My book club just read this and with all the threads on elderly parents, I thought I would mention it. I found it to be very helpful and thought provoking. It kind of relates to an NPR program on How Doctors Die. Has anyone else here read it? My parents died two different ways: one at home and one in the hospital. I hope to be like my dad and die at home.
I read a portion of it and found it depressing as hell. YMMV.
I love Atul Gowande, but I haven’t read this one yet.
Have you ever seen the series Bill Moyers did on the subject, On Our Own Terms? I found it profoundly valuable in coming to terms with death and dying.
Yes, I read it and thought it was excellent. I knew going in that it wasn’t going to be cheerful!
I thought this was an outstanding book that addresses a topic worth of some pre-thought ahead of time. Gawande addresses death and dying in a straightforward accessible way, and he warns that medicine is about saving lives and prolonging life first and foremost, and in some cases, the quality of life is what really needs to be considered and what does quality of life mean when one has a chronic illness. I was so so glad I read it. And I was moved by Gawande’s personal story with his own physician parent.
I read it and thoroughly enjoyed it. Yes, it is an unpleasant subject, but I knew that going in and thought it was very well-written. You come away from the book feeling like you may have more control over how you, and your loved ones, leave this world for the next one, and that is a good feeling!
I also read the book, and really got a lot out of it. I’m planning to read it again. I found the history of caring for the aged - from poor houses to assisted living, etc. fascinating.
Did anyone else laugh out loud at the part where the author’s father fell during the night and couldn’t get back up; his mother joined his father on the floor until morning, and then she couldn’t get up either due to her arthritis? The morning aide found them both laying together on the floor. Sad but funny the way the author described it.
One thing that really struck me was the discussion of the difference between what Gawande expected his father would want at the end of life and what his father actually wanted. Lesson: don’t assume; ask.
Dr. Gawande did a PBS Frontline documentary about his book earlier this year. It’s still available online:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/being-mortal/
This book really struck a chord with me. I am encouraging my dh’s siblings (dh is not much of a reader) to read this as both my in-laws are still alive. I expected this book to be depressing but I really didn’t find it that way.
It was a hard read, but I’m glad I did it. It gave me a framework to think about the questions to ask of my aging parents and in-laws as they approach the different phases.
A great book to facilitate discussion. We read it as part of our hospital book group. Some of the physicians were not happy with it. Those who work in palliative, or have that bent really liked it. Nurses and social workers really appreciated the message.
Read it last fall. Excellent- this from a physician couple, H and I. Timely when H’s uncle was ill and died in a few months. Told others to read it back then.
I read it after a recommendation from a work friend and have passed it on to others. We are all dealing with aging parents.
I wish I could get my H and my siblings to read it.
Me too!