I got accepted to a premier arts boarding school this year for theater as a Junior (2018). I thought i would love it as i went to an arts camp in new york (Long Lake), however it is not what I expected. Besides the extremely strenuous work load academically and artistically, the social scene and being so far away from home kills me. I had to leave early for winter break as I would keep having panic attacks over how anxious I constantly was, wether it was about not being good enough or knowing enough, friend issues, homesickness, or anything else. I also had an AWFUL roommate/dorm hall last semester. If i went back i would have a new roommate, but no where to really feel like i’m relaxing. That’s the thing. I need free time and time to myself in able to function properly and I simply cannot get that with this school. I miss my family so badly and I want to stay here with them. They agree that I should stay, but I almost feel pressured to return for the following reasons:
-I was accepted when others were turned down
-I’ve made some good friendships there that I wouldn’t like to lose
-I am learning so much about the world and art and myself
I’ve begun to lose interest in theater and persuading it. I don’t want to do it in college- I want to do music in college. And although the town that my family lives in isn’t as prestigious my geared towards absolute excellence in the arts, there are PLENTY OF oppourintities for me here regarding both theater and music…
What should i do? Please help… I don’t know what to do and it’s 3am and my plane leaves tomorrow morning and I need to make a decision. Thanks.