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<p>Who wears khakis and polos to a wedding? I don’t know anyone who needs to be told not to wear khakis and polos to a wedding. </p>
<p>There will be many women at the wedding in short black lace cocktail dresses. It is the perfect choice. A fancy wedding in New York on New Years Eve sounds like a lot of fun! Tell her to relax and enjoy!</p>
<p>From the site:</p>
<p>“Gowns purchased at Caché stores may be exchanged or returned within 14 days of purchase. Gowns purchased at <a href=“http://www.cache.com”>www.cache.com</a> may be exchanged or returned within 14 days of delivery.
Final Sale
Items marked Final Sale on the product page, price ticket, or receipt may not be returned or exchanged”</p>
<p>The way I read it, if the description does not say “final sale”, you can return it within 2 weeks of accepting delivery. That said, your D still might be better off putting the money into a nice pair of shoes. She will definitely be not the only one wearing a short dress! </p>
<p>Black tie optional is fairly common and as this will be the start of many weddings to come, an investment in 1 or 2 black dresses is a good idea. Very few weddings or events call for formal dresses these days and the majority of men, my DH included always wear a dark suit, white dress shirt and tie. He does have a tux but you know tux fashion comes and goes and there is nothing worse in my opinion than an outdated tux.</p>
<p>Sometimes it is harder when the wedding is called for “dressy casual”. Both my d’s have several friends that have gotten married and they do have a variety of dresses that can be used. Actually younger d just attended a college friend’s wedding that was a 5 PM wedding, dinner and dancing to follow. She wore a short black dress, one of her friends wore a long black dress and d’s boyfriend wore a dark suit, white shirt and tie. </p>
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<p>I actually know many people around us who attend weddings in khakis and a polo. It is pretty common in my extended family/friends network, believe it or not. </p>
<p>We recently attended a BTO wedding held in a very posh downtown Boston hotel. As others have said, short cocktail dresses --black was the dominate color choice–were the norm as were dark suits. The bride told me she put BTO on the invitations because she was concerned that some of her husband’s single guy friends would wear khakis and she didn’t want that look at her wedding. Also mentioned that she has some girl friends who enjoy having an occasion to wear their long dresses~ </p>
<p>I was taught the time of the wedding dictated the dress—the later the affair, the dressier the affair! Still believe that’s a good rule of thumb.</p>
<p>Cocktail attire is standard for women at black tie optional events in my experience. If the BF doesn’t own a dark suit, renting a tux is the easiest thing.</p>
<p>One of my BILs had a black tie wedding during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I wore a short black silk chiffon skirt, off-white silk shell, and black sequin jacket. That was the look they were aiming for. (And it was in the midwest. 
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<p>“Who wears khakis and polos to a wedding? I don’t know anyone who needs to be told not to wear khakis and polos to a wedding.”</p>
<p>You obviously have not been to many formal events in the PNW. Here “dressy casual” could mean nicer cargo shorts and Birks to quite a few folks. ;)</p>
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We did, apparently the engraved invitation and 6 pm time wasn’t a hint that it was a formal wedding. Everyone else wore suits, the wedding party and immediate family wore tuxes. I think most of the younger women were in short dresses. The Moms had long dresses. We were all grad students (and nerdy science grad students to boot!) so while people wore their dressiest clothes, my recollection is that they weren’t as dressy as what I am seeing at weddings now.</p>
<p>I’ve been to plenty of formal East Coast weddings - none were black tie, though the groom and other men in the wedding parties usually wore tuxes.</p>
<p>Thanks to all my friends here. D feels much better, instead of being stressed she can concentrate on picking a dress out of her closet. Even if the dress doesn’t fit, it will be so much easier to find a short dress. And it will get lots of wear I’m sure. </p>
<p>Technically, there is no such thing as “black tie optional.” “Black tie” actually refers to the formality of the event. Dressy cocktail length dresses and dark suit/white shirt/dark tie are always acceptable substitutes, regardless. There is nothing any more inappropriate about throwing a formal event than a back yard barbecue. </p>
<p>That said, most times an invitation calls for “optional,” you’ll see everything from short to long dresses. It’s true that young women very frequently wear short cocktail dresses to black tie events. Being that this is New Year’s Eve, I think you’ll see a combination. She will be fine in a short black dressy dress. </p>
<p>I don’t think dress length matters unless they mention it.</p>
<p>I was invited to a black tie optional wedding when I was in grad school. At the time, I had no dresses that weren’t bought to wear under a cap and gown and my spouse had one light grey suit for interviews. I laughed and laughed. It was at Tavern on the Green, would have been nice, and I was good friends with the bride (not quite bridesmaid, but good friends).</p>
<p>I have been to events that turned out to be “black tie optional” in that many of the male guests were in tuxes, but many were not and a nice pants suit for women was not an issue at all, nor was a light grey suit :)</p>
<p>Honestly, I feel it is more about avoiding people wearing jeans or outrageously inappropriate clothing. Like a friend of mine got fired for (wearing sweatpants that said “JUICY” across the rearend to work…).</p>
<p>And “frock” - art though a Pilgrim emilybee? Or art though from Mother England or Australia ?</p>
<p>There aren’t many events nowadays where long dresses are expected. If an event is white tie, or if it is called a “ball,” or if it’s at the Oscars, wear a long dress. Otherwise, both short and long are appropriate.</p>
<p>“And “frock” - art though a Pilgrim emilybee? Or art though from Mother England or Australia”</p>
<p>No, though art not. 
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<p>I recently attended a Andrew’s Ball. All the women wore long gowns. The only short hemlines were on the men who wore kilts. </p>
<p>She is not well versed in fancy east coast weddings, frankly. We are simple people from the Midwest …</p>
<p>a reverse snobbism zinger if I ever saw one?</p>
<p>Has your daughter considered renting a dress? She can look at <a href=“http://www.renttherunway.com”>www.renttherunway.com</a> and rent a dress between 35 and 80 for a 4 day rental. The will send her the dress in 2 sizes and she can send it back.</p>