Buying a house so kiddos could stay in the school district and then struggling with commute from hell when the local economy exploded.
Not putting my foot firmly down and making quit EC activities that were being continued because of loyalty, not because kid enjoyed them.
I wish we hadn’t been strict about bedtimes. My kids grew up without ever seeing fireflies.
Also, I wish I had not allowed my second child to breastfeed for as long as she did. It created a pattern where I was always the parent who did things with her and my husband was always the parent who did things with her older brother. We never overcame that pattern, and she and her father never developed a bond between them.
My biggest mistake as a parent was introducing DD to a competitive sport while she was in elementary school, letting her drop other activities in order to devote excessive amount of time to training and trusting other people like her couches and MD who ignored signs of the injuries.
Hmmm - I think my biggest mistake must be not recognizing I made mistakes, LOL! I did a lot of things poorly, but can’t think of anything I wish I had done differently; had I done things differently, my kids would not be who they are today - and in my mind, my kids are perfect!
Well, there’s the 3 a.m. highlight reel of Mortifying Mothering Mistakes I’ve Made (most of which aren’t actually all that bad, in the light of day), and then there are the real ones.
Here’s at least one real one for each kiddo:
With D, I wish fervently that I’d worked harder to hear her unspoken messages, and been less quick to accept her putting a happy face on things.
With S1, we really, really should have found a way to offer him better, healthier eating options when he was small. There was much too much taking the easy way out through all those crazy-schedule years.
Those two are grown and flown and are lovely adults, but that doesn’t mean those (and others) weren’t real mistakes.
S2 is still a teenager, so naturally there are days when he is happy to tell us that everything we do is wrong. 
But I think in his case, despite being happily and healthily relaxed with him in many ways - or maybe BECAUSE we were so relaxed - we let some early signs of social anxiety pass without a closer look, and generally failed to push him out of his comfort zone there in a way that would probably have been good for him. Still working on that.
I have this tendency not to look back. I’m just way too busy with the now. If I do look back, there are many many things that I wish my parents had done things differently with me. What’s the point, though? I do know for the fact that they did the best they could have under their own constraints, financial means, limitations and circumstances. Likewise, I don’t dwell on MY own mistakes as a parent in the way I raised my kids. I’m fully aware that my kids don’t find me a perfect parent. Well, too bad. We just had a discussion about this topic, i.e., parenting, and I simply told them that they both wait until they themselves become parents before they pass any judgments about me. That quickly ended the discussion! 
@TiggerDad I’m in your camp!
@Marian I don’t think my kids have ever seen fireflies either, or maybe my middle one did since she’s spent several summers at camp in MN, but that has more to do with not having them in CA than with bedtime.
I think a kid should also ask himself/herself whether he/she is doing a good job being a kid to his/her parents. lol It goes both ways. lol
Not saying this is true of any parent posting here, but there are parents who have made and are continuing to make big mistakes. If looking back would help them in the present and going into the future, they should look back.
I would have left my ex right after my youngest was born. They’ve never had a positive and healthy father figure in their lives. My male friends are cool, but it’s not the same.
I wish we had taken a long family vacation every year. We went on shorter long weekend trips…and for a week to places like Cape Cod and Maine. But I wish we had gone further afield. I know…it’s a first world problem!
I wish I had not cooked special “kid” foods for them - that I would have had them start early eating what we were eating. MANY years of mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, etc.! By the time they all hit 20 or so they became adventurous eaters but not much before then!
I wish that I could have convinced S to take some mind space to really think about where he would like to attend college. He was too busy in HS to take the time and because of that, his college experience was “fine” but I think another school might have been a better fit.
We have three naturally born children. This isn’t exactly a “mistake” but I always wanted to adopt - to adopt a 4th child. If everyone didn’t think I was nuts I still do it now at age 59! My kids know this and I think that all of them wouldn’t hesitate to adopt - and that would make me thrilled.
My daughter had serious medical issues early in her high school career, requiring multiple major surgeries and lots and lots of doctor appointments. I was so focused on her and her health issues that I did not focus enough on my son’s learning disabilities and he suffered for it. I just could not fight insurance companies and doctors for one kid and school administrators and psychologists for the other kid at the same time. My son sometimes (usually) got the short end of the stick.
I intentionally did not work full time during those years so that I could do things for and with my kids. I wish that I had been able to do different things with that time than trying to get medical bills paid, trying to get schools to educate my kids at their level of ability, and trying to remember which kid needed me most at any particular moment. As it was, I got multiple letters from the truancy officer about how my straight A daughter was in danger of failing her classes because she had too many doctor excused absences (with all work promptly made up) and my son failing homework assignments because he was in his seat at school and still didn’t understand how to do his work.
Gosh why encourage yourself or others to wallow in it?
I love this thread.
I wish we had more friends and family in our family life. We were our own island. Our kids were busy with school and sports and we didn’t make enough time to socialize with other families. There were always kids over. Lots of kids hung out in our basement, but we didn’t hang out with other families very often. I’m not sure if this bothered my kids or if they noticed it. I do think they would say that they had a good childhood.
I also wish we had traveled a bit more. I got sick when my youngest was in middle school so trips and vacations stopped for a while. I wish they traveled with my husband.
I am not sure I handled the time & attention very well— that I gave each child.
One kid was laid back & easy, and therefore it was easy to convince myself she was fine & let her fend for herself. I sometimes wonder if she felt unloved or neglected.
One kid was difficult & sucked up the lion’s share of my parental concern, attention, & wallet. She definitely needed “more”. Also, very jealous of her “perfect” sister.
What made it all the worse was the kids didn’t get along well and they don’t particularly care for one another to this day.
I tried to be Switzerland, I tried to give each one what they needed, but I often felt in the middle & pulled with that feeling of coming up short.
I sometimes dread the day when they will critique the parenting job I did. The thought that I did the best I could, but maybe they don’t agree, is painful.
My daughter recently told me that the worst mistake I had made with her as a parent was not making her stick with piano lessons. It’s gratifying to know she thinks that’s the worst, but I can think of a lot more, and more serious. I’m not in the camp of thinking the mistakes don’t matter just because the end result is fine. I suppose I always aimed for my own version of perfect parenting and always came up woefully short.
I did lots of things wrong but I won’t bore you all with them. The worst mistake I made was to focus on grades too much while D was in high school. She was a good-but-not-great HS student, the queen of the B+. She was also stubborn, opinionated, and determined to do things her way.
It took me a looong time to learn to “love the kid on the couch,” and it kills me to think of all the time I wasted in the meantime. We’re good friends now, and she assures me that I didn’t ruin high school. Sometimes, though, I think she turned out so fantastically despite my influence, not because of it!
I focused too much on my kid’s happiness and wellbeing and not mine. (It took it’s toll on me and stressed me out)
Now at my age I am trying to figure out what I want for myself before it’s too late.