Ok I know I shouldn’t be using social media as an out let but seriously have no one to talk to about this. No one understands; Not my brother, sister, parents, friends or co workers. After I left high school it seemed like everything was coming together, financial aid was going through and my workload outside of school was light. Then the whole shitfest began. Because I turned 18 my mom lost child support for me and all she had was a little money from her job and for my little sister, who at the time was 16. Because of the shortage in money I picked up more hours at the McDonald’s I worked at, my sister found enployment at the neighboring kfc and my mom picked up a second job as a security guard at concerts. The more work I took on the harder school became to maintain. It also didn’t help that I had to fight my bosses for a schedule that would coincide with school. Soon my grades dropped to a 2.9 and for some reason financial aid wanted a 3.0. So that left. I continued to do online school for a year. Sometimes in a Starbucks parking lot after hours because they had wifi and there were no wifi spots close to my house/couldn’t afford Internet. I had to venture to differnt Starbucks sometimes because people would see me loitering in the parking lot and call the cops. Any ways finished the classes all of us got evicted from our place despite the work and moved into a small 1 bedroom apartment. We lived there for a year, then my sister turned 18 and my mom lost her child support and we got evicted again. My sister needed a car so I gave her mine and was working 3 jobs and bought my own. Big mistake . It was brand new and 400$ a month, idkay wth I was thinking. Anyways we moved into our brothers small one bedroom place that he owned. Thank god because we probably would have been homeless because no one wants to sign a lease to people who’ve been evicted 2x. Despite the situation got a new job and worked hard to get promoted. Got promoted. Then failed the sales training course. The trainers main comment to me was that I was niaeve and knew little about the world. Anyways felt stupid so out my self back in college. Luckily didn’t get fired but still hurts to have somone basically tell your superiours, such as my boss who later relayed her words to me in private, that I’m not cut out for a sales job because I’m not smart. I lost it. Been busting my ass now to get into ucsd my gpa is a 3.5 and my full time work schedule has been conflicting with school. I also work part time as a stripper because my mom and dad are up to thier eyeballs in debt. I’m pushing 23 and if I was fired today from my job I have no degree, no plans and no idea what I will do with my life. My only plan is to get into ucsd and figure it out there… This needs to work or idkay what’s going to happen. Almost broke down in class today to my professor begging him to let me stay in his class despite me getting in 15 min late from work. He was cool and nice about it but it makes me sad I always have to beg people to help me . Idkay …guys guess I’m just want everything to turn out good. Was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and chronic nightmares/insomnia last year and need at least 8 pills to make it through the day without turning into a crying mess. Idkay guys any advise or words? Just stressed needed to vent , I’m sorry
I know the frustration and pain of not knowing what you want to do with your life, and not having the slightest clue of what is in your future. I am 20 and about to move out of my parents house and am very scared but still excited. I have no clue what the future holds for me but the best advice I can give to you is to talk to God about it. If you aren’t religious then try looking up meditation and practice that. Those have been the most important things that I have learned when trying to keep my head up. I once heard from a girl that when you’re at your lowest point and you accept/embrace your struggles, that is when you know God is about to bless you. Everyday I pray to God, asking him to show me my path and what I was put here to do. I wish you nothing but the best, and try to find positivity in even the smallest things. God bless.
never been in a situation like that so it’s not my place to give advice. i can however say that if you get through this, you have quite a story to tell.
I’m sorry, but can you stop typing “idkay”…kind of distracting from what you are saying, and not necessary to type…
Anyway, I’m very sorry about your situation. That sounds so horrible, I can’t even imagine. I am also the same age as you, and have spent five years in community college. Luckily, I have finally figured out what I’m doing, and will be transferring in two years. I used to work, which also conflicted with my school schedule and prolonged everything else. I spent five years changing majors, not caring about school, dropping classes, taking classes I didn’t need, etc. It really sucks.
Do you know what kind of things you are interested in doing? Or why UC San Diego? UC San Diego is a competitive school, but your GPA seems high anyway. Have you heard of the TAG program? UC San Diego recently stopped participating in it, but it’s also a good alternative if you decided a different school.