Hey OP, saw a couple of schools you mentioned for your D that my D’s attend(ed).
D1 graduated from Tufts in CS. Her CS intro course in her first semester freshman year was the very first time she’d ever programmed. By and large, the department was a supportive place for a nontraditional type of student to flourish and develop because of the faculty and a strong women in CS organization. As you mentioned with your son, there is definitely an issue with the newbies versus the students who’ve been programming since they were small. The major has become far more popular and it can now be difficult to get into classes.
Non-techie D2 is at Pitzer, and has taken non-technical courses at Mudd. If your D is interested in the consortium, she should certainly look at Scripps; it can be an “admissions bargain” (since half the possible pool of applicants is ruled out 
), and the consortium is so tightly integrated that she may find it doesn’t feel like a women’s college in the same way as, say, Wellesley or Smith.