Best way to get out of this tough situation?

[Projectile]

<p>

Have you ever gone partying or clubbing?

No, and I plan to keep it that way.</p>

[Projectile]

<p>

leo- i obviously didnt mean you, we posted at pretty much the same time. The way the OP describes his feelings toward anything social or involving other people make it painfully obvious that he has some sort of aversion to having fun with friends or seeing what the world is really life. You can’t live in your bubble of bored games and pizza forever.

So, introverted people who generally don’t like big social gatherings are, in your opinion, living in a bubble and need to grow up? You’re being irrational.</p>

[choryphee]

<p>Projectile, I know how you feel! I’m in my late 30s and enjoy socializing with my actual friends, who are basically the board-games-and-Star-Wars crowd, but I have zero desire to go out after work with the people from my office. They’re nice people, we get along just great as co-workers, but I don’t want to hang out with them in my off-hours. </p>

<p>This is pretty similar to situations you’ll encounter as a professional in whatever field you go into–yes, even math. You’re not obligated to spend your off-hours with your colleagues, and you’re not obligated to give them a reason as to why you won’t go with them. You’re only obligated to be polite when you say no.</p>

<p>For me, the key has been making sure that <em>during work hours</em> I make an effort to be friendly. I remember people’s birthdays and I notice people’s new haircuts and if I walk past their desk and their screensaver is a picture of a kitten I go “Awwwww”. </p>

<p>For a study group, the equivalent would be asking your colleague how such-and-such class is going, or asking their advice on something school-related that you’d feel comfortable with, and then–this is key–listening to their answer. Even if it’s super-boring, or not information that you could ever use, just listen. Don’t sit there and plan what you’re going to say next while they’re talking. Just listen.</p>

<p>If you don’t know the difference between waiting for your turn to speak again and actually listening, this is a great opportunity to learn it. The ability to be a good listener is going to serve you very well in your apparent quest to work with other people without letting it spill over into social time. Best of luck–it’s not easy, but it can be done.</p>

[eziamm]

<p>There’s a huge difference between being introverted and not experiencing the world at all. I would consider myself introverted but I actually make an effort to enjoy myself and do thoroughly enjoy going out and having fun. Playing bored games your whole life is, undoubtedly, living in a bubble.</p>

[eziamm]

<p>Yes but there’s a difference between not partying and being scared to hang out with friends outside of work or school in an environment that isn’t exactly what you’re comfortable with. Obviously the OP has some big problems with getting at all outside his comfort zone.</p>