I’m usually never the type to write stuff like this or how I’m feeling but I really need some advice because Idk what else to do. So, I am a freshman in college in my second semester. I am studying Neuroscience and on a pre-med track. But college has really took a huge toll on my mental health. I don’t really know what about it started to stress me out so much whether its the workload, the difficult classes, or the lack of motivation to study. But whatever it is, is messing me up. Some background context, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression and Anxiety back in the summer of 2024 which was when I was ending my junior year. I packed to many AP classes into my schedule, and had some home life problem going on which caused me to a breaking point in which I had a manic episode and spent some time in a hospital. I feel like today I’m still recovering from the effects of that and my diagnosis. But, now I have professional help and medication so ya. But when I starting college I though it was going to be a fresh start to actually learn something I’ m interested in and something I really want to do with my life. Unfortunately that isn’t the case. Even though in my first semester I had a 3.2 average (.1 away from what I need) I felt like I didnt do good enough. And now in the second semster now that my classes are a bit harder im stressed the heck out. I had to take a two week break from school because I just couldnt handle the pressure I put on myself to do good. I already have problems with focusing and retaining information with the ADHD but I feel its been getting worse. With these feelings of worries I have been feeling very depressed and like im not good enough. Like I’ll never be good enough to do what I want to do. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and I dont want to give up this dream but what If i cant handle it? What if my mental health is taking over me? I just want to be able to have motivation to do these things and learn but when things get to hard I give up. So my questions are, has anyone gone through anything similar? How do I overcome these feelings of anxiety, how do I not let these thoughts of failure and not being good enough consume me? And lastly, just overall any tips of getting through college with these mental health disorders? I know this is a lot and I don’t expect anyone to read all this but literally any comment is help. My parents wont let me drop out so that’s not a option lol. Anyways plz help<3
Have you spoken to a counselor at school or a private counselor?
Do you have a medical professional or school supports to help you with your ADHD?
Certainly, it’s ok to have someone to talk/counsel with and perhaps medicate you or if you are, review your medication to maximize it’s effectiveness (via a doctor)
Good luck.
Ya, I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. I have spoke to my advisor but he just suggested taking a medical leave of absence which I would do but my parents apprehensive about it. I do have a plan for extra time on test for my ADHD but I’ll try and see if I could get some additional accommodations. Im def going to try and see if any of my meds can be increased or like changes. Thank u for ur advice 
Your health is most important. Why are your parents against a medical withdrawal - if you’re unable to continue.
Whether in school or taking some time off, getting yourself right is most important.
I wish you luck.
My first reaction is that your health is more important than the current semester of university. I think that taking some time off may be a good path.
Are you on medication? If so, then for how long? It can take a while to find the right medication. Sometimes the first thing they try does not end up being the best medication for any one specific person. It is worth taking the time to get this right.
Becoming an MD is a very long and very stressful path. This is not the right path for every student who is interested in biomedical subjects. There are lots and lots of other options. As one example, one daughter very briefly thought of being an MD, got into lab classes, and realized that biomedical lab research is what she wants to do. Right now she is working towards a PhD in a biomedical field. She needs to deal with cells on a regular basis – they don’t talk back (although occasionally they do die, and she needs to figure out why and do better next time).
A professor who I know quite well once told me that all of the academically strongest students that he has worked with at some point suffered from some degree of depression. I think that “all” might be a slight exaggeration, but this is certainly very common. There are a lot of very famous people who were very successful, but only were able to become successful after they first got their depression under control. This is not something to be embarrassed about. This is a medical condition to get treated effectively. I might liken it to allergies. I have allergies and at some point needed to get this under control. Allergies might be related to some mis-balance in hormones or chemicals. Depression may similarly be in some cases a mis-balance of hormones or chemicals. This is just a medical condition to get treated properly.
And figuring out how to treat this properly is the most important thing right now.
By the way, years ago I read the biography of Carl Jung. He said in his biography that one reason that he went into psychology was to try to figure out what was wrong with himself. He of course became one of the early icons of psychology and made huge improvements in our understanding of this field. This might be one example of the many famous people who had to get themself under control before being able to become successful.
Life is not a race. We each find our way at our own pace.
By the way, I did not see in your post where you were currently studying. Sometimes the higher ranked schools are more stressful, and are not always the best fit even for very strong students.
And you absolutely should be speaking to a counselor at your current school. If you need to take a semester off, sometimes your counselor might be the person to say this to your parents. Sometimes a person in authority will be listened to when the rest of us might not be listened to.
I am also aware of a few cases where a student has just taken fewer classes at a time, and made up the difference either over the summer or taking an extra year.
This was one of my thoughts as well. As stressed as you are, you did really well last semester. Great job! Maybe you can just slow it down a little, drop a class from your course load? Your college might offer that option due to your diagnosis of BPD, instead of having to take a full leave.
Have you had the chance to sit down with your parents and really talk about all of these feelings? I can’t imagine them not being sympathetic, even if it’s hard for them to hear.
I agree you probably are still working through the manic episode and your diagnosis, it’s a lot to take in and then just keep rolling with HS and college. You’ve been on your meds for a couple of years and it sounds like up until now they have been working ok? My niece has BPD and it’s a process, things don’t get better right away and stressors (like going away to college) definitely make it harder to manage, but it’s doable with the right support.
The amount of pressure you are putting on yourself in all likelihood is making the other issues (anxiety, self-doubt, concentration, motivation) worse. Are you doing things to take care of yourself (meditation, yoga, good nutrition and sleep) to keep in balance?
As @DadTwoGirls says, it’s not a race - no one is saying you can’t reach your goals, you may just have to take it slower.
At any rate - I’m sending you a hug 
and want you to know that it’s going to be ok - please reach out to those who are already there to take care of you and be upfront about what you are experiencing. At 18 it’s hard to see that life is long, but you’ve just started walking the path and there’s so much good in store for you when you find your pace.
Please please take care of your health first and foremost. College will always be there, and so will medical school in the future.
Is it possible for you to take a leave of absence from your current college? Do you feel comfortable finishing this term, or do you think you should request a medical withdrawal. Then take that leave. Go home, and seek a good counselor to work with you. Have a full physical as well. See if you can find a low stress job…something you would enjoy. Take the time to feel good. And take that same time to evaluate your future goals. There might be other options to consider.
You might want to look at this site. It has many health care related professions, and very rewarding ones…and many take far less schooling than becoming a doctor. You might see something that piques your interest.