Hello, I’m an 18 year old high school senior and I’m having a lot of stressful problems with college and home, I hope someone out there can help me.
The main issue is that I have no idea how to pay for college. I am currently planning to attend a state school but because of how much money my family makes (110000/year) I don’t qualify for really any need based financial aid but I have two sibling that will be attending a higher education institution within the next two years. I figure most students would fill out scholarship after scholarship to pay for college in that case, however I have a really hard time writing the essays that those scholarships ask for. I can do anything except write. I have a 1340 on my SAT and a 3.55 unweighted GPA (dragged down by writing assignments and English classes).
I keep trying to fill out scholarships but I just can’t write the essays. I keep getting help from teachers and occasionally my parents but there’s only so much they can do without writing my essays for me.
My Mom says I should get a job to help pay for college, and I did get a job for 6 months. But my employers we’re asking me to start working 30+ hours a week on closing nights and it was getting in the way of me graduating so I had to quit. I liked the job and I like working but the hours were just too much. Also all of my teachers were pressuring me to quit because I was starting to get depressed. My Mom got me to get another job but I’m afraid they’ll ask me to do the same thing and work way too much. But I still need to find a way to pay for college.
But I don’t even know why I want to go to college. I know I’m going to flunk out because I still can’t write an essay to save my life. Is it worth it for someone like me to go to college? I can learn very fast and overall I’m very good in a classroom setting, it’s just writing that I struggle with.
I can’t take a year off to just work and save up for school either because rent is too high in the part of the country I live in, and my Mom won’t let me live at home unless I’m going to school and working. The problem with living at home, working and going to school is that I feel like I will just be wasting time and money. I would have to attend the local community college and I’ve seen the coursework there. It’s just not going to challenge me and I’ll just end up feeling all alone.
I really just don’t know what to do. I feel stuck because I’m being told by my parents, my peers, my teachers, and myself that I’m meant to go to a four year university and that anything less isn’t worth my time. But I can’t find the money to go to one, and if I go to my local community college, I don’t know if I’ll be able to live with the fact that I’m underachieving. I keep trying to talk to people in my life about this but no one will listen and I don’t know if I can live with this stress anymore. I just need some help. Anything please. I love working and I love school. But everyone is asking too much from me and I don’t have anywhere to go to for help. I don’t think I can take this stress anymore. Please someone help.
First there is the issue with writing. What do you think is your problem? Do you feel that you think more slowly than some other people? Is it hard to keep your attention on a project. Is it hard to organize your thoughts? Is it hard for you to physically get them onto paper? Is it hard to write in the timeframe you are given in class or for longer assignments? Each of thse has its own work-around. Your English teacher and the resource team at your school shoukd be able to help with this.
Then there is the money thing. How much can your parents pay? Something? Nothing? You wrote about your mom. Is your dad around? Does he agree with your mom that you have to move out if you are just working? Would he let you stay home for a year to earn money, retake your SAT and apply to places where you might get a scholarship for your grades and test scores? Look at the thread on automatic scholarships at the top of this forum. You might qualify for some of them now.
And lastly, or maybe really firstly, there is your feeling of depression about all of this. Your guidance counselor should be able to help you find someone to talk with about that. Your counselor has access to free and affordable therapists. Sometimes even just one or two conversations can help people feel better.
Take another look at your CC. Is there an Honors Program? Are there any merit-based scholarships? Many CCs do have those. If money is tight and you want to go to college this fall, that might work for you.
@AnxiousAroundHere I would look into trade schools. Not enough smart kids choose trades. IT work, electrical…
That is pretty harsh that your parents will kick you put and are unwilling to pay anything for your college.
I think you need to stop worrying about what other people think and put yourself first. How much does community college cost? You can get $5500 Freshman year, $6500 Sophomore year, $7500 Junior Senior year in Stafford loans.
If you go to college, check whether your college has a Writing Center. If they do, use it a lot. They essentially tutor for specific writing assignments.
The majority of Americans never graduate from a 4 year university. Most do quite well anyway. @gearmom’s suggestion of looking at trade schools makes sense to me.
On the other hand, “1340 on my SAT and a 3.55 unweighted GPA” is certainly good enough for the great majority of the 4,000 or so universities and colleges in the US. This would put you in the upper half of the incoming class at many good universities. How much of a scholarship it would get you I don’t know.
With regard to whether not liking to write will matter, this may depend upon your major. If you major in computer science or mathematics then writing won’t be required at least for most classes in your major. I couldn’t write an essay to save my life either but still did fine in university – as a math major (I could write a math proof or derive a math formula).
In some cases when you are unsure what the next step should be, it might make sense to take a gap year or two and work for a while. This can give you time to see a bit of the working world and think about what you want to do with your life, or at least the next few years of it. Once you know where you want to go, then you can think about whether community college or some other path is the right one to get you there. For now, I would try to keep your grades up for the rest of your senior year, so that if you do apply to a university down the road you will have a good full 4 years on your high school transcript.
Your grades and your SAT score indicates that you are capable of doing college work
You say that you have trouble writing but that is certainly something college will make you focus on and as another poster mentioned, all colleges have people to help with writing. Writing is a learned skill. You just haven’t learned it yet. You need personal one-on-one instruction.
The probability of you winning a substantial scholarship from writing essays is very small. The expected return on your time investment is small.
So the real problem is affording the state school. Beyond the standard loans, are your parents willing to help at all? How much? If it’s zero, you need a different strategy.
Forget about making other people happy, that’s not your job. Make yourself happy first.
Stop looking at college as an achievement. That’s a huge mistake. First determine IF you want to go to college. I think if you decide to go, your ought to have some direction before you spend precious resources. Do you have a profession in sight? Do you just want to be an educated person? Do you just want to professional opportunities that comes from having a bachelor’s degree? Do you want to study business? Is there a particular subject that fascinates you?
Once you have a direction, figure out the path. It may make sense to go to a community college first for costs. It may make sense to borrow money. It may make sense to go to work full-time, go to school part-time and just take longer. Life is not a race. It may make sense for you to move to a cheaper part of the country where you can live indoors on working part-time and going to school part-time. It may make sense to move to a state with inexpensive in-state tuition, work there for a year to gain residency and then go to school in that state.
There are options.
But stop writing scholarship essays. It’s only a little better than buying lottery tickets.
All good advice. I have heard this dilemma from several kids who feel that a 4-year university, complete with football games and greek life) is the only next step. It is not! I have a good friend who’s son didn’t get in anywhere he thought was worth the price tag, so he’s at a good community college for two years. My state even offers two years free to instate kids with your stats. You should definitely look into it! It is not defeat…it is SMART! Nobody cares where you start, it’s where you finish.
Quick personal story…my husband did not do well in high school…not nearly as well as you. Went into the army for college money but hated every second. Came out with a renewed passion for education in any form. Went to community college and finished 2 years in 1 year with 2 summers. Went to our flagship state school (highly rated and hard to get into now) and graduated Phi Beta Kappa (the highest academic honor), went to one of the best private universities in the country for his masters, got into law school but passed it up for a career that he is still doing and is a SVP at a Fortune 100 company. NOBODY thought this would be his path. Especially him! You are so young and anything is possible. As I said before…nobody cares where you start, it’s where you finish!
I went to a CC. Not because I was stupid and not because there weren’t options. But because I’m one of 5 and even 40 years ago college was expensive. I’ve been a math teacher for 30+ years, department chair for a while (before kids) and I’m living the life I want to live.
Your parents, peers, teachers, and you yourself are all WRONG when they say you’re meant to go to a four year university and that anything less isn’t worth your time.
Please get to the root of this issue. ALL college classes require writing. Writing is a very significant part of the curriculum.
You have received some good suggestions.
My question…what CAN you do really well? Do that.
And I agree with @ClassicRockerDad the smaller scholarships you are applying for are not that easy to get…but more than that…most will be for one year only. THEN what will you do?
I think looking at CC, and a technical program might be terrific for you.
If you start at a CC, I agree that seeing the writing or tutorial center is a good idea.
@AnxiousAboutCollege First of all, you can write. I already have a sample of your writing from this post. It is direct, moving and communicates your emotions clearly and eloquently. If you are not getting the grades or results you would like in school, you may need someone to help you format and organize your essays. That is not as difficult as it sounds or as some English teachers want you to believe. You don’t need to be Hemmingway. You need to write clear, well organized essays and papers. There is a formula for this. Anyone can be taught to use it. You would be surprised how often schools fail to teach the simple, direct approach to non-fiction, persuasive writing.
If you told us more about yourself, we would be able to give you some more personally tailored advice. What career are you interested in pursuing? What State?
Do community college for two years. If you excel like you think you will, you can transfer. If you do well it will cost less to get the basics out of the way.
It will be less stressful. You will make friends who are also trying to save money.
I know many high achievement people who took this route and they graduated with little or no debt. Way ahead $$ of their peers.
Why would you be underachieving if you went to CC? Many people get their start in a community college. My kid is dual enrolled in one and they have honors options. Sometimes making that choice just is about cost. MANY people in my state transfer to our state’s competitive flagship or the smaller state universities for their last 2 years. They end up with the same degree at close to half the price.
Take on as little debt as possible would be my recommendation. Will your parents allow you to live at home and pursue an option near home?