<p>So, my study partners invited me to go out with them after the exams, but I said I might be going somewhere with my family and will get back to them about it. Thing is, I’m not at all into partying, drinking, and other extroverted activities. They’ve helped me a lot and I don’t want them to feel like I’m trying to avoid them outside of school, I’m just not a social person at all and I don’t want them to take it the wrong way. What would be the best way to go about this? Should I just lie every time and make up some excuse, or will they eventually pick up on it?</p>
<p>in my opinion, you should just tell them that you’re not interested in drinking.</p>
<p>but you should hang out with them sometimes.</p>
<p>Why not suggest going to a restaurant or sports bar…going out doesn’t need to mean bar hopping. At a sports bar, everyone can get a burger or pizza and no one cares if you order a cola instead of a beer.</p>
<p>You can still hang out with them and not drink.
Or, just tell them you are not interested in drinking if you hang out.</p>
<p>If you really like them, I’d say suck it up and just go. You don’t have to drink. If you are ambivalent about them, just politely say no.</p>
<p>First, you need to understand that this is not really that “tough” of a situation. It is a normal life/social situation that you will be dealing with with employers, in-laws, and a number of other people. </p>
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<p>But that is exactly what you are doing. And if they have helped you a lot, it would be beneficial to you to make an effort to socialize with them on their level. You do not have to drink at a bar, many people do not drink at bars or restaurants. If you drive, offer to be the desig. driver, and tell them that you will because you do not drink. You can also suggest that you meet them somewhere so you have your own transportation, then you can leave whenever you want to.</p>
<p>I have a few friends who hang out with us while we’re all drunk and it’s fun for them too because we’re all more social, and we hang out with them still. Plus, it’s fun to make fun of them in the morning for all the stupid stuff they said. Something about drinking (or not drinking) on a night with a group of friends really does make for a fantastic bonding experience.</p>
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I am not interested in sports and nor do I think they would be interested in going to a restaurant.</p>
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Firstly, I can’t drive (don’t have a driver’s license, can’t afford a car). They are not my friends, just a few acquaintances I study with. Outside of school and studying, I have nothing in common with these guys. I also am not a bar or party person. If they just wanted to relax and play video games or board games over a pizza or something, then I would definitely hang out with them. But, it seems they’re rather into clubbing and partying. Really would prefer not to ever attend a party or a club, even if it was my best friends that invited me. </p>
<p>Now, would they take it the wrong way and assume I’m being arrogant towards them because I never take them up on their offer, or will they hopefully even stop inviting me and just go out among themselves?</p>
<p>Just tell them you can’t go. If they push for a reason, tell them you have prior plans.</p>
<p>Problem solved.</p>
<p>If it begins to happen more than once, just tell them it’s not your scene. Again, problem solved. It may be nice to say, “It’s not my scene, but if you were [insert something you like], I would be up for it” or something like that, inviting the possibility of finding some mutually attractive option.</p>
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I sure hope so. But, people love to take everything personal these days, and I’m just hoping they aren’t going to assume that I keep declining because I think I am better than them, or something.</p>
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I guess I’m not a “real man”, or whatever that means. Also, what do you mean by “adolescent” shell? Are you implying that my interests are childish?</p>
<p>^I won’t even imply it. You seem very scared of the world.</p>
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I can see what you’re saying, but the problem is not that. I just don’t want them to suddenly decide to exclude me from studying with them and only start studying among themselves. They have really helped bring my grade up.</p>
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Scared of the world? That’s pretty funny.</p>
<p>Have you ever gone partying or clubbing?</p>
<p>leo- i obviously didnt mean you, we posted at pretty much the same time. The way the OP describes his feelings toward anything social or involving other people make it painfully obvious that he has some sort of aversion to having fun with friends or seeing what the world is really life. You can’t live in your bubble of bored games and pizza forever.</p>
<p>Leo, my post was directed toward the OP, not you.</p>
<p>@ez- I like pizza and board games. Dude, people don’t have to try clubbing or whatever if they have enough life experience to know that’s not their scene. You’re as closed minded as the op but in the opposite way. </p>
<p>Op, you are not even remotely in a tough situation. Tell them no thank you, they don’t need an explanation.</p>
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Not much, really. We only study together, and I assume they enjoy abstract mathematics as much as I do since they are also math majors.</p>