Best Colleges Admitted to But Did Not Attend -- and Why

Parents Forum
1

Among the colleges I applied to when I was in high school many decades ago were Princeton and Stanford. I wasn’t admitted to either one. In my senior year of college at Reed, I applied to Princeton for a PhD program and Stanford for law school. I was admitted to both. But I turned them down and took myself to a PhD program at a university in the Midwest from which I received my doctoral degree 6 years later. I recently retired. I never regretted my career or graduate school choices.

Perhaps because of my experience, my kids never became fixated on a particular college for undergraduate studies. They knew, and I encouraged them to understand, that this wasn’t likely to be the only key to their career or life success, as long as they attended strong colleges that allowed them to discover their interests and develop their skills. So far, this has proved out very well. No. 1 never fixated on a particular college as his goal. He attended and graduated from a great one, however: the University of Chicago. No. 2 sought a specialized type and geographic location for college; and RISD’s industrial design program has proved to be a great basis for her career. She later added an MBA.

2

Are you asking for input from others about their experiences?

Sometimes “best” doesn’t equate with top choice.

Very often the “best” in terms of overall prestige and reputation is not the “best” in terms of fit or in the quality of the department or major the student is interested in.

And of course money is always an important factor.

I noticed you didn’t post the reason you chose your midwest U over Princeton for the PhD… even though you have “and Why” as part of the thread title.

3

“But I turned them down and took myself to a PhD program at a university in the Midwest from which I received my doctoral degree 6 years later.”

Wasnt that “University in the Midwest” the U of Chicago?
which has always been know and revered for their Graduate school programs?

I fail to see what advantage you lost, so many years ago, by turning down Stanford or Princeton for your graduate education.
Back in those days, Stanford was the private NCal U where the smartest Calif U grads students enrolled. period. I know .DH attended Stanford as an UG student. In those days they had yet to become the graduate school powerhouse of today.
We still live right next to Stanford.
Many things have changed in the past 40+ years.

To supply a more recent example of "Best Colleges Admitted to But Did Not Attend – and Why "
-DS was also rejected as an UG applicant by Stanford in 2006, but was accepted as a Phd applicant in 2010. He also declined admission there and instead, enrolled, and recently received his PhD from Caltech, which is one of the highest ranked U’s in the world and does has the highest ranking graduate PhD program in his area of study in the world.

He chose well, as you did.

4

No I didn’t attend UofC. Rather UWis for my PhD. Caltech is a great college; one of my brothers got his BS and PhD there in physics. Had Feynman for Physics 1, and TA’d for Gell-Mann when he was in his doctoral program. Two Nobel winners.

Calmom, I had a full ride offered at Princeton and Wisconsin but preferred the theoretical approach at UWIs over the more traditional approach at P-ton.

5

That’s why I took issue with the word “best.” PhD work, by its nature, is highly individualized – so the decision is going to depend a lot on the specific faculty and the degree to which that faculty meshes with the PhD candidate’s goals. Now there could be best fit or best opportunity that is turned down for other reasons – but that’s not what you have described for yourself. As you wanted a theoretical over traditional approach, then Princeton was not the “best” for you.

So seriously, is there a point to this thread other than to give posters an opportunity to boast about the prestige institutions that they turned down, for whatever reason?

6

When I see students turn down their #1 choice (aka, the “best” for them even if not with various ranking systems), it’s almost always due to finances.

7

The reasons today can be quite different than the reasons 40 years ago. For me one was too far away and my parents said no and one was just too big even though I applied to the res college. OST was never pasty of the decision matrix.

8

Back in the day, mid 1970’s, I was accepted to both Syracuse and BU for journalism. I could not afford to attend either and instead wound up at my local CUNY commuter school. I eventually changed majors to poli sci and history and went on to a commuter law school. I had been accepted to GW Law School and had obtained a job with the US government as a secretary at an agency, but the school didn’t give me enough FA and then told me I had to sign a paper that I would not work the first year. They guaranteed sufficient aid for the second two years, but I had to get through the first. I was barely 20 years and had nobody to advise me. The idea of deferring school for a year and working to save up the money for that year’s tuition never occurred to me and so I opted to attend the local school that offered me a full tuition scholarship. I met my H there and now I have my children, whom I adore, so I think life worked out the way it should have.

9

If you CHOOSE to turn down a “top” school, it should be because you really believe your choice is best and will never regret it. That is possible and good. (If the financial aid package could not be negotiated to something you can manage, then there is not really a choice. You go where you can.)

But too many people who make that type of choice when it is a real choice (i.e., when their family CAN afford it), regret that choice.

I grew up with the story of how my dad was admitted to Dartmouth but his mean father (who was also abusive and broke his nose twice and knocked him unconscious sometimes) told him, “I can pay for Dartmouth if you want to be a parasite and live off the fat of the lamb. Or you can be a real man and work and pay your own way through a school you can afford.” My dad got angry at that statement and made the decision to work his way through CUNY Brooklyn. He always regretted it and never stopped repeating that story.

My son’s English teacher in high school told him how he had been admitted to American, but went to a state university and always regretted not choosing American.

A colleague of mine told me he had turned down Notre Dame for the local state university and has always regretted it.

During my son’s application process, we kept hearing stories like that. So when, at some point in the process, my very considerate son realized how crazily expensive private colleges are and mentioned, “Maybe I should save us money by going to Binghamton,” we thought it worth saying what we did. We told him that Bing is a great college, and we will be pleased and proud if he chooses it. But if he chooses it, it should be because he thinks it is the best fit for him, not because of money. We told him we have saved and made financial choices his whole life to be able to tell him he can go wherever he wants. Go for fit, and do not worry about money.

So, my thought for applicants: go where you can afford. But if you get a good aid package, OR can afford full tuition, at the “best” school (to use the OP’s language), then if you choose a less “prestigious” college, you had better be prepared to state proudly your whole life that that is where you went, and that it was a great experience. But if, for the rest of your life, you are going to preface every conversation about college with, “I COULD have gone to [other college],” then if you have a choice, choose the one that does not require an explanation!

10

30 or 40 years ago, we didn’t have nearly as much information as we do today regarding college selections. We relied mostly on word of mouth. Strangely, with the ease of access to all the data and the instantaneity of information, we don’t seem to make necessarily better decisions today. Ranking seems to be all that matters to many college-bound students and their parents. Many seem to prefer the simplicity of a single ranking number, rather than doing their own analyses on the actual data that are available. Is this another example that technology has made us too dependent and too lazy?

11

I didn’t put as much thought into college 40 years ago. I applied to 5 and attended the one I thought I would like best. I remember my parents putting a lot of thought into my brother’s school because he had some issues and my mother was looking for certain programs, support etc.

Neither one of my kids chose the highest ranking school that accepted them. Older D chose the perfect school for her…she loves sports and wanted to play. Younger D turned down 3 schools that are ranked higher than the school she currently attends. One school is very similar to her current school and would have cost us an extra $10-15,000 year. She looked at us an said it wasn’t necessary to spend the extra money for such a similar school, especially since she loves the less costly option. She decided that the other 2 schools were not the right fit…she was very nervous about the intensity and how it would possibly affect her mental health ( had friends there) and was turned off by the lack of economic diversity ( her perception…might not be true).

12

I find it fascinating that years and years after the fact people regret where they went to college. I mean, you have no idea that the experience or the outcome would have been better.
I know many people who selected the less expensive school and are living their lives without regret.

13

I was deferred from ED by Cornell back in the stone ages and was all set to go to Bucknell. When I was accepted in the RD round, I went back and forth about do I really want to go to Cornell. I did ultimately choose Cornell but it was at the urging of my teachers at the time who told me I’d be stupid to turn down an Ivy League. I was neurobio/premed at Cornell and ended up switching to psych when we had to declare sophomore year. I often wonder if would have been different if I was at Bucknell, where I perhaps would have had the opportunity to shine more. That said, no regrets. I met my husband at Cornell, had a great early career in my field, etc…

DD chose to not apply ED to JHU. We had multiple visits there and talked at length to admissions. The admission person said she’d have a super shot of acceptance in ED, but that RD is crazy competitive and that it would be unlikely. Knowing that, she still felt Purdue was the better fit, not only for her but for her intended major, so declined to ED. Definitely no regrets!

14

For me there was a major choice I was making for grad school: career. Should I pursue doctoral studies in my field (if so, choose between Princeton and Wisconsin), or should I become a lawyer (if so, choose between Stanford, Berkeley (Boalt), Chicago, and Hastings – the only law schools I applied to). I first ruled out law, and that left me with a choice between the only two PhD programs I had applied to. Now in deep hindsight I reflect on the fact that had I not chosen grad school at Wisconsin I’d never have met the love of my life, the future mother of our two great children.

15

But you’ll never know if you would have made an even better match at the other school and had even more wonderful children with the one you never met due to your college choice. :wink:

I don’t see what light this thread is attempting to shed other than to ask people if they have regrets about a decision they can’t undo which is an unproductive exercise. If they don’t regret their decision, then there’s nothing interesting to say.

16

Back before the dominance of ED/EA, most people who attended one top school turned down others. That’s still the case for law school.

17

I, back in the day, and my D both chose the “best” school we were admitted to and the least expensive school - meaning they were the same school. Not a lot to agonize over but some minor fit questions (we both had Us and LACs to choose from at the end).

S had a tougher choice and followed the money. He left that school after a year. I often wonder if we’d been able to afford the better one, if his experience would have been different, but it’s also possible we’d just have more debt for the same result.

Even hindsight isn’t always 20/20.

18

I did not then, and do not now, consider Yale Law to be the best law school in the country, but it was then and is now the most selective, hands down. I got into all of HYS and strongly considered them all, plus NYU. In the end, I LOVED Harvard Law and the community I’ve had ever since.

19

I chose Harvard Business School over Wharton and Michigan (first choice), but DH and I decided not to live apart while I attended, and Boston was the only office where his company had an open slot, so I chose based on convenience and left the program in the first year as it was not a good fit for me. No regrets, so I have nothing to add beyond the humblebrag @calmon predicted in post #4. :wink:

20

Niece was admitted to law school at Columbia, NYU and Georgetown. She ended up going to George Washington Law school because they gave her a full scholarship in contrast to the others who gave her partial scholarships.