<p>Oh, wow, didn’t mean to make my son out to be a monster. His grandfather, husband’s father, was very overbearing and ruled the family with a heavy hand, in my view. Husband viewed son’s relationship with his grandfather as a loving, close one, and stated that he hoped that son’s children could have the kind of relationship with us that he did with his grandfather. Son’s words were, Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want them to have that. He didn’t mean, I don’t think, that he didn’t want the loving relationship they had, but he does not want us to have such a strong influence in their lives that it stifles them, as my father in law often did. I’m not very good at expressing myself with words, so I’m sorry I painted such an evil picture, and I’m not defending son, as we are still hurt by it, but it was not a matter of him wanting to be free of any responsibilities for our care, but rather, he wants a better life for his children, where they would be free to go to college or work where they want without regard to what their grandparents think. </p>
<p>The reason I want to live close to my grandchildren is so that I can enjoy them, and not just be thought of as the burden that mom and dad have. I think no matter where they live, your parents are a burden when they age. I don’t think he realizes that even if we live across the country, he’ll still feel responsible for us. But we have always urged our son to not feel like he can’t take a job or go on a vacation because we’re nearby. In fact, take advantage of us and go on a vacation with your wife and we’ll take care of the kids! How I would have loved to have had those kind of parents! </p>
<p>As I’ve mentioned here before, we have a “second home” in a very moderate neighborhood near Cape May. Will retire there as soon as we can make it work. We are near the water but on solid, high ground, about half a mile from the Delaware Bay. Loads of outdoors stuff to do, Cape May has lots of arty stuff, restaurants, etc. And it’s just a beautiful area. You could get a house in a 55 or over place for real cheap, but if you don’t want to live in a place like that, you can get a house in the low 100s in a real neighborhood, not part of a condo community. this is what we have. In NJ terms, taxes are not bad, similar to what my mom is paying in off-the-beaten-path, PA. Could not be happier with this place (our income when we move down there for good will def be under 50K).</p>
<p>(also, it’s important to me to stay near my kids and potential grandkids, and they look to be staying in the state. We’ll only be a couple hours drive away.)</p>
<p>Not in Cape May City, but nearby. We ruled out CMC pretty early on–too pricey. </p>
<p>They tend to be mobile home sites. I don’t know too much about them. They’re more pricey ones that are real houses. I prefer our single family neighborhood, where there are definitely homes for sale in the 100’s. but not part of a “community”–though part of a community.</p>
<p>Montegut, I don’t think you portrayed your son in a negative light. I just think many of us have a visceral reaction to the concept of a kid telling his parent where they are allowed to live. I think you should laugh it off and tell him you’ll live where you choose, and he can move. Don’t take him so seriously, he probably doesn’t realize how hurt you were. </p>
<p>Yep, that was our tour guide…it was 10 times lower than the prices of the 4 bedroom homes in our area, if not more. To me, that makes it an affordable place to live and it’s on the Amtrak line and has an airport. It’s near Niagara Falls, but we have never explored any of its other charms.</p>
<p>Buffalo! I once made a business trip to Buffalo in April. April is supposed to be spring, right, tulips and daffodils? So I didn’t wear a coat. There was 2 feet of new snow on the ground. No way would I ever live in Buffalo. </p>
<p>Well, it IS affordable & I have read of folks who really like it there. It was pleasant the times we have visited–May, June and July of different years. We never spent much time there but I understand much of upstate NY does get A LOT of snow. Since I get cold easily, I NEVER travel without a coat–I hate getting hives due to cold weather and temps.</p>
<p>Years ago I did look to have a second place in the Big Island. Something like 2-3 acres fro $10k-$20k. Since Hawaii is temperate you can buy a yurt and live pretty comfortable, perhaps off the grid. The idea intrigued me when I was younger, but the more I read about it the more it’s not a good idea. It turns the bumps/hippies also like the place and some of them are growing marijuana in their backyards.</p>
<p>HImom, I can assure you that you wouldn’t want to live in the areas of Buffalo where you can get a four bedroom home for $70,000. There are some nice areas of Buffalo, and it does have some wonderful galleries, some interesting restaurants, good hospitals, hockey and football, but it also is a very economically depressed area with a lot of crime. And, like most of the upper parts of the U.S., it has snowy winters. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone!</p>
<p>Well, actually I grew up in Buffalo and I have always liked it there but not to retire! Winter can last from October to May! So, if one must, buy a small affordable condo(so someone else can plow snow), and visit all the wonderful spots from June through September. Then get the heck out. And I say this very lovingly… I am still a loyal Buffalo Bills fan!</p>
<p>We saw those town homes a few weeks ago in Presidio area. Our bike guide said “Whatever you think they cost- triple it”</p>
<p>We have chosen Tennessee. It has everything we want and easy travel to beach or mountains. Reasonable cost of living, too.</p>
<p>My travel to Hawaii- and reported the same from visitors to Ironman Kona from all over the world except for California originators- was so horrible t</p>
<p>To me, one of the important aspects for retiring is having quick access to good medical care. Sadly, the Big Island doesn’t have that. For me, that means living in a larger city (Honolulu) with a good airport is important. It has one of the highest costs of living in the US, so HI doesn’t fit the title of this thread</p>
<p>A friend I met on CC has relocated from Sacramento to Tennessee. She goes hiking, antiquing, and is really enjoying it. My sister now lives in Gainesville, VA, has to leave at 3 am to commute to her DC area job, but it sounds so idyllic. Snow and hiking and quick trips to the Shenandoah Mountains. But she lives in a three story condo, very limited space, and has to follow HOA rules, like where she can park her car. Things like parking, snow removal, and HOA rules are things to consider when relocating/retiring. They may not matter to you now, but at different parts of the year, or different times of your life, they may become important. HOA gives her a real hassle when son comes to visit for multiple nights because of bickering over parking in a residential versus guest space. May not seem important when the weather is nice, but important when there’s three feet of snow on the ground and you’ve got bad knees as you age. Definitely consider not moving to a hilly area, one where you have to walk up a hill to your driveway, for retirement age.</p>
<p>If you aren’t bothered by volcanic fumes and don’t need much medical care (especially from specialists), it can work ok. I’m personal troubled by how few medical specialists available. I know several docs who fly in once a week or monthly to care for some of their patients on the Big Island. I would want specialist docs who at least lives ON the island where I need care. In my mind, telemedicine is not yet a great substitute for person to person care at this point.</p>
I am still a loyal Buffalo Bills fan!</p>
