It’s great that you’ve written this book - wish it had been available when my kids were applying 6 years ago - there wasn’t as much information out there as I had hoped. I don’t have a question per se but figured this was a good place to post for those who might benefit from it.
I hope you covered the topic of “getting kicked out”. I don’t have the energy to mount a crusade… But maybe posting here will help someone, somewhere. One of my kids was kicked out for an alcohol violation at a place with a “0 strikes” policy and I am here to warn parents that this situation is so much worse than it even sounds like on the surface. It’s one thing to have to leave your friends, teachers, teammates, etc. mid-year. But often times, finding another option for school that creates a seamless transition is impossible (as you have no advance notice) - which impacts things like being able to take AP exams. But even more significant is the impact on college admissions. Almost every school (even the shoe-in in state safety - in our case, 100% of the places kid has applied) requires that you disclose that you were asked to leave, and the circumstances behind it. This kicks off a process where your application has additional scrutiny and sometimes a background check (which for us isn’t a problem except that it adds time). Not just for undergraduate (and transfers), but for grad/professional school admissions, study aboard programs, fellowships, etc. The impact of this is not only psychological (how many times and for how many years later do I have to talk about this). If you’ve already applied to or gotten in places, you have to notify them and your admission decision can be changed. It is impossible to know how this impacts how you are viewed, but in our case, I firmly believe it led to our kid not getting into places that should have been “likely” admissions. Our kid (with a perfect test score, rigorous course load and a reasonable GPA) did not get in ANYWHERE initially. Kid was offered a spot off a few waitlists from “likely” schools in the summer after, but imagine graduating and not having a single acceptance.
You never think you’ll be in the situation where this happens, until you are (those underdeveloped frontal lobes!). And because the schools don’t disclose why someone gets kicked out, you almost have to make sure you’re shouting from the rooftops what happened so that you aren’t assumed to have SA someone, cheated, had a major drug offense, etc. One dumb decision can have so many consequences at a boarding school that wouldn’t ruffle a feather were the kid not at boarding school.
In summary - make sure you’re looking at the school’s disciplinary process and policies closely. There were many positive parts of boarding for my kid, but this experience had very significant, long lasting implications which far outweighed any benefits from the boarding school experience.