<p>I, last week, bought a sterling ring for nonexistent DS’s GF.</p>
<p>I got several heavy weight 14K gold woman’s art carved, rings (bought them 30 years ago when gold was cheap).</p>
<p>I almost bought a 7 oz, 14k, 30 piece charm bracelet when gold was $650. I couldn’t scare up the money. No GF then and I must have been depressed.</p>
<p>:(</p>
<p>Wait, LP… you are buying jewelry that you think might be a good gift for your S’s future GF, whoever she is? That is a plan fraught with difficulty for the future GF. Taste in jewelry is VERY personal, in my opinion, and it is wildly awkward to receive a gift of jewelry that is not to your taste. The people who give it to you expect you to wear it… My D, for example, wears almost no jewelry (small earrings, and a simple necklace given to her by the BF are it). She would be polite, but I think secretly horrified to receive the type of jewelry you describe, especially from a bf’s parents (or even in-laws). She gets jewelry from relatives sometimes that is not to her taste. Fortunately they all live far away, so they do not know it is never worn.</p>
<p>I am the OP, and lots of you have provided helpful comments. I think unless I am actually with the BF for an event (xmas or birthday), for now I will hold off. I do sometimes slip something (food I know he likes) into care packages I send to her with a note that it is for him. I do have a heads up now that a graduation gift is probably in order if they are still together in spring 2012 (which I anticipate they will be).</p>
<p>When I first read the headline for this post, I thought it said, “Birthday Gift to D from MOM’s BOYFRIEND!” Now that, I would worry about. </p>
<p>I don’t think guys, for the most part, attach much meaning to these small gifts. You could knock yourself out finding something, but there is no guarantee they’ll use it. The one exception is food…</p>
<p>On the other hand, girls are often gift-givers, and some are more “gifting” than others. They show up at my house with all kinds of things! I generally host a dinner and theater outing every winter and summer, and make that the gift for the girlfriends.</p>
<p>Is there any difference?</p>
<p>Its coming from a potential inlaw. May or may not be liked.
It may be a deal breaker or a deal sealer. Better to discover early and inexpensively.
The jewelry is/was fairly inexpensive at the time, but of good value.</p>
<p>… Future, potential…</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>Well, yeah, I think there is a difference. My Ds would find it kind of creepy to have an in-law that bought stuff for a future D-in-law without ever having met the person. If they knew 
It feels almost like “regifting”… or if not that, at least like the gift was purchased without taking the taste of the recipient into account at all. I can see how someone might have a family heirloom that they could hope to hand down to a D-in-law someday if they only had sons or something. But to purchase stuff in advance for that purpose seems odd.</p>
<p>And I am saying that jewelry isn’t usually the best gift unless you know the person well. My Ds and I both have lots of jewelry given by others to us that we do not wear. I would say that less than 10% of it is worn, the rest is not (not even trading among us, none of us like the 90% we don’t wear). The only thing harder to give to another person than jewelry is art (just don’t do it is my motto on art – it is a disaster every time unless you were with the person while they admired the art prior to purchase!).</p>
<p>I give presents to people all the time, mostly because I have trouble remembering birthdays and special occasions. </p>
<p>Very early on in their relationship, I gave D’s boyfriend a bicycle helmet. Then I gave him another one a few weeks later after that one got damaged when he got hit by a drunk driver (bruises and bangs, fortunately otherwise okay). Come to think of it, I think I’ve given a lot of my D’s friends bicycle helmets. </p>
<p>I give people cookies and knitted hats (it’s what I do when bored, so I always have a few around). Scarves (ditto). Homemade dog treats for their dogs. I did give a hat and scarf that I’d knit especially for her to S’s girlfriend. But S asked me to knit her a scarf because she’d admired his and he didn’t want to give it to her, so I don’t know if that counts. </p>
<p>My rule for any gift–keep it small and homemade so that it’s about the affection and not about the money 
(Except for bicycle helmets, of course.)</p>
<p>dmd77, When DH crashed a few years back the manufacturer of his helmet had him return it so they could see how it performed and sent a free replacement. I believe a couple different companies offer this; you might want to look into it if the boyfriend is accident prone. ;)</p>
<p>I sent S1’s GF biscotti before Christmas, when she was studying for exams, but not without running it by him first. He is a very private person and I did not want him to feel I was intruding.</p>