decision of where to go.</p>

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<p>“Bring me back two racks and a side of slaw.”</p>

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<p>My first thought is that a place of business with bulletproof glass has probably been robbed before ( something that can happen in any neighborhood)
[Local</a> News | Robber shoots, kills Ballard store clerk | Seattle Times Newspaper](<a href=“http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2009543271_ballardshooting27m.html]Local”>http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2009543271_ballardshooting27m.html)</p>

<p>My daughter went to high school in the inner city and while non residents certaining experience robbery, violence is more often among people that know each other.</p>

<p>I am not a BBQ fan but it sounds like for those who are this place is worth it being out of their way a little
[Uncle</a> John’s BBQ - Greater Grand Crossing - Chicago, IL](<a href=“http://www.yelp.com/biz/uncle-johns-bbq-chicago]Uncle”>http://www.yelp.com/biz/uncle-johns-bbq-chicago)</p>

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<p>Well they already made the decision once and I’m sure they wouldn’t be dissuaded by my objections if they want to go again. I’m just wondering if I should try to talk to them about safety in Chicago. I asked them this morning, “What do you do if somebody decides to rob you and wants your wallet?'” Friend says, “You give it to them”. Good answer! My ds says, “I don’t have a wallet.” I said, “Yes you do.” He said, “Yeah but they don’t know that.” Bad answer!</p>

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<p>Yes, Uncle John’s gets rave reviews. I’ll just send them on their way and hope for the best.</p>

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<p>I’d talk to them about being smart about it. Don’t drive a fancy car, don’t pull out a wad of cash to pay, don’t wear expensive clothes, etc. In other words, don’t look like they have money. Personally, I don’t have a problem with any of it, except just sitting around on school steps eating. I’m assuming they’re Anglo. In the “bad” parts of town I visit, often Anglos are only there to buy drugs, so hanging in the area could lead to trouble.</p>

<p>Also, I know you don’t mean to sound like this, but hearing that they are amused describing this “movie-like” experience sounds a little obnoxious when those are streets where real people live, and bars on windows and bulletproof glass are a necessity. If they can take away more from their experience than just cheap BBQ, it would be good.</p>

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<p>Well that’s what I found disturbing about it–the detatched amusement. It was like they didn’t understand that people actually live and work there.</p>

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<p>We’ve travelled a fair amount and I’ve always tried to encourage curiosity for how other people live, but also instill respect in them. There was a quote in Harriet The Spy that went something like–there are as many different ways to live as there are people in this world, and each one of them deserves a closer look.</p>

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<p>And THAT’S the kind of attitude that could get them in trouble. Maybe a little heart-to-heart is in order.</p>

<p>ETA: We cross posted. The attitude to which I was referring was in post 8, not Harriet the Spy’s! :)</p>

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<p>I knew what you meant–and yes, I think that attitude could get them in trouble. My ds’s friend is one of those very charming, funny kids that sometimes pushes it a little too far. </p>

<p>I also posted this question on Tripadvisor hoping to hear from some locals, and for the most part they’re suggesting other places. Definitely saying not to go there at night. They also say the problem isn’t the place itself, but that you might get lost in the area and really end up in trouble.</p>

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<p>If the inner city is exotic and interesting to them- perhaps they would enjoy The Wire
[Commentary:</a> Growing up in the world of ‘The Wire’ - CNN.com](<a href=“http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/12/22/the.wire/index.html]Commentary:”>Commentary: Growing up in the world of 'The Wire' - CNN.com)</p>

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<p>I think it’s fine to go perhaps during daylight hours or at least with some of the street smarts already suggested. (Speaking as someone who got mugged near Watts Towers in broad daylight.) I have fond memories of a place we used to go in LA. DH innocently asked if they had beef ribs, and got the reply, “There’s only one kind of ribs white boy, and that’s pork.” Still makes me smile. Dh still has a fondness for beef ribs though! In any event you can’t stop them.</p>

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<p>They should spend more time in such places. Become regulars and bring friends, city businesses need the money.</p>

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<p>I agree, electronblue, which is why I didn’t try to dissuade them from going. Just be smart – and respectful.</p>

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<p>I guess we have a split decision because the Chicagoans on Tripadvisor say send them somewhere else. I think I’m going to just give them the information that I have.</p>

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<p>I think it all depends on point of view. I live in a place a lot of people wouldn’t live but I personally feel safe. We have some awesome, authentic, hole in the wall type restaurants for a lot less money than you’d spend in the suburbs. I also think it’s a good idea for kids to learn street smarts and develop a sixth sense for when things don’t feel right. Talk to them about being smart but these are adults we’re talking about so they’re going to make their own decisions.</p>

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<p>I think the people on trip advisors might be afraid to venure out of their comfort zones and may have preconceived notions about “that part of town.” But, truly, I don’t know the area, so maybe they’re right. I only know that there are places we frequent that others in my town might be afraid to only because they’re in the “bad part” of town. They’re missing out, but, hey, more gumbo for me.</p>

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<p>I know what you’re saying, and I don’t want to raise kids who are fearful of anything different than what they already know. On the other hand, I don’t want them to be naive about the world and the dangers it presents. I realized that most of ds’s travels have been with me, and that while I might be always vigilant and assessing every situation, I’m not necessarily talking about that while I’m doing it. I think whether he keeps going to this place or not, I’ve discovered a gap in my parenting and I think I need to pass on a little more information.</p>

<p>One of the Chicagoans sent me this link, and it does give you pause to think you’re sending your kid into the same area for a snack. </p>

<p>[Gunfire</a> cuts short life of promising college-bound teen - Chicago Breaking News](<a href=“Chicago Breaking News - Chicago Tribune - Chicago Tribune”>Chicago Breaking News - Chicago Tribune - Chicago Tribune)</p>

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<p>believe me I know where you are coming from Helenback</p>

<p>My younger daughter attended high school in the Central District of Seattle. While my mother had attended the same high school, over the years it has struggled with encroaching crime.
A young man was killed outside the community center next to the school and another injured last fall. </p>

<p>Open drug deals go on 24/7 and the immediate area is the target for intensive intervention
[SPD</a> Blotter New strategy aims to reduce street drug dealing](<a href=“http://spdblotter.seattle.gov/2009/08/07/new-strategy-aims-to-reduce-street-drug-dealing/]SPD”>New strategy aims to reduce street drug dealing - SPD Blotter)</p>

<p>That said- it is not necessarily the * residents* of the area committing these crimes and the neighborhood is lively and needs to be supported not feared. </p>

<p>I also understand about naivete getting kids into trouble. While my older daughter attended a private school about 10 blocks away from her sisters school , she didn’t have what I would view as appropriate responses to unexpected situations.</p>

<p>Most of the time she got to school by private car, either myself, or a classmate, and she didn’t have time to go other than around the immediate area.</p>

<p>However, once while she & I were walking in the evening ( kinda lost- we had taken the wrong bus on the way home from a baseball game and got off as soon as I realized it) in a pretty deserted & sketch area, a car full of gangbangers drove slowly by, catcalling.</p>

<p>Her response was to stand in the middle of the street flipping them off and calling them names.
:eek:
They stopped their car- just stared at her and thankfully moved on.</p>

<p>But after that- I made sure she understood that even though you may want to do something like that-it is far from prudent.
.
I also worried to death when my younger daughter wanted to go abroad ( to India) this past winter. Because * she was* comfortable in her high school neighborhood , I worried that she was over confident of her ability to handle unexpected situations, because of the neighborhoods reputation.</p>

<p>I wasn’t going to be there to bail her out, and she probably would be in situations where no one even spoke English. But I have tried to raise my kids to learn how to make good decisions, even though one of the ways you learn how not to make bad ones, is by experiencing the results. All we can do is try and make sure they have the information they need or where to find it.</p>

<p>From what I hear, Chicago is much different than Seattle- the " inner city" of Seattle isn’t really that " gritty" and you don’t have the racial/economic segregation to the same extent as Chicago.</p>

<p>When my older daughter was volunteering in Chicago with Americorps for example , she was working with a group of African American teens, however for some reason, their assignment was to clean up graffiti at a bus shelter in a Hispanic neighborhood.
The kids were scared to death. ( there weren’t any incidents)</p>

<p>How we learn best is by personal experience, but that doesn’t mean we can’t pass on our own or help our kids reflect on what to do next time.</p>

<p>Ya know what they say about an ounce of prevention.</p>