Best posts

[neatoburrito]

<p>ExieMITalum just posted a link to the thread that I took the following post from. Kaleigh posted above that there should be a thread of best posts and I think that’s a great idea. </p>

<p>Quote the post (this is how you do it: [ quote ]what you want to appear in the little blue box[ /quote ] - except take the spaces out between the brackets and the “quote” and “/quote”</p>

<p>give credit to original poster and the date</p>

<p>paste a link to the thread</p>

<p>It makes it easier to do the copying and pasting if you have two windows open.</p>

<p>I’ll go first with Goaliedad’s post </p>

<p>Posted by GoalieDad on 5-27-09</p>

<p>

There is no hard and fast decision making rules on whether BS is right or not for your child.</p>

<p>That being said, here are some things to consider…</p>

<p>1) Is your child sufficiently challenged at his/her local school and will s/he be through his/her senior year?</p>

<p>2) Would your child benefit significantly from being in a smaller class environment where engaging in small group discussion is critical for generating optimum academic achievement (assuming here that your local option is larger) or is s/he a passive learner?</p>

<p>3) Does your child need more kids like him/her to optimize the academic motivation to achieve in a 24/7 environment? How much involvement does s/he need?</p>

<p>4) Is your child ready to learn the lessons of self-management academically, socially, and emotionally that come with living away from the parental security blanket?</p>

<p>5) How integrated does s/he want his academic/social/athletic/artistic life to be? Some kids thrive on it, others like to compartmentalize their non-academic endeavors.</p>

<p>6) Does your kid take advantage of everything they can where they are? You might be wasting your money…</p>

<p>Did you notice that I didn’t say anything about college admissions here? There are some advantages at most boarding schools in college placement, but they are not the advantages most people with 8th graders are thinking about.</p>

<p>Many prospective BS parents look at the numbers about a boarding school when selecting schools to apply to. They are trying to match their child to other children based upon numbers (SSAT test scores). While academic match is important in that there will be kids of similar achievement taking the same level classes as yours, that is only the beginning of the search. And this match doesn’t have to be “exact”. The difference between a 95th percentile SSAT and a 75th is generally not that significant.</p>

<p>The other numbers that parents look at are Ivy/MIT/Stanford/etc. placements on the back end. This is by far the most misused statistic published. Perhaps your child will be a match for MIT, but most of us cannot discern that from an 8th grader. So if a school does seem to place some students in “top” schools, this should be all that you need to know. If your kid is MIT material, a good school will do what is necessary to get him/her there. Having more Ivy admits only says that a school attracts more kids who end up being Ivy fits. Yes, they finish polishing these kids up, but they don’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Don’t expect miracles.</p>

<p>Now the part that boarding schools CAN do right (note that I didn’t guarantee anything - you will need to research this yourself at each school). Boarding schools get to know their students better than day schools, as they get to see the kid 24/7. They will know better what type of college will fit the student better than the public HS that sees his transcript and “daytime” life. There are kids who go to boarding school who need more structured and/or nurturing college environments than others. Living in a boarding school will reveal much better what type of environment will be better at college to both the student and the guidance folks. HYP may be good for some top students, but Williams/Amherst might be better for others. Boarding school counselors and college admissions folks develop relationships over time that help make better matches. Yeah, some top publics do this, but I doubt to the same degree. Bottom line, it is about finding the right fit for the student, not the “top rated” school. Get the “chances” issue out of your mind.</p>

<p>Lately, I have been getting a very strong feeling goaliegirl has found her college. It is nothing I would have dreamt about 3 years ago when I sent her away to school. I’d never even heard of it. Yet I now see how she would fit in there. And academically it is a safety school for her. However, there are things about it that are far more important than the incoming class stats. She is finding herself - and that by itself is worth the price of admission.</p>

<p>I hope I’ve helped to answer your question…

</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/720945-value-bs.html#post1062639729[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/720945-value-bs.html#post1062639729&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[neatoburrito]

<p>Here is another by GemmaV explaining what need blind fully means.</p>

<p>On 3/19/09, GemmaV posted:</p>

<p>

principal, I fully agree with Andover’s practice of meeting 100% need of every admitted student. You know why? Because if a school admits you and denies/waitlists you for financial aid, that’s basically denying you. From where would you get the money to go there? The sky? </p>

<p>[Back in my day, I was admitted to a particular college (let’s call that Boo U.) but they did not offer me any financial aid. The university I ended up attending offered me an extremely generous scholarship package. To me, that said, they really wanted me there. Because they knew I needed that money to go there. At Boo U., however, it felt like a slap in the face. “Yay, we like you, but not enough to give you money, so we’ll admit you so we can SAY we admitted you, but we’re not going to give you money, so we don’t really want you.”]</p>

<p>Need-blind admissions means TWO things, and they’re equally important. </p>

<p>Need-blind means #1) The school will admit students without regard to their families’ financial need. Most b-schools are actually need-blind up to a certain point. Andover’s not unique in trying to meet the “need-blind” ideal. The first round of reading apps at any school, is need-blind. Honestly, I have no idea how much money a family requires when I read applications. Sure, I can look at their parents’ occupations and make an educated guess, but I make no assumptions, and I’m not privy to their financial aid applications anyhow (that all goes to the director of financial aid). So as we read apps, we admit, deny and wait-list without having ANY knowledge of families’ financial situations. At the end of all the reading, schools then have to figure out if they’ve overspent their financial aid budgets. If they have overspent, then they need to pull out some admits (either by waitlisting them or denying them, depending on the school) and that makes them NOT need-blind. If they have not overspent and end up within their budget, then they ARE truly need-blind. </p>

<p>Did you read the profiles of the newly admitted class at Andover? Goodness, gracious me, it’s a good thing I went to Hogwarts because I never would have gotten in there. Given the sound of those kids, I imagine it was super-competitive for ANYONE to have been admitted there, whether their parents could pay full tuition or not. That is why I do believe that no one is trying to pull the wool over your eyes, principal. That talented an applicant pool with that big of a financial aid budget–no doubt those who were not accepted were not accepted due to (a) the competitiveness of the pool and (b) space limitations and not (c) financial aid limitations. </p>

<p>And need-blind means #2) The school will meet 100% of a family’s financial need.
A school cannot call itself need-blind if it doesn’t. Because otherwise, they’re simply not!</p>

<p>Yield protection and financial aid are two separate issues. If I work for School X and four generations of your family has gone to ABC Academy, and I have no good reason to think you would ever come to School X, why would I admit you? That has nothing to do with your parents’ ability to pay and everything to do with the fact that I have a limited number of people I can admit and everyone I admit I really want to come to School X.

</p>

<p>The thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/672189-i-thought-i-would-quote.html?highlight=Andover+blind+gemmav[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/672189-i-thought-i-would-quote.html?highlight=Andover+blind+gemmav&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[ExieMITAlum]

<p>Great list posted by:rbchicago</p>

<p>Yesterday, 04:05 PM #33 in the exeter/andover/sps thread</p>

<p>

Here’s a way to start the selection process
This list is a starting point. Get a book like “Private Secondary Schools” by Peterson’s or Greenes’ Guide to Boarding Schools which lists all of the stats on boarding the elite boarding schools.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Can your parents afford to pay the tuition? If not, look for 10-15 schools with need-blind admittance and huge endowments. If they can pay full price, skip to step 2.</p></li>
<li><p>What kind of grades do you get? Look at the average SSAT scores of incoming freshman and figure our which 10-15 schools are likely to accept you.</p></li>
<li><p>Are you great (and I mean great) at a specific sport? Find out which schools have the best records in that sport and put them on your list. If you’re just good or average but you still want to play, be sure the school offers JV/Club opportunities in the sport.</p></li>
<li><p>Do you want a big school or a really big school? Say, 600 -800 vs 1000-1400 students? If you don’t know, put 10 of each on your list.</p></li>
<li><p>Do you want to go to school in a place where you have access to a large city or town? If so, determine how easy or difficult it is to get there from the school. (You won’t believe how remote some of the schools are)!</p></li>
<li><p>Do most of the students remain on campus over the weekend? If you won’t be going home weekends, you want to be sure you have plenty of company.</p></li>
<li><p>Is there something in particular you want to study in depth? Pick 10-15 schools that offer what you want.</p></li>
<li><p>Is there an extracurricular activity you are interested in? Pick 10-15 schools that list a club or group that offers what you want.</p></li>
<li><p>Do you want to study abroad while in high school? Pick 10-15 schools that offer term/semester abroad programs that are well-attended.</p></li>
<li><p>Do the websites make you want to go there? Pick 10-15 schools that look you would enjoy spending 4 years there.</p></li>
</ol>

<hr>

<p>Look at your list and request brochures/dvd’s from the 15 schools that appear the most often. After reviewing the information, try to visit at least 5-6 schools before applying. You will begin to get a feel for the environment and figure out if bigger is better or if smaller suits your style. You will also start to see the type of students attending the schools. Try to attend a class. There is a real difference in the Hotchkiss classroom vs. an Exeter class.</p>

<p>When you’re ready to apply, pick 10 schools and go for it. The application process will teach you a lot about yourself at an early age. Believe me, after applying to boarding school, college apps will be a walk in the park.</p>

<p>Good luck!

</p>

[ExieMITAlum]

<p>This post from goaliedad whose rose bush analogy is brilliant:</p>

<p>11-07-2007 Post #14 on Thread *Attending a Top Prep School will HELP your chances of admission to an Ivy![/]</p>

<p>

I hate these debates, personally, but if you are going to ask, here is what I say…</p>

<p>The premise of the question is whether the school one attends has any impact on a student’s likelhood (I hate the word chances because it sounds like a random lottery drawing) of admission to highly selective schools.</p>

<p>Here is a question for you to consider… Will a prize rose bush look better in a manicured rose garden or in front of my house? My answer is that it depends upon the soil, light, pruning, watering and insect control. The bush doesn’t gain beauty from the surrounding plants, but from the environmental factors that stimulate its growth.</p>

<p>Likewise your student will have his/her best chance in a school that has the best characteristics for that particular child. Any of the AESDCH schools may or may not be the best atmosphere for any particular child. Some kids thrive better sleeping in their own beds, making their own ECs beyond what the top prep schools can offer. Other kids benefit more from being in the 24x7 give and take surrounded by high powered achievers.</p>

<p>This is why I dislike this question. It says all kids benefit the same way from the same school environment, which is patently untrue.

</p>

[Kaileigh]

<p>Great post from the parents forum by rebelangel regarding bullying/teasing and recollections from first year.</p>

<p>

You’re right Zerankis - boarding school is not easy for everyone. I’m not trying to blame the victim (your child), but I do want to cough up some personal experience for you to think about. The truth of these experiences is usually more complex than one party being totally wrong and the other completely right - although I suppose that happens now and again.</p>

<p>My first year at boarding school was a nightmare. I came from a wealthy, sheltered, and fearful background (fearful of people not like me). I’m absolutely sure that I acted the part - snobby, shy, sarcastic, prepped out, socially awkward. I was a target for some pretty intense incoming fire. Some of that fire came from a few truly jerky kids, but truth be told, most came from people who were genuinely turned off by my behavior. </p>

<p>I was incredibly unhappy that year. I never told my parents because I couldn’t stand the idea of showing weakness, especially to my father. Every day, I would “try on” different personalities, trying to unlock the code for “getting along.” But every night I would climb into bed and feel scared all over again, isolated and very homesick, wondering what unhappiness waited for me the next day. </p>

<p>As I look back many years later, that first year was a painful passage to the beginnings of self-awareness, to becoming conscious of the effect of my words and behavior on others. I went from being tone deaf socially to the realization that the problem had more to do with me than with others. Just that one bit of knowledge took a whole year to acquire! Like some wise person said, “experience is the thing you acquire right after you need it.”</p>

<p>I went into sophomore year with a tremendous amount of anxiety. But it started out better than I expected. Everyone seemed a little bit changed, including me. I began to be aware that certain kinds of behavior and words on my part attracted smiles and friends. That was a first for me. I listened more, talked less. I began to like the me that I was becoming and that slowly translated into my first friendships - some with kids that “hated” me freshman year and some with kids I had never gotten to know. Sophomore year was all about learning who I wanted to be and becoming comfortable, even a little bit, in my own skin.</p>

<p>Junior and Senior years were a rush of growth, happiness and friendships. I literally felt like I was a new person. I was a proctor Junior Year and a freshman dorm Prefect senior year.</p>

<p>On one end of the spectrum are kids who come to boarding school and have a smooth, enviable maturation right from the start. Others, like me, come to boarding school and suffer a ton of adversity as they learn what works and doesn’t work about themselves. It’s incredibly hard to be one of those kids and it’s hard to be a parent and watch the suffering. </p>

<p>Zerankis, my happiness and success in life got its start during and because of that horrible freshman year. There was more learning in those bad times than in all the years up to that point. Like I said at the start, your “take” on the bullying may be accurate and entirely the fault of the bullies. If so, I apologize for making you any unhappier than you already are. If, on the other hand, your child is also a responsible party, know that much good can come from these hard times.

</p>

<p>The original thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/923862-bullying-teasing-boarding-school-what-should-parent-do.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/923862-bullying-teasing-boarding-school-what-should-parent-do.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[neatoburrito]

<p>Post #1 by anjintrader</p>

<p>

The Parent Interview </p>

<hr>

<p>My purpose for starting this thread is to give the parents of applicants a better understanding of what to expect during the “Parent Interview.”</p>

<p>My child applied to numerous schools and over the course of a few weekends, we went on the New England Tour. We went to Andover, Exeter, St. Paul’s, Choate, Hotchkiss, and Deerfield, to name a few. No two interviews were alike, but there were some common factors. But first, understand my state of mind as I approached the first interview.</p>

<p>My daughter is exceptionally bright, has great EC’s, and has a track record of success in sports and academics. Anyone reading her application would know that, but as I went into the first interview I was in the “sell” mode. BS was something she really wanted, and I thought I would help her by “selling her” to the admissions officer. This also happens to be what I had done for a living for many years: convincing people. So I thought I was going to nail this. I had a briefcase with her awards, we had made up a resume, which I had in the inside of my jacket pocket, and I had prepared in my mind a number of “strong points” that I wanted to be sure to mention: first in this, first in that, youngest in this, awarded blah blah blah in those. You get the picture. </p>

<p>Within thirty seconds after sitting down, I was hitting the interviewer with “facts” about my daughter. I was in sell mode, on steroids! Within two minutes of the interview, I had whipped out the resume and was waiving it around, using it as an exhibit, and on and on. </p>

<p>I think the interviewer was a bit startled, but he was extremely patient. He gently tried explaining to me that the interview was just a chance to get to know the parents and the students and blah blah blah…I wasn’t really hearing him. And then he indicated this was to be the one and only interview. “WHAT!! This is it?” I was thinking. So despite what he was saying, now I went into overdrive (obviously, if there was to be only one chance to learn about my daughter, I had to get out EVERYTHING!!!) And then the interview ended. In my mind, it was abrupt. I HAD SO MUCH MORE TO SAY!!!</p>

<p>As I walked out of the interview, I felt so inadequate. I felt that I royally messed up, but I couldn’t quite figure out “why?”</p>

<p>The next day, at a different school, I was about to go into the interview and suddenly it dawned on me what the interviewer was trying to convey. He was trying to convey to me that the interview really is just about getting to know the parents. It was about establishing a rapport with the interviewer, and LISTENING. They really did want to get a feel for the parents. Are they “odd balls” or “helicopter parents” or psychos (I think I clearly established that I was the latter But I was so caught up in trying to convince the first interviewer, that I didn’t listen. I had given him a barrage of information. But sitting there, about to be interviewed again, I had suddenly “got it.”</p>

<p>I walked in, calmly sat down, and “listened” to the interviewer tell me about what a great kid I have. I “listened” to the things she mentioned about the school. And above all, I just tried to relax and be myself. Of course, there were questions, but I simply tried to make it into more of a conversation. We laughed during the interview (I managed to crack a couple jokes) and this was by far, the best “interview” of the trip. It was a pure delight, especially compared to the day before, which was a nightmare.</p>

<p>I went on about six more interviews over the next few weeks and the most important thing for me to remember was to listen. Relax, and listen to what the interviewer is saying or asking. I still “sold” my daughter, but it wasn’t a barrage of information. Instead, I was more laid back, and the information just worked its way into the conversation. It wasn’t forced. They already had a good idea of the strength of my daughters candidacy, but a person can tell a lot from the parents and a child’s upbringing. They want to make sure the parents aren’t off the wall, not too strange, don’t have three eyeballs, that sort of thing.</p>

<p>So I am so grateful for that first interviewer. He truly helped me understand what I believe is the central purpose of the interviews and what IT ISN’T! And it IS NOT the time to hit them with a barrage of facts. Have a conversation, highlight some of your child’s real strengths, show them your child comes from a nurturing, loving environment, but above all, show them that you are not some kind of oddball!! Have fun!

</p>

<p>The thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1003192-parent-interview.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1003192-parent-interview.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[neatoburrito]

<p>On a recent thread I referenced a post by GemmaV about what need-blind means. It is post #2 of this thread.</p>