Some good quality stationery with matching envelopes, for letter writing, might be nice. Such things, in boxed sets, used to be available in lots of places. Not so much anymore, but I’m sure they could be found online.
We took an old iPad that was outdated but still ran, and put on one of the music apps, either Pandora or Spotify, and loaded it up with music my dad is known to like. Then bought a pair of headphones, showed him how he basically just had to push the Play button, sit back and listen. This was when he was in a rehab hospital with not much to keep him occupied, plus a roommate whom we didn’t want to disturb, so it worked out great. Now that he’s back home he doesn’t use the headphones so much, but the music app pre-loaded with his music is still a big hit!
My mother and my ILs all enjoy the large container of chocolates of the world from Costco.
Anything that makes life easier or gives experiences and time together. As we get older, the best things in life aren’t things!
Suggestions–Food. We send MIL high quality steaks every year. My Mom, before she died, loved getting a fruit bouquet rather than a flower one. However, I did give her a big, beautiful hanging plant every spring, to hang outside her home. Then she didn’t need to think about it.
Events. Give tickets to or take the person in question to a concert, display or whatever activity. Sometimes a drive is all that is needed.
Pay for a service. Pay for housecleaning, yard clean-up, whatever.
A meal out together, watching a movie together, a trip or drive together. I emphasize the “together” part.
From someone devoid of old people, I wish I had spent time understanding who was in those old pictures and scrapbooks. Or did all the genealogy research that would have thrilled my mom when she was alive. I think my parents would have enjoyed Alexa - the google speech recognition bot - I love walking in a room and commanding her to play my favorite pandora station!
My parents and MIL are not housebound, but they do enjoy receiving DVD’s. I got them into Downton Abbey a few years ago by sending them the first 2 seasons. My MIL enjoys watching old movies.
My mom is not housebound, but a couple of years ago I gave her the box of assorted greeting cards you get at Costco, with a variety of giftwraps and bows I got at TJ MAXX. She liked the whole thing but especially LOVED the cardsI.
This year, her iPAD needed replacing and she specifically asked for a BASIC, easy to use computer. After a lot of research and against my better judgement, I got her a Chromebook. She is over the top happy happy happy. There is not much to figure out and nowhere to get lost. Any senior who can understand sending an email and surfing the net might like it.
Last year I also got her an amazon.com subscription.
I’m in the homes of the housebound elderly almost daily.
The greeting cards are a good idea.I’ve met quite a few who run a church or community based “card circle” and they are in charge of sending out birthday, condolence, congrats, etc. cards.
Delivered meals are also a good idea. One of those weekly or monthly programs would be a solid choice. So is regular delivery of good fresh fruit.
If they are on a limited income, offering to pay their phone bill or cable or something similar is such a blessing for them. Paying for yard service or for a once a month house cleaning is also a great ongoing gift.
A lot of them really do seem to love their iPads, Kindles and Chromebooks.
Giving them something to plan for and look forward to is the best. A visit, a night out, a commitment to a regular dinner date are all fantastic ideas. Most of them mourn the loss of time with grandkids–sometimes I think the echo of a home once filled with the little grandkids is more painful than the first time around empty nest. Go out of your way to make sure your high school and college aged kids spend time with their aging grandparents.
My mother was all but housebound before she died.
I like most of these ideas. Some, of course, are dependent on a person’s tastes. I would be careful about food gifts, both in terms of likes/dislikes and any dietary restrictions. I also like the idea of paying for a service - that service doesn’t have to be fancy. Maybe a season of snow plowing, blacktopping a driveway, painting the living room.
But, most of all, visit if you can. I spent two weeks every summer with my mother when my children were younger. It was the hardest two weeks of every year - we really got on each other’s nerves towards the end of the visit - but my children got to know their Nanna. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
even if elders are housebound, if they still have their wits about them many really enjoy being connected to the outside world electronically. My mom has loved having the grandkids spend time with her teaching her the ins and outs of various social media platforms, how to upload photos, etc. Actually, all the seniors I know from 80 to 90 enjoy an online presence so if you have a senior that isn’t connected, I think the gift of a means of connecting - iPad, laptop, whatever - and one on one time to help them understand the basics is a wonderful gift. For someone who is housebound, being able to stay connected to the outside world is a real gift.
I used to worry in bad weather when my Father would head out to get his newspaper and play his numbers. We got him a subscription to the news paper and a season ticket for his numbers. He still likes to get out and play the numbers anyway, but doesn’t have to go out if weather is bad.
My father was always difficult to buy things for. We gave up on gifts when they went unused- a set of bath towels he saved for more than a decade while continuing to use the ratty old ones, sigh. The purpose of the gift was to replace those. Other attempts to improve things went unused as well.
Now, at 90, he is losing his “wits” more and more (acknowledging that this matters is huge). But, the gift of random phone calls is still appreciated (we live too far to make physical visits practical and he refused to get into computers- he was an EE major and grandson CS, no good reasons…). I feel more and more like I’m talking to a young child and have let go of the adult father I once knew (and argued with). My sister reports he can still manage bills et al. He is also too stubborn (or pick other words) to move to a senior complex etc. So every so often I call and remind him where we live when asked, retell him where our son lives (for 4 and 3 years now) and repeat information about such things as recent weather events that made the national news I’ve already told him. I also tolerate rehearing bits he said just a couple of minutes ago in the same conversation.
Random phone calls relieve some of his boredom (we can’t change things for him- his personality…) and mean I get to call when I am in the mood to plus make it a nice surprise instead of an obligation. Most of the time there is little to say- we lead boring lives I guess plus he doesn’t remember what we tell him anymore.
By 90 my father already has the photos et al and is withdrawing from the world. He no longer cares about new great grandchildren either. Sounds sad but that’s life- his mind is leaving before his body.
Sorry to be such a downer- my chance to vent. Don’t feel sorry for me/him. We humans all live and die, some sooner and others later.
My short answer is the gift of calling just to say hi and break up their day.
A digital picture frame that was fully loaded with thousands of pictures (from all times and all members of the family, especially old pictures) set to display randomly is like a never ending rotating photo album. It is pretty easy to put together because you just keep adding digital pictures from everyone you can get them from in the extended family in no particular order. Then, especially if you can set it to not rotate too fast, when a picture comes up (especially from the past - a celebration and visit somewhere) it can stimulate conversation. In the event that you do have caregivers come in, it is really helpful as a focal point for discussions that help the carer beginning to bond with the person.
The only downside we had was my mother “adjusting it” or “fixing it”. What this meant is that we had to restart it periodically when it was “broken”, but aside from that, it worked really well.
Another idea…old radio shows. You can buy them on a CD or on a cassette tape. They have some really great old ones from the 30s and 40s. They are interesting to listen to. They are especially good for someone with failing vision. The Shadow is particularly popular.
I used to listen to The Shadow and The Green Hornet back as a kid when we lived for awhile in a place with zero tv. This was in the 60s/70s. “only the Shadow knows”
My in laws were given a nice digital frame by SIL, they did not turn it on so as to not waste the battery!
We could get a debate going- who is more difficult: parents or children (teens)? Can’t make either of them do what we think they should, use our logic…
Ugg slippers (splurge but oh so nice) and they are so hardy and have that super nice bottom that can go inside or outside. It’s a slipper they can wear all day and not slip.
No idea of the relevance to others, but my midwest folks loooove the Harry and David relishes/salsas or spreads - whatever they are called. You can get a sampler of several, none of them so big that they go bad after opening. That and some crackers, maybe some cheese, and they are good to go. I have happily ordered almost everything from them (cheese/salami/cracker, etc.). I do love how H&D packages their stuff.
Also from H&D (my credit card and their address stored, easy to do I guess!) – I have sent a spiral sliced ham and they love just warming it up and not having to cook, apparently it was delicious. Oh ya, last holidays, I actually sent a small ham and small roast together - about a week to 10 days before Christmas, also from H&D. They don’t need to be out shopping when super cold.
Speaking of colds, I sent a humidifier, they needed it. Amazon is a wonderful thing when your older parents live in a small town.
My mother lives in assisted living so I really can’t give her anything that would take up any room. She is a Methodist and I order her a subscription to The Upper Room every year, she likes word-find puzzle books, large print books she can pass on; I send her a big tin of popcorn which she loves and sometimes I pick up Moravian cookies on my way. She really does not expect anything and is appreciative of anything I can think of. My brother sends her a Harry and David box.
My H’s sister gave him Ugg slippers one year and I have since bought him new ones when they wore out. He is a skinny active guy (runner)- in Florida!