<p>gutsandglory–you’re wrong about my not knowing what it’s like to to be in terrible pain. I’ve lived it. Two agonizing years of it. I survived. Would never ever want to go thru again nor see anyone else go thru what I lived. </p>
<p>I am serious. If you are in that much despair, you need more help than you can get here. Please seek professional help. It may save your life.</p>
<p>It’s all good, they don’t know. I only do it because it helps me not feel like a failure.</p>
<p>If I had a nickel for every time I heard the whole “love will find me” crap from my friends I would be a millionaire by now. No offense, I thank you and appreciate your advice.</p>
<p>I just have trouble agreeing with it because it doesn’t make sense. I mean I’m just supposed to sit back and watch my friends enjoy themselves? Maybe. Again if that is the case then so be it, I was under the illusion that if I wanted something I should do something about it - but i didnt realize how much pain my
own desires cost me. If I got shot, then I wouldn’t just sit around and hope that “help will find me one day.”</p>
<p>@wowmom: sorry about that then. I didn’t know.</p>
<p>Im going through it right now. I have no desire to kill myself, but I just hate being sad all the time. Therapy hasn’t helped, there needs to be an answer for this dilemma.</p>
<p>^ At one time, one of my friends told me this:</p>
<p>“No matter how bad a situation you are in, there are still many people out there who are in a worse situation than you are in.”</p>
<p>If a person in this state, in one way or another, can find a volunteering opportunity to help those who are even more unfortunate in their fate, it could possibly help him see his blessings, no matter how few blessings he may have.</p>
<p>At one time, Brian Williams at NBC reported many people in Haiti basically eat dirt (cookies made out of dirt) in order to make themselves feel less hungry. You are not worse than these people, aren’t you? Many people in Japan lost their family members overnight and lost almost everything after several natural disasters. Last time I heard about it, most of them still live in the tents. People in New Orlean suffered greatly after Katrina – the poor citizens there, who have no means to leave, worried about not having enough food/water and constantly worried about their personal safety as the whole society was broken for months. WOWM’s D2 met many unfortunate women (many of them are very young girls who have not reached the age of dating yet) in Africa. (WOWM posted it not many weeks ago, I think.)</p>
<p>One of DS’s high school classmates died in Iraq for serving the country. He would be a sophomore if he had attended a college.</p>
<p>I mentioned these not because I think you are not in the worst possible situation. If it turns out there is a chance that the change of the perspective COULD help you a little bit, it is worth the few minutes that I spent on typing this up. Good luck!</p>
<p>BTW, it is well known that smart people are more prone to depression. If you are depressed, it is likely because you are smart – at least smart enough to be depressed :)</p>
<p>D2 did meet many, many unfortunate women and girls in Africa. Many had AIDS or HIV. Some were dying. Some had been sold into sexual slavery as soon as they reach menarche–sold by their families. Think about that. She had 11 year female student violently raped on her way to school–who then got up & walked to school so she wouldn’t miss her lessons. Think about that.</p>
<p>mcat2 is right about this.</p>
<p>No matter how bad off you think you are, there’s someone out there who is worse off than you. </p>
<p>Sometimes it does help to get outside your own head. Dwelling on how bad your life is only makes things worse. Consider getting involved in volunteer activities where you help others less fortunate than you. The mentally or physically disabled. The economically disadvantaged. Kids who need an adult or almost-adult to show them that there’s someone out there who gives a damn about them.</p>
<p>@ wowmom: that’s a really cool experience. I wouldn’t mind working there if you could tell me the organization that does that.</p>
<p>You and MCAT2 are right. I worked at a cancer hospital in India last summer working with cancer patients and saw some pretty awful stuff. My life is better than the 4 year old kid with metastatic bone cancer, it is better than the nun with metastatic breast cancer.</p>
<p>I stayed up half the night thinking about this before sleeping peacefully. I realized that what you feel and what you think doesn’t matter. Whether it is a good or bad feeling makes no difference because it isn’t real. What is real is what you do. Your actions matter and your thoughts do not. That makes me feel at peace. Now I am back on my path to becoming a doctor :).</p>
<p>Also wow mom, no offense but i hope boasting about your daughters isn’t the only thing you talk about. Idk how your friends put up with it but it does get old after a while. That said I do appreciate and thank you for your advice and mean that in a friendly way.</p>
<p>The reason why parents tend to talk somewhat excessively about their children is they do think A LOT about many things related to their children on a daily basis for decades. All of us parents know we should cut the cord sooner or later but it is not an easy task as we are not capable of “unwinding” it as quicky as we would like to.</p>
<p>It is very often that while the parents spend, say, 30-40%, of their time/efforts on their children, their children, at the teen or young adult age, may spend at most 5% of their time/efforts on thinking things related to their parents. I am not complaining, as this might be the way it has been in centuries.</p>
<p>I think your English may be better than mine. If that is the case, can you find a word better than “boasting” or “getting old” but it conveys the same thing? One of DS’s high school friends is very good at picking up a right word which is proper in a given situation. Guess what: Many girls seem to like him a lot in high school, and the last time I heard about him, he had maintained a steady and committed relation since freshmen year at his college. Sweet talk is not flattering, and it matters.</p>
<p>BTW, it is said the EQ of knowing how to talk sweetly is mostly learned in the environment you are growing up. My own parents are not good at this. I am not either. Fortunately, my spouse, who I admit is closer to our S (hey, how many parents here would often play video games with their child from 4 yo to 23 yo?! How cool is that!) is better. Sometimes I wonder whether a reason why DS still does not have a gf is that he got a bad “behavior inheritance” from me – do not know how to sweet-talk :(</p>
<p>Maybe your not as attractive, or in shape as you think? In all honesty a 5 doesn’t equal an 8 or a 9, got some ground to make up… And once again an observation, you have this air of arrogance and rude all throughout your posts. Maybe girls don’t like pot smoking, sulking want to be doctors? That’s always an idea. No offense, but the personality you show off here, is less than attractive to any girl</p>
<p>^ no to boast but I have a 6 pack and have gotten offers for part time modeling. I think that means something.</p>
<p>And due respect I don’t think you know me full enough to judge my drug use. The only reason why I became a " pot using sulking guy" was because for 2.5 years I made every effort to improve myself at this and stay positive with no results while my friends were enjoying success. After 2.5 years you start to question yourself and wonder why your internal and external states don’t match. Maybe you had it easy but I went through hell in high school and confidence has always been a problem for me socially. So don’t assume crap if you don’t know.</p>
<p>@ mcat2: smooth talk - I don’t even know what that constitutes anymore. W/e like you said, there are people who have it off worse.</p>
<p>Talking about the scale of attractiveness, how do you in this young generation think about attractiveness of the guy and gal in this music video? Do they have a better chance of getting bf/gf than a typical premed?</p>
<p><a href=“"Just A Dream" by Nelly - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie - YouTube”>"Just A Dream" by Nelly - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie - YouTube;
<p>BTW, I believe DS was once in the same class as the arranger/producer of this video, Kurt (who is the pianist at the beginning of this video.) He is a math major and is pretty good at that.</p>
<p>This guy reminds me of the poster, kumasutra. Such pleasant personalities and then wonder why they don’t get anywhere in life.</p>
<p>Alot of the postings in this thread do sound like Kamasutra and SouthParkMD.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to hijack your blog either, but how exactly is having “fun” viewed in college? I’m also entering college in the fall.</p>
<p>By “fun” I mean one-nighters…like a no-strings attached kind of thing. That’s how I usually went about high school–I’ve really only had one real serious relationship. I kind of feel the same way as the OP. Relationships are SOOOO time consuming and I’d rather just stick to hook-ups…at least for a little until maybe sophomore year when I settle into college.</p>
<p>One nighters are the most popular type of relationship in college.</p>
<p>@ norcalguy: well I don’t know who they are, but I’m not trying to come off as rude. I apologize if I do, but maybe my recent personality is caused by the fact that I can’t seem to progress in life despite my efforts, instead of the other way around. Before i got really depressed and cynical like i am now, i had a pleasant personality but found that no matter how good of a person you were, it doesnt mean that good things would happen to you. Just something to think about.</p>
<p>It may be best if we move on from this thread.</p>
<p>how exactly do you initiate a one-night encounter? I mean, what do you say to the girl? Nowadays, u hear girls complaining over the fact that guys are only into sex and not love…yet girls have no-strings attached with guys all the time…it just doesn’t make sense. Do you just straight up ask “Do you want to have sex with me?” lol</p>
<p>^That’s a good question lol.
And gutsandglory, are you by any chance Indian?</p>
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<p>hahaha, hit up some frat parties dude, you will see. Its not like guys are the only ones looking for one-nighters. Most girls want one-nighters too. </p>
<p>I agree this thread has gotten way too long. Just let it die.</p>
<p>Okay, seriously? If you want a girlfriend in college it will come naturally. You should determine what you think is right for you, not what others think. Women like independent and mature men. I’ll tell you one thing, if a girl saw that you were seeking advice off a bunch of people from college confidential that would be a HUGE turn off. In fact, it shows weakness. You can follow these people and their advice if you choose. I’m sure you’ll find the “typical” girl, but don’t expect more than the typical girl.</p>