<p>“A former New Hartford hockey standout has been charged in the death of his girlfriend inside McLean Hall at the SUNY College at Brockport in western New York.”</p>
<p>“Clayton Whittemore, 21, a Utica College student, was charged with second-degree murder in the beating death of the Brockport student — also believed to be from New Hartford — inside the residence hall, authorities announced in a news conference Saturday afternoon.”</p>
<p>I work at a DV shelter/crisis line near a college town. I often get calls from parents of students who are concerned about their child’s relationship being abusive. I’m always terrified that I’ll read about one of them in the paper. I’ve already seen one former client in the paper. It was a punch to the stomach. </p>
<p>My heart goes out to that woman’s family. I will never, ever understand how someone can hurt another person. Let alone someone you love. Never.</p>
<p>Did it say that no one heard it (if so, I missed it, so I’m legitimately asking)? You’d be amazed at what we as a society can be come selectively deaf to.</p>
<p>I would assume if someone is getting beaten to death then there must be a lot of noise. Hard for me to believe people would ignore cry for help.</p>
<p>What a beautiful girl. Such a tragedy. It breaks my heart every time I read a story like this. The article I read printed some of the tweets exchanged by Alex and her boyfriend in the past few weeks. Her last one was at 12:15 a.m. and said “Should’ve known”.It also said that her mother contacted authorities when she couldn’t reach her daughter on her cell phone. I wonder if Alex had tried to call or text her that something was wrong. It makes me feel so sick thinking about what her mother must have been going through at that point. I will never understand why boys and men can be so violent to those they love.</p>
<p>The dorm walls at Brockport aren’t exactly soundproof- cinderblock, like at most schools. Either the rooms around the girl’s were empty or the monster silenced her someway.
So many kids have no idea what a healthy relationship is now and a lot of women are still afraid to report abuse or think that it is somehow their fault. Courts don’t listen and even if they do, a restraining order is only a piece of paper. Schools and families often know of violent streaks in young men, yet choose to ignore them, as was the case of the lacrosse player in Virginia.
My D has a lot of middle and high school classmates who attend SUNY Brockport and she told me that this has been very hard on them and the whole campus. Her FB page has been filled with posts about the tragedy. It’s a college town about a 30 minute drive from Rochester, but other than some rowdy parties on weekends, violent crime is pretty much unknown.</p>
<p>I think if I had a D, I would buy her some kind of large dog that was trained to protect her and encourage her to keep the dog with her as much as she could. </p>
<p>What goes on in these guy’s heads that they think that they can hit/beat up/kill another person?</p>
<p>They’re playing a sport that condones violence and participants get to practice it on a regular basis. We should get a better picture of this guy in the weeks and months ahead.</p>
<p>This is utterly horrific. I can’t fathom losing a child, particularly so young, and in this manner. It is painful enough to lose a child to illness or by accident but at another’s hand is unfathomable. Abusive relationships are a true problem. This is so heartbreaking for her family and friends.</p>
<p>“I think campuses generally are safe,” said Matthew Burns, dean of students at the University of Rochester, where Jeffrey Bordeaux Jr. was fatally stabbed by Darren Venable during a fight at a campus fraternity house in 2011. Venable was found by a judge to have acted in self-defense.
“This is entirely anomalous for Brockport, as it was for us,” Burns said. “I’m quite sure that Brockport, as we did as an institution, will look at the incident and figure out is there any way we could do better. I doubt they will find anything wrong.
“Occasionally, bad things happen everywhere.”</p>
<p>The U of R dean is quick to start the circling of the wagons. How does he know whether or not SUNY Brockport did anything wrong? Too soon to make that call!</p>
<p>BC, do not blame the sport. I’ve met literally hundreds of hockey players. They’re not violent off the ice. I think any insinuation that his sport had anything to do with this is way off the mark.</p>
<p>Well said Romanigypsyeys.
The problem is not the sport of hockey. The problem here is that this person chose to be violent. Hockey did not make him violent.</p>
<p>BC - he doesn’t play anymore - he’s not on his college team, he’s just known for having played in high school. Perhaps some hockey players are brutal, but the same can be said of many sports. Most know that what is appropriate on the ice is not the same as what is appropriate off the ice.</p>
<p>It seems to me that there is plenty of blame to be spread around, but we don’t know the details. It was a Friday night, and someone who lives a couple of blocks from the campus said it was very quiet Saturday night, which obviously contrasts with a typical weekend night. Perhaps it was noisy in the dorm that night, or perhaps nobody was in the adjoining rooms to hear anything. If someone was there, you would hope they would have done something, but we’re also talking about a Freshman dorm - how many 17 or 18-year olds do you know who would know how to intervene? She was found after her mother contacted the school, so it sounds like she wasn’t found by her roommate but maybe by a staff member or (hopefully not) an RA sent to check on her.</p>
<p>The boyfriend admits some level of responsibility, but plead not guilty - not unusual at all. Being responsible is not the same as being guilty of murder. Just the same, if he left the scene and didn’t try to get help for her, after accidentally hurting her (they way he may see it), he is just as guilty. That’s the part that sickens me - maybe it was an accident, but then get her some help, don’t drive away! Maybe she would still be alive if he had finally done the right thing.</p>