<p>also</p>
<p>whenever we get back a history quiz or test to go over he says “Let’s get ready to argueeeee…!!” like the wrestling let’s get ready to rumbleeee</p>
<p>and we were talking about Nintendo wii in history and he asked, so has a “w-i-i and what the hell is it?”</p>
<p>AP Euro: </p>
<p>“Kiddies, ppl during the Enlightenment Period were amazed at the scientific wonders available to them … let’s say… have you guys ever experienced something soooo great that after you do it, you’re just like ‘oh! so that’s what it’s all about??’”</p>
<p><em>awkward silence</em>****!</p>
<p>HAHA</p>
<p>Psychology Teacher- “Seperation Anxiety…normally grown out of by 2 years old…expect for Austin, who’s 17…and still cry’s when he leaves his house”</p>
<p>OLD English Teacher- “it goes comma but comma but comma but” while pointing to her butt the entire time</p>
<p>HAHAHA the power went out one day so the teacher was letting everyone ask her questions</p>
<p>Justin: “Mrs. W, have you ever kissed a girl?”
Mrs. W: “Justin, have you?”
(Sad thing is he hadn’t!)</p>
<p>Shop Teacher: “I will give you an A+ in this class if you SWEAR to me that you will NEVER take this class again” (I was pretty bad… lol)</p>
<p>Teacher: “I originally went to college to get my MRS. I wanted to get married, screw education”</p>
<p>English Teacher: “So, the moral of this story is, if you ever want ice cream, go get it, it might just save your life”</p>
<p>Art Teacher: “You smell good…oh…that was inappropriate…im not hitting on you…i swear”</p>
<p>psychology teacher: “I went to chaperone a dance yesterday…I am scarred for life. Why are freshmen grinding? I mean I understand if the seniors did it. They’re old enough to have sex. But freshmen? Please…<em>shivers</em>”</p>
<p>said to me: “aaron, you’re cynical and stupid, the two S’s!”</p>
<p>From AP Literature-</p>
<p>talking about something in Othello: “yeah, it’s not just because Shakespeare is ■■■■■■■■.”</p>
<p>talking about Sonia from Crime and Punishment: “…tricked out in her prostitute finery.”</p>
<p>talking about a student in our class while discussing Sonia: “Libby is like a prostitute with a heart of gold.”</p>
<p>“For 5 points and an advance to the bonus round…”</p>
<p>Mr. H, having shaved off his beard: “I feel like I’ve circumcized my face.”</p>
<p>Mr. McD, assigning a particularly difficult calculus problem: “There’s no crying in math.”</p>
<p>Mr. M, returning a chemistry test I’d done well on: “You look surprised. I was too.”</p>
<p>(In a world religions class, while we were studying Judaism–)
Jewish girl: “I didn’t understand the reading last night.”
Teacher: “You didn’t? BUT YOU’RE A JEW!!!”</p>
<p>Same religions teacher, different occasion: “The people who have their papers today can turn them in to me. People who don’t can go to hell.”
(This is a very religious Mormon man, by the way. Also an actor. :p)</p>
<p>“i can just promise that for these sorts of problems, you won’t get ‘0’ as an answer.” calculus teacher on “e-box problems” (if you know what those are…)</p>
<p>“yeah? well, what if you had ‘e^(ln0)’?” calc class clown (look at that alliteration. gorgeous.)</p>
<p>“um. first of all, ‘ln0’ is undefined…” calculus teacher</p>
<hr>
<p>“so, i was studying my notes last night–” girl in my calc class</p>
<p>“YES! THAT’S WONDERFUL! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!” my calc teacher (she’s kind of at her wit’s end with my school’s calc classes)</p>
<p>“–and i didn’t understand them at all.” girl in my calc class</p>
<p>My English teacher was talking about putting buns in ovens today.</p>
<p>Student: “Is the test hard?”
Physics teacher: “No, it’s just paper.”</p>
<p>(More!)</p>
<p>I and two other girls are sitting around a teacher’s desk discussing the club that he’s the adviser for (and we’re member/leaders).</p>
<p>World religions teacher: [entering and addressing the other teacher] What is it with you??? Every time I come in here, you’re surrounded by beautiful women! Beautiful women never surround my desk!
Other teacher: [opens mouth to say something]
Me: Awww, that’s not true! I do sometimes! 
WRT: Well, that’s true. [turns to leave]
OT: [quietly] I was just about to say, ‘Yeah, only the ugly ones surround your desk.’ But then you – yeah… I’ll shut up.</p>
<p>During the same meeting with aforementioned teacher–</p>
<p>Me: [trying to fold my legs up] Darn, this chair is too small to put my feet up!
Teacher: You can’t do that, anyway. You’re wearing a skirt.
Girl: It’s okay, she’s wearing leggings.
Me: [quickly pulling my skirt up (and back down) to show him my concealing legwear] I am, see?
Teacher: [Blinks, pretending to be dazed and shocked] Okay… I think I know what she wants to be after she graduates…</p>
<hr>
<p>More from world religions…</p>
<p>Teacher: *[to the class]*I know that you’re all wondering about what you read in last night’s reading assignment about the role of sex in Tantric Buddhism. It was a little weird, huh? [Most of the students nod/grunt in agreement] We can’t really discuss this fully in a classroom setting, but I know that every one of you will find when you’re older that sex really can be a spiritual experience–
Student: Some kid just walked by the door and looked in right when you said that.
Teacher: [towards open door] SEX!!! Now he’ll sign up for my class.</p>
<hr>
<p>World religions teacher: Oh, crap! Mr. Hancock took my lectern again. That damned thief! Why does he have to be such a ■■■■■■■? [to a student] Mike, go over to Mr. Hancock’s room and tell him he’s a ■■■■■■■.
Mike: Okay. [gets up to leave, then stops] Wait a second – why don’t you tell him?
WRT: Why don’t I? I’m teaching!</p>
<p>I missed one day of school for a college visit. Conversation with my World teacher:
“I missed Monday, can I have an extension on the DBQ?”
“You’re f-u-c-k-ing kidding me?!”
“I’ll take that as a no…”</p>
<p>My English Teacher: “I want to be a supercow, but sadly, I am just another normal cow”</p>
<p>Math Teacher: “Allen (class valedictorian) is smarter than me class, but I know more”</p>
<p>to this kid who has really sloppy writing
“i guess ur elementary school sucked because they never taught u how to write properly.”</p>
<p>to this other kid who writes huge
“im not old, like 80 years old, i can read super small writing. i dont need this kind of writing that you can see a thousand feet in the air.”</p>
<p>to that same kind who writes huge
“cant u see the lines on the paper? they’re a guide. <em>shows to the class</em> look how his writing looks like a wave. im getting seasick just looking at it.”</p>
<p>teacher: “im going to throw these pieces of paper across and whichever is the farthest and to the left is going first in tomorrow’s presentation”
kid sitting on the other side: “your left or my left?”
teacher: “well whose perspective am i in right now?”</p>
<p>math teacher: “so after u replace x, whats the answer?” <em>points at the x</em>
kid: “X!”
math teacher: “no i said AFTER u replace the x”
kid: “but u were pointing at the x, not the answer!”</p>
<p>“Have a safe and sober weekend”</p>
<p>“Please to Listen”</p>
<p>over the announcements EVERYDAY, “It is a great day to be Tiger” - school mascot</p>
<p>(we are discussing impulse (F * delta t))
Physics teacher: Next time you get in a fight instead of telling the other person to calm down or take a deep breath, tell them to increase their delta t.</p>