<p>My best friend from childhood is throwing a 90th birthday party for his mother. She has known me all my life. I’m wondering about a good present. She lives in Florida quite independently, but the party will be at her sons’s house in the northeast–so transporting the swag could be an issue, and I suppose I’d prefer to present her with the present up here, rather than ship it down there.</p>
<p>Gift certificates–and I think she still uses a computer so online could work–come to mind, but I’d like it to be more personalized. </p>
<p>So bling? Clothing or accessory (my wife could help select)? Any thoughts appreciated. </p>
<p>I’m thinking up to between $100 or $200, but less could work too. To invoke the cliche: it’s the thought that will count.</p>
<p>I know neither my mom or in-laws would want clothing or accessories at this age. We stick to consumable products - a favorite treat or a good bottle of scotch for my in-laws who still have a drink every evening.</p>
<p>Books? My MIL still reads, but my FIL and my mom’s vision is too poor to read small print anymore.</p>
<p>Music? My mom has a CD player but I’m not sure she remembers how to use it.</p>
<p>Do you have any photos of her kids from when they were little? Maybe have something done with one of those, a locket? Or a religious gift, if Catholic a nice Rosary. Another simple idea would be a small photo book of pictures from the old neighborhood. I know some places websites have been done showing how the neighborhood looked back when…always nice to reminisce.</p>
<p>Second the digging up old pictures of anything you can find of the family, their house, local hangouts, the elem, jr high, high school, the neighborhood grocery store, drive in even taking digital photos of high school year book pictures of the your friend and siblings and putting then in a digital picture frame.
It will evoke lots of reminiscing and conversation.</p>
<p>Absolutely, photos are a great idea.
Back before digital photographs and online sharing, we often did not get to see pictures of ourselves or our families that OTHER people had taken.</p>
<p>third the pictures, old news articles, maybe a yearbook from when she graduated HS if she did, making a scrapbook or as beerme said a digital picture frame.</p>
<p>Does she have a favorite interest?
Maybe a charitable donation in her honor. You could put the notation in a card attached to a small box of chocolates or tea.
My grandmother was thrilled that we donated to the local women’s shelter in her name.</p>
<p>She was born in Sicily, as was my friend, and they emigrated when he was five. But the photos of the old neighborhood have some promise, as might a print of her native town. I have our old high school yearbook so I could mine that for possibilities. She’ll be staying with my friend for a bit of time, so maybe something consumable–or even flowers. My friend always enjoys it when I give him a single malt–so he’s easy, but I doubt his mother would go for that. This family would make their own wine, so maybe a bottle or two of Sicilian wine–if such exists–could work, but I’d have to check if she’s still drinking it. </p>
<p>The problem is that–as one poster noted–that she probably doesn’t NEED anything, which probably means that it will indeed be the thought that counts</p>
<p>My mother just turned 90. I actually didn’t give her anything specifically for that, but I do give her things at other times, some not related to holidays or anything. She is REALLY enjoying the subscription to The New Yorker I gave her last fall, and she loves the books I pick out for her. (This is an annual Christmas tradition between us going back decades.) She loves gifts of special chocolates, but since I make them that is a no-brainer for me. She would also like something like a special bourbon or scotch. A couple of years ago I gave her some alpaca socks, and she loves them. Another thing I know she has enjoyed in recent years is a special flowering shrub. (She’s a big gardener.) </p>
<p>If you know the person well enough to pick out some very specific item that you know they would enjoy and wouldn’t be burdensome to carry, consume (such as too-big fruit crates), or care for, that’s great. If not, I think that the donation to a cause you know they favor is a good idea. And the photo thing is a winner, if you have the photos in question.</p>
<p>D’s adopted Nana is 89. Gifts she’s loved from us or others include framed photos or photo collages. She LOVES looking at pictures of her kids and grandkids at any age. She loves to read, so books by her favorite authors, and she really dresses up for church, so she enjoys a trip to her favorite store or hat maker. Gift certificates to places she shops are good. She also likes jewelry that she can wear to church-a cross necklace, simple pearl earrings, etc. </p>
<p>Since you’ve known her your whole life, what about having one of those photo books made of you and your friend together, with comments from you about your time with that family?</p>
<p>Maybe a digital photo frame with old pictures…and then add pictures from the birthday party. At the party, maybe ask attendees to contribute pictures they have taken in the past. Tell guest of honor that you’ll add pictures of her 95th party in five years!</p>
<p>Does she like perfume? A bottle of really good perfume can be pricey. It’s the sort of indulgence an elderly woman might really enjoy. </p>
<p>A gift certificate to have her hair and nails “done” at an upscale salon. </p>
<p>A gift certificate for X number of hours driving by a chauffeur if she’s no longer driving. Or maybe just a chauffeur driven limo to take her back and forth to a play, concert or some other special event. Give her the tickets plus the way to get there and back.</p>
<p>My elderly aunt loves to carry around photobooks of her family to show everyone at every chance! Her family always puts together a book an event, be it birthday, wedding, holidays, etc and she brings the latest one to her weekly senior center meeting. We give my mother one of those digital frames and it befuddles her. I think she rather has the photo books. </p>
<p>One of my friends put together her mom’s handwritten recipes along with pictures of the kids growing up. It took a lot of work but quite special and everyone in the family gets a copy of the book.</p>
<p>Be careful about the limo-Nana’s family did that and the guy got LOST, Nana wasn’t sure how to get to the destination, and her daughter had to do some yelling and swearing to get Nana to the right place at the appointed time. Nana was upset, daughters were worried AND upset, and the tone for the evening was off to start with. </p>
<p>But I do like the tickets to a performance idea. Some of the shows can get really expensive, and a lot of the older acts are touring again-people the elderly would enjoy seeing.</p>
<p>Maybe a certificate to a restaurant or coffee shop near her home? My mother is 89 and received a gift card to Denny’s. She loved taking her friends for breakfast after church.</p>
<p>And speaking of church, if she is Sicilian, it is more than 50/50 chance that she is Catholic. If she goes to church, you could have a Birthday Celebration mass to be celebrated in her honor at her church in Florida when she gets home. You just have to call the church and arrange the date and they will send you/her a card.</p>
<p>The photos are really a great idea. I am going to start putting together a photo book for my mother’s 90th. Thanks for the idea!</p>
<p>My mom is 90. I second the photo idea. I bet she would love a framed photo of you and your best friend. My mother is always bemoaning the fact that no one prints pictures anymore—they are all on the computer. </p>
<p>I also agree that consumables are better than knick-knacks. My mom has received Harry and David fruit baskets, Omaha steaks, etc. Food delivered right to the home is always welcome. Perfume is a little iffy unless you know her brand. If my mother is any proof, a 90 year old woman is quite set in her ways, especially where lotions and scents are concerned! :)</p>
<p>I realize that you are living in a different state from your friend’s mother, so this doesn’t really apply to you, but for anyone else interested: I can tell you from experience that a gift certificate to get her nails done, go to the movies, or eat at restaurant would be great – but only if part of the gift is that you take her. My mother no longer drives. She uses a walker, is unsteady on her feet and has trouble with stairs. Her vision and hearing are not perfect. That makes it impossible for her to go anywhere unaccompanied, so if she gets a gift certificate, it means a family member–usually the one who is already overwhelmed with routine caretaking–must be the escort. And actually, it would be nicer for her to go out with someone that she doesn’t usually get a chance to visit with.</p>
<p>A coffee table book of Sicily, a beautiful card in which you write of some special memories you have of her or her cooking along with a pix of you and your friend, a gift cert so she can treat her girlfriends to lunch.</p>
<p>What a wonderful honor it is to be invited to celebrate a 90th BD!</p>