<p>Well, it’s finally happening! We have been spoiled all these many, many years to always be able to spend the Christmas and New Year’s holiday together as an extended family. This year, for the first time, we will have S home for Christmas but NOT for New Year’s (he’s spending it with a friend instead). It was inevitable, but it is bittersweet for H, me and D. My sis and her family will also be leaving town (HI) right after Christmas to spend some holiday time with her inlaws. It’s the first time in quite a few years that my extended clan won’t be together for both holidays (Christmas AND New Year’s). Yes, we know we’re lucky to have had so many happy times together, but it is bittersweet as young adults grow and spend holiday time elsewhere. ;)</p>
<p>We’ve been especially spoiled this year, as S and D were both home for a week and longer in July, plus we were able to visit with S several times away from HI. I’m happy for him that he has someone to spend New Year’s with, but look forward to him sharing more info when he’s ready. :)</p>
<p>This will be the first Thanksgiving that my son will not be here. We are still not sure how long he will be home for Christmas. I am used to him being gone for New Year’s Eve/Day; college friends were more fun than high school friends. I am so happy that he is where he needs to be for his career but it is hard to think of him living on the other side of the country. </p>
<p>This Thanksgiving, my two older daughters will spend the day with their boyfriend’s families. They both live in Boston and we are NJ. They will be here for Christmas , but not New Year’s . It is rare that we are all together that holiday anyway…I think it was three years ago that we were all together. I don’t like my chicks scattered , but no much I can do about it </p>
<p>My youngest d is overseas and will miss Thanksgiving and Christmas. She just had her birthday overseas too. I miss her but I know she is happy and experiencing new things. We adapt and skype. It is certainly not the same by a long shot. It is bittersweet but I think that is life. I know that there will be a hollow spot in my heart this Christmas so I plan to keep busy.</p>
<p>Well,Himom, I am envious of your glass half full. My son and s/o decided tickets for t-day too expensive, so staying put in CA. For xmas, they will be with her family. I’ll be with friends, but do miss seeing my son. </p>
<p>Yes, we are very fortunate. S is probably thinking he’s been seeing more than enough of us, as he saw us for a week in Oct/Nov, plus will be with us for two weeks in Nov/Dec and then a week in Dec, plus we will be in DC for a week in Dec and inevitably take him out for one or more meals. I know that D will be sad that he’s not around, as the two of them are very close, but we’re happy for him that he has someone he wants to spend New Year’s with. Hoping someday to learn more about this mystery person too. Am glad we have D in our home for two months!</p>
<p>It’s funny, we’ve been seeing S more now that he’s working 5000 miles away than we did when he was in college 2500 miles away. I’m glad he’s figuring out a good work-life balance for himself and it seems like he’s meeting some people he enjoys spending time with. Wish he shared more, but each person has to find their balance. <sigh></sigh></p>
<p>Well both D’s were on trimesters in college and 1000-2000 miles away. Finals were right around the corner, so they learned to have thanksgiving with the locals and had really enjoyed it through the years. We rarely get to see them on a holiday (however this Christmas D2 is coming !) so we always just are thankful when we get to see them wherever they are on the globe!</p>
<p>Oldest daughter lives in a remote village in Alaska, so I haven’t seen her in well over a year. But we are going to the younger one’s house for Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>And she just informed me that we are taking a mother/daughter trip to Disney World in May. It’s nice having a financially comfortable daughter to spoil me.</p>
<p>Ah, the inevitable as the kids grow up and get jobs and SOs. My D is a recent graduate with a new job and only gets 3 days off at Christmas. We’re thankful for that. Since it won’t be feasible for her to travel to London, we’re all meeting at Grandmother’s house in Arkansas. We won’t see either kid at Thanksgiving, but we haven’t had that holiday together since the oldest started college (except for the one year that we went to Disneyworld.)</p>
<p>Wow, this thread is making me sad. We only got a teeny taste last year when oldest DS left around 4:00 to go to his GF’s the rest of Thanksgiving…at least he was here for my meal! My brother and his family were in town and I had bought a movie we could all watch together late in the evening, etc. I know it’s small, but it was weird him leaving…and only showed me what is coming down the road.</p>
<p>Sadly, we’ve had this situation for several years now. This is what happens as the “children” get their own adult lives. Situations with their SO’s family become important, and they live too far away to make it home for both Thanksgiving and the Christmas/New Year holidays. I remember myself in my 20s, when I realized what a hassle it was to travel over Thanksgiving weekend. It’s sad for us, but it’s the normal progression of things – that they meet someone they love, move to a place that’s better suited to their career, and start to build their own life. This should make us happy. </p>
<p>I went home with an aquaintence over Thanksgiving my freshman year in college instead of traveling out of state with my family. I was miserable and I swore I would never be away from family on holidays again, and so far I haven’t. </p>
<p>Second Thanksgiving and Christmas in a row D will not be home.Fiance trumps parents. I can hardly believe it. Last year we planned to spend the holidays in Germany with her, but since it may very well be one of my parents last holidays …better to spend it with them. But I have the warm fuzzies when we skype and I can share recipes with her. She and her partner are having over 18 people over for Thanksgiving. That heartens me to think she has made so many friends there. But it does make our table seem that much more empty. I did not decorate at all last year since we were in the middle of a remodel and I am sorely tempted to leave all that stuff in the attic this year as well. oh pooh…</p>
<p>As someone who remembers very well, the agony of trying to figure out “what to do” in terms of holidays once I gained a SO, I would encourage you to try your best to be upbeat and supportive with your children who aren’t able to make it - Skype or Facetime can be the next best thing! </p>
<p>Often it’s not that kids don’t want to be there or that they’d rather be with SO’s family, but that traveling, taking time off or even they just didn’t win the holiday war with their spouse of where to go didn’t go in their favor. </p>
<p>I just remember SOOO well being conflicted when we first got married over what we could manage to do for the holidays - and to still try and not be overwhelmed and stressed in the process ourselves! </p>
<p>It stinks for sure not to be able to be with those you love during special times - make your glass as half full as you can! </p>
<p>This is only one aspect in my life that makes my glass 7/8’s empty. (OK OK 1/8th full). I certainly do not pressure her or gripe to her. If I was young, in love, being paid to perform my art in a romantic European city, I know where I would be!!!</p>
<p>I find acknowledging the bittersweet nature of changes allows me to better move forward cheerfully. We have never told either kid we were sad they couldn’t spend Thanksgiving or any other holiday with us when they were in school and we aren’t starting now. I admit to being surprised when S said yesterday that he wouldn’t be with us for Nee Year’s, until D figured out he will be with friends 5000 miles away–not working. </p>
<p>I recall not coming home at all except for summers for the 6 years I was away at school. My parents weren’t happy, I’m sure but never complained. All 7 of us did move back to HI and spend as much time together as we can that more than makes up for the holidays we couldn’t share, IMHO. </p>
<p>We’re hoping our kids and their SOs will move to HI before starting their families too. Time will tell / </p>
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I know that D will be sad that he’s not around, as the two of them are very close, but we’re happy for him that he has someone he wants to spend New Year’s with. Hoping someday to learn more about this mystery person too. 
Am glad we have D in our home for two months!</p>