Ever since I started college and taken my first midterm, I have been called a “curve killer” or “grade destroyer” or something else along those lines. I usually score between a 95 and 100 on all my midterms and finals, and the average is usually between 40 and 60. I transferred from community college to an engineering college and only take engineering classes, same story at the cc. I have become the student that other students compare themselves to grade-wise, but does not care about. If they failed, they would repeatedly ask me what I got on my exam. When I finally tell them, some would get upset and others would joke about it, but I just feel isolated. At first it was fun to have this kind of attention. I was the “smart” kind in my engineering classes. Now it seems that I have pushed people away from me. I am a loner of sorts, I study alone, eat alone, and generally sit alone at school. I occasionally talk to people to ask questions if I do not understand something, but I mainly keep to myself. It just seems that the better I do, the more people think that I feel “superior” to them in some form. I actually have the opposite feeling. I strangely do well on tests, even though I mostly have no clue what I am studying. I seem to have some kind of issue with applying the theory. That is why I usually have my lab partner do all the physical stuff and I do the theoretical. I just feel stunted in that way. I despise engineering as my major, I had no other options financially, but seem to have found a way to understand how to take engineering tests. It won’t help me in the real world, so I feel “left behind” even though I am doing well academically. Has anyone else felt this way? I would just like to have a discussion concerning this issue.
Well, there is a saying “it’s lonely at the top.” But it does not have to be.
A really good teacher won’t let a single outlier wreck a curve, so I would say that’s on her/him, not you. As for your classmates, most people respond well to someone who has confidence, is generous in their comments, and genuinely takes an interest in seeing other people do well. Be self-effacing. They may respond well to it. But don’t ever apologize for doing well. And start sitting with someone at lunch, at least on occasion.
With regard to application of the theory, I’m no engineer (brother is, though) but I suspect it will come to you. Try to give it some time, and try to be at peace with the fact that you are getting it, when it is so difficult for so many others!
This is why I stopped openly sharing my grades with random classmates. If they pressure me I just lie and say I got about 10-15 points lower than my actual score. While making good grades should be nothing to be ashamed of, it’s none of anyone else’s business how well or poorly you do, especially if whoever is asking is just a judgmental stranger looking to boost their own egos. I solved my own problem by forming a friend group with people who do not belong to my major. I don’t feel like I’m competing with them, and if I tell them what I got on my exam or something, they congratulate me instead of rage with envy.
Thanks, I have been told on many occasions that my confidence was something that I needed to work on. I have always been a loner, I am just more comfortable that way. The people at my school are generally nice. Concerning the engineering major, I am actually counting the days until I get to leave. I just don’t fit in. I go to smaller, but respectable, engineering school, so everyone knows everyone in the engineering class. They work on problems together, go to lunch together, etc. Ever since I started, I haven’t really made any friends or even acquaintances, just classmates. I have tried to go to lunch with them, but felt strangely uncomfortable, such as social anxiety. I have very different interests and have no tangible interest in engineering, unlike the rest of the class. I have tried to fake this interest because I am on scholarship and everyone in my family is so happy about it, but I am becoming more and more frustrated with my academic decisions. I decided to write this because we received our grades for a midterm and the average was a 55. I received a 98, which is great, but people were so upset about it, and it was mainly directed at me. For many people, they would not care and just go about their day. I am strangely sensitive to this subject and feel bad about it, even though I should not. It is almost like they are waiting for me to fail a test or something. The classes are small, such as 20 people at most, which is great, but it is so tight-knit and I don’t fit in.
To btledfo: You are absolutely correct about not sharing grades with people anymore, but they were not strangers at first. They were people I thought would be friends at some point. At first it was fun to share my grades because everyone else was sharing theirs. I would help people find out what went wrong with their test and help them understand it better. Since the classes are so small, I knew them from being in the same class for the most part. You start to become friendly with people over time. It has started recently that people have become a little more hostile towards me, maybe since we are all trying to get internships? I also observed that the people in my class are becoming more competitive and treat me like I know all the answers and want to be my lab partner because then they will “get a good grade,” which is false for the most part. It just makes for an annoying college experience, I need to get over it though and move on.
This thread seems sort of unnecessary (getting A’s in engineering classes is hardly a “problem”); you aren’t obligated to tell people your grades and if these are the type of people who alienate you over an A, you don’t want to be their friend anyway.
This is the weirdest humblebragging thread I’ve ever read. Curves aren’t usually affected by statistical outliers such as your case… and why do you need to tell others your scores anyway?
@btledfo haha, I do that as well. Usually I say I got a B unless I know the majority of the scores were A’s.
I’m not sure that it is humblebragging or unnecessary. OP has raised the subject of social anxiety (which can be debilitating) as well as “no tangible interest” in his major. These are two issues that need to be addressed by him, and counseling may be the most appropriate way to do that.
I wouldn’t worry about breaking the curve or setting a reputation as a “curve-breaker.” Be grateful that you have the level of intelligence to get such high scores on your exams.
I see more than high scores here. I see a student who scores exceptionally well, but feels socially isolated at a small college.
First, I want to be clear of something: Own your talent. People can be jealous.If they could manipulate you into lowering your scores, then they would feel better about themselves. Do not let them get to you, and for goodness sake DO NOT perform less well to be accepted.
College isn’t forever. It’s a few years out of your life. Those scores and that degree could lead to a very good job one say. Do not do anything to jeopardize your future.
You may not love engineering, but with a degree in a tough subject, and a good performance, it can open the door to other opportunities. You don’t know what they are yet, but doing well in school will lead to choices when you graduate.
Your disinterest might also be compounded by loneliness or feeling excluded. People are not all the same in terms of talents. They have different strengths and weaknesses. Students also come to college with different interests and maturity levels. You may genuinely not share the same interests as some of your classmates. That is OK. Usually on a college campus there are different clubs and groups. See any you like? Pick one, just one, and attend it if you can. Maybe a non engineering one: religion, dance, movies, music something you share outside of engineering. Can you make friends who are not in your classes and so are not feeling that they are in competition with you?
Stop discussing grades with anyone who is not genuinely interested in helping you or happy for you. This might mean most people in your classes. Why do they need to know? If it is only to compare themselves with you, then this is no reason to tell them. Do well. As to interest in engineering- many colleges have career centers where you can get advice on what careers are out there. I’m not an engineer, but I would think that the skills needed to be one: math. logical thinking, are applicable to other fields. Some graduate programs will accept students with a BS and the prerequisites, so your strong GPA could be an entry point to some grad programs. Academic success tends to open doors.
Just because outliers do not wreck curves does not mean that is what college students believe. (especially those who struggle with difficult subjects) Some other people may be taking engineering because they see a potential paycheck. They may not have the aptitude or ability, so their scores suffer. Some may just spend too much time partying and it kills their GPA. You getting good scores is not really their problem.
If you really don’t like engineering, switch majors (or double). Another option may have been to attend a school with more smart kids. I would say to just get over it, but I know anxiety can be real. Try to put it in perspective. In a few years you will likely not care what happened in college.
Good luck!
- Some professors will not curve if there is one good score. It doesn't usually happen but it sometimes does and they'll use the reasoning that if somebody could score well then everybody had the opportunity too so it was a fair test.
- The social anxiety is important to note because in most engineering fields you cannot have this attribute. It just isn't possible because you are always working on large scale projects in teams. Most employers care about this aspect much, much more than GPA.
- I can't see most people in a class feeling alienated by a person with high grades or being angry. Even in a class with an average of an F there will be B and C students that you could associate with. I would think the lower scoring students would want to form study groups with you as well not be angry with you.
- Address your social anxiety. Some people have to take medication and it helps them so much.
- Do you want to be friends with these people? On the one hand you indicate you do, but then you don’t want to eat lunch with them because you feel awkward.
- If you do want to make friends, then ask them if they would like to be in a study group. Generally they would because they would like to try to learn your secret.
- I am an engineer and was not keen on the hands on stuff either…don’t worry, there are jobs for you!
I feel your pain. I’ve started saying “I’m happy with my score” when asked what I got. Also offer to study together, if they’re so upset about their own grades.