<p>My boyfriend, “Dan”, lives at a fraternity and has a bit of a weird roommate. This roommate, “Joe”, started off normal and throughout this semester has gotten creepier and creepier. Last semester, he got really drunk and came on to me in front of my boyfriend and even tried to have sex with me. Didn’t work and my friends came to my rescue. Still, my boyfriend is his roommate because Dan thinks he can help Joe with his mental issues… This guy really creeps me out. This semester, he randomly calls Dan and says “We need to talk” in a really serious tone and Dan will go to talk and Joe will just yell at him for no reason. Now, Joe is changing his appearance to look more like my boyfriend. Joe started growing a goatee when Dan did, got an ear piercing like Dan’s, is planning on lightening his dark brown hair to Dan’s blondish color, and is getting colored contacts! This is scary! Plus, he has asked people to start calling him Dan! ***? What should I do in my situation being the girlfriend?</p>
<p>Why are you here asking us when all of the “warning signs” that you clearly state here haven’t made you find a healty group of friends? What are you getting out of this? People don’t do service for zero payoff? What is the payoff that is keeping you doing service?</p>
<p>if it bothers your boyfriend( considering you don’t have to live with him, it’s not really your problem) then perhaps your boyfriend should just confront this guy. moving to another room would merely be a temporary solution.</p>
<p>I have a healthy group of friends. This “Joe” is not one of them. He is my boyfriend’s roommate who is very disturbing and because of the roommate status, believes he can attach himself to us. I am asking what to do about this guy. My boyfriend likes his fraternity and wants to stay there, so even if he changes rooms, this “Joe” will still be there causing problems. </p>
<p>Your comment “People don’t do service for zero payoff? What is the payoff that is keeping you doing service?” makes no sense and is not relevant to this posting. What are you trying to say?</p>
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***</p>
<p>You mention “friends” but not “boyfriend”…hmmmmmm</p>
<p>The big question is about your boyfriend. Who cares about a weird roommate? I’d wonder why your boyfriend has such a boundary issue w/ what you consider a creepy guy.</p>
<p>Friends included boyfriend. I had about 8 of my good friends in the room including my boyfriend next to me. My boyfriend is not the issue of this posting. He and I have no problems and we have a nice healthy relationship. Other than that, his and my relationship is my personal business and no one elses. </p>
<p>I am asking what measures should I or my boyfriend take against this guy?</p>
<p>have you even spoken with “joe” about his behavior concerning you?</p>
<p>If the brothers in the house see no issue then you are sunk. If the behaviour is as offensive as you suggest then I’d say the brothers have a problem…not just your boyfriend. Who is the chapter president? I mean the frat is an organization with officers and I am sure your boyfriend knows these brothers.</p>
<p>Maybe you should watch
**</p>
<p>what. a . weirdo.</p>
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**</p>
<p>Why would your boyfriend tolerate his boorish roommate’s behavior? I mean why would this become an issue for you? Most guys who had their GF assaulted by a brother would have banned his existence anytime you were invited to the room. Nice that you think your boyfriend has defended your honor. I just don’t happen to agree w/ you.</p>
<p>You have a very good cause to be freaked out, you need to do something about this $%#@ed up person.</p>
<p>Rent “Single White Female” and watch it together. See if he reacts.</p>
<p>There is no other option than to have sex with the roommate, but do it badly so he won’t bother you again. You could also move your boyfriend in with you. You could also take a contract out on the roommate’s life. You know what, don’t do any of these things, they are all horrible ideas.</p>
<p>Is your boyfriend aware that you think this guy is a creep? Did you and your boyfriend write the OP of this thread? Have you found out if your boyfriend thinks the same way about joe as you do? Maybe your boyfriend is of a differing opinion about it… if both you and your boyfriend feel the same way about this dude, then just have a little chit chat with him face to face about what you think is going on, try to get to the same page with him…also understand that drunk people do weird things (referring to the drunken incident in the OP), and then just move on, knowing that not every one in the world is the same, and some people react to things differently than others.</p>
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<p>… I believe there are legal options when things like this happen.</p>
<p>that brings up an interesting scenario, question?</p>
<p>how does one determine at which point somebody is “trying to have sex with them” while in the company of a bunch of other people? Where does the line sit on this one? Is it perception, were private parts being exposed, were there vertical positionings, it’s sort of a curious statement to make unless there was a clear move made towards sex as opposed to just groping, licking, grabbing, hugging, and these sorts of drunkard obnoxiousings (I made this word up, hope you can understand it!!).</p>
<p>Gee that sounds like a party at Brown! Yea…how credible is a statement about 8 friends around and yet nobody “deals” with the drunken “brother”…not very. Me thinks she dost protest too much.</p>
<p>I think you should post this on the parents forum. If this guy is harrassing you, legal options might work. The parents might know more about legal things.</p>
<p>yeah what do you mean “tried tp have sex with me”? cuz how does someone “try” to do that w/o using force if you didn’t want to? In which case it would be an attempted rape, and you need to call some sort of social services, if not the police. </p>
<p>Or do you mean you think he had that on his mind? Cuz if thats what you meant, that’s a whole different story. And just so you know, if that is in fact what you meant, and you are attractive, a whole lot of guys have “tried to have sex with you,” probably half of them you don’t even know about.</p>
<p>hazmat, she is asking what she should do about this creep…not her boyfriend. There is no need to attack their relationship.</p>