Boys and dress clothes

Parent Cafe
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<p>My 13 year-old boy will be going to a private high school in the fall which includes a dress code. I’ve never had a teenaged boy before, so I’m making myself nuts about this. If anyone has advice or suggestions, please send them my way!</p>

<p>The uniform consists of dockers in either beige, brown, black, navy or gray all year. From September to November 1, they wear a cotton/nylon blend golf shirt purchased from the school. They tend to be bright colors like purple, orange, black, shades of blue, etc.
From November 1 to spring break, they wear the dockers-type pants and a solid, light-colored shirt with tie of choice.</p>

<p>The boy is now 5’5 and weighs 96 pounds. All legs. </p>

<p>Among the questions:</p>

<p>The school wanted us to buy the golf shirts at orientation, but I said no because he is growing fast. At this age, when would you buy, how many would you buy, and how big would you buy them?</p>

<p>Dress shirts: same questions, but does anyone know anything about how men’s shirts are sized? My husband doesn’t really wear dress shirts so I’m at a loss. Any fabrics we should prefer or avoid?</p>

<p>Do men/boys generally wear a plain white t-shirt under all dress shirts?</p>

<p>How many belts should he have?</p>

<p>How many ties, and what fabrics should we prefer or avoid? Also, thoughts on silly ties? He is a musician and I’ve found some adorable silk ties with his instruments doing silly things like dressing up in Halloween costumes or being played by frogs.</p>

<p>Pants: any recommended brands for a kid who is growing fast and is also a bit of a pig? How many do you think he needs to start the school year?</p>

<p>Do boys’ feet also grow a lot in this time period? He wears a 9 1/2 shoe now and the uniform shoes are expensive. Can they be purchased large or is that not appropriate in shoes?</p>

<p>Should socks match shoes, tie, belt, anything?</p>

<p>Formal attire: he needs a tuxedo shirt, pants and formal shoes. Any suggestions for a good place? Also fabric? Are formal shoes for men specifically patent leather or are there options?</p>

<p>Thank you for getting this far. Girls are so much easier at this age because (a) I was a girl, (b) they don’t grow this quickly, and (c) they speak.</p>

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<p>Oh, Zoosermom! You’re in my three-boy wheel house now. The first question to ask yourself is: how much laundry do you (or does he) want to do? I would buy three of the polos, and I would buy them in a roomy size, e.g., a size larger than he is now. If he is going to be wearing khaki-like Dockers, buy the darker khaki color (shows less stains) and get a kind that will wash and dry well without ironing. The same with dress shirts–the best thing that has happened in men’s dress shirts is the advent of no-iron shirts in more brands than pricey Brooks Brothers ones. He needs a white and blue one–maybe two of one color. Ties can be anything he wants. I would go for brown dress shoes and belt. Not patent–too dressy. There are great brands (Bass, e.g.,) who make simple lace-up shoes that are comfortable. It would be kind of mean to make him wear shoes that are too large, but “room to grow” would be fine. You WILL be buying all new for sophomore year. They have this habit of growing like crazy. You might want to see if there are any parent groups that do swaps for blazers at the end of the year. Also, ask any friends who have had kids who have had to buy a blazer for an event (wedding, etc.) whose child might have outgrown it. </p>

<p>As far as where to shop, I am a HUGE Macy’s fan–you can usually find good sales and their salespeople are very helpful. If the pants are long, e.g., you can have them hemmed, but not cut so they can be let down if necessary.</p>

<p>And here is the biggest trick: if your son finds shoes that are comfortable, shirts you like, pants etc., USE THE INTERNET. I’ve found Amazon carries a lot of the clothing products we use, or other sites, and you can get great discounts over full retail. Also read reviews about fabric wear, etc. </p>

<p>For my musician son, I was able to find a formal wear outlet store where we got his shirt, pants and shoes. </p>

<p>Though this all sounds daunting, this kind of uniform will be very easy for him to put together once he has all the pieces. Let him pick the ties to show his personality–if he’s outgoing, he might go crazy, but if he’s reserved at first, he might choose something very simple. You can get great cheap ties at Goodwill, even Target.</p>

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<p>SJTH, thank you thank you thank you! You’ve given me great advice and I’m taking notes. I particularly like the swap idea. I also plan to tell my husband to expect to buy all new in sophomore year so he is prepared. </p>

<p>I don’t particularly love to do laundry, but hubby will do much of it, excluding ironing, so that will be my contribution.</p>

<p>Boy has now decided that he wants to grow his hair out. It is a disgusting mess. The new school’s only rules are that it can’t be a “hair color not found in nature” or “a hairstyle comprised of images or words shaved into the hair.” So he plans to be a raggy haired slob.</p>

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<p>Having had two sons go through high school with dress code I can offer some advice. For the Dockers pants. Buy a waist size that fits now and a longer length. Take a deep hem and let it down when needed. Both sons had regular boring ties as well as some fun ones-ie. holidays and cartoon characters etc. Great conversation starters but not until a few weeks into school-don’t want to pigeon hole themselves. </p>

<p>Shirts are sold by neck width and sleeve length. I highly recommend Brooks Brothers no iron shirts. They are kind of pricey but they come out of the dryer looking great. Great investment. Same thing for the pants. Don’t buy shoes until the week before school starts and even then they will probably be outgrown before you get home from the store.</p>

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<p>First…I DO want to say that girls are NOT easier in the dress clothes department:)</p>

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<p>Why not buy two at orientation that are one size larger than what he is currently wearing? It sounds like you will need to buy more anyway as the school year progresses.</p>

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<p>They make dress shirts in BOYS sizes too if that is what he currently wears. You should get something that does NOT need ironing…so probably 100% cotton isn’t going to be a good choice (although I will say, my husband who DOES wear dress shirts has ONE 100% cotton shirt that is a winner in the no ironing department). </p>

<p>I would suggest you go to your nearest Macys or the like and have your kiddo try on some men’s size shirts. I will say…until my son wore a 15, we found the selection to be rather poor…and we stuck to boys sizes (which are less expensive).</p>

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<p>My guys wear white v-neck tees under their dress shirts…always.</p>

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<p>One…unless he is prone to losing them. My guys have one brown and one black. The black gets worn a lot…the brown…not so much so.</p>

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<p>My son is a musician too. He hated those “silly” ties…personally I would not buy them. For a musician, you should have two black straight ties, and then perhaps a solid or two (my kid has red, burgundy and that’s it). He also has one striped tie…red/grey/black. NO music notes, no instruments, no Santas, no pumpkins, etc.</p>

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<p>Dockers…minimum of two pair. They wash well.</p>

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<p>My opinion…get him shoes that FIT.</p>

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<p>My kid wears socks that match his pants…the pants match his shoes. In most cases he wears black socks. He also has white ones to wear with sneakers. TIP…buy ONLY one kind of each kind of sock…that way you don’t have to worry about pairing them up.</p>

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<p>Just nice black dress shoes will be fine. You don’t have to get patent leather (my son is a professional musician and has NEVER had patent leather shoes). For tuxes…look at your local consignment shops. Also check with the tux shops…many sell used ones for a good prices. Our kid found that a lightweight wool hung the best.</p>

<p>Get a BUNCH of black bow ties. Put them EVERYWHERE…tux pocket, instrument case, desk drawer, they get misplaced often.</p>

<p>Ditto extra set of tux studs.</p>

<p>Shirts…go with a cotton/poly blend that doesn’t need ironing. </p>

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<p>A musician MUST have black dress shoes…its a MUST. You can’t wear brown with your tux…nope. </p>

<p>DS had black dress shoes, sneakers, and a pair of brown more casual shoes that tied.</p>

<p>You must have a VERY low maintenance girl.</p>

6

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Excellent advice. Thank you!</p>

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Sigh. I’m sure you’re right.</p>

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<p>My boys uniform shirt/dress shirt size didn’t really change much in high school. My boys wore the same size uniform shirts for all four years. Now, pants, that’s another story. Their pant lengths went from a 29 to a 33 during the 4 years because of height growth.</p>

<p>My boys wore a size M (mens) polos, and a 15 1/5 neck/33 sleeve length dress shirt all four years.</p>

<p>If your son is more likely just to grow in height, but not a whole bunch in “girth” (he’ll stay slender), then he’ll probably wear about the same shirt size for at least a year or two…or maybe the whole time.</p>

<p>My boys always wore a Tshirt under their school polos…the school wasn’t too strict about this and they would wear a contrasting color. Their polos were red, blue, white, green, navy, yellow, burgundy, and black, so they would either wear a white T or a contrast color T underneath.</p>

<p>They had to wear a belt…black or brown leather were the choices. And they wore Sperry’s…brown.</p>

<p>For socks…most of the kids wore white so PE change was easier. But some wore khaki colored socks.</p>

<p>(oh…and we kept an extra belt in the bottom of their backpacks…just in case they got to school and realized that they didn’t have one on…saved getting a detention and a call for mom to bring them one.)</p>

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I didn’t know that. Great advice. We have a Macy’s right nearby.</p>

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He has to wear black shoes every day, they’re like fancier work shoes, very sturdy and the pants can be a variety of colors. Go with black socks?</p>

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This is genius.</p>

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I have two. One is high maintenance and one low, but both speak clearly and in a language that I comprehend. I don’t do so well with translating grunts, slackening jaws and eyes rolling.</p>

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He seems to be built like my brothers, who both have a 30 inch waist into their 50s, they are all long and thin. So I suspect son won’t really fill out too much.</p>

<p>We did get him one golf shirt. He chose the Barney purple. I smiled and nodded.</p>

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<p>I would suggest shopping in the Land’s End section at Sears for boys this age. I agree with the no wrinkle dress shirt suggestion. I also like the durability of the dockers style pants that Land’s End sells.<br>
I would definitely wait on the shoes until school is about to start - my experience has been when the feet grow they grow several sizes at once. The polos can probably be purchased one size up from what he wears now. Mom to 4 boys here! And…I like the silly ties but I would see what your son prefers. I would definitely not spend much on the ties - they tend to get spills on them as well as get lost. Goodluck!</p>

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<p>Quote:</p>

<h1>Do boys’ feet also grow a lot in this time period? He wears a 9 1/2 shoe now and the uniform shoes are expensive. Can they be purchased large or is that not appropriate in shoes?</h1>

<p>Each son had at least two pairs of shoes that were “school approved”. That way if a shoe went missing, they still had a pair.</p>

<p>When you have kids going to Uniform Schools, you have to have safety nets…like belts in backpacks, extra shoes, extra polos (at least 6), extra pants, etc. You don’t want to be caught without clean uniforms to wear, a missing belt, or missing shoes.</p>

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Trying to figure out his preferences is like reading tea leaves. I’m convinced he is trying to drive me crazy! Unless I’ve already arrived . . . </p>

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He is a slob. Thank you!</p>

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Oof. Right. Hadn’t thought of that.</p>

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<p>Boys/men are quite variable in their growth spurts so that could add to your aggravation. Personally, I started high school at 4’11" and went from 5’2" to 5’7" in the summer between sophomore and junior years…and all the classmates…including the girls noticed and asked “What did you eat?!!”. Ended high school around my present height…a smidgen under 6’. </p>

<p>Moreover, boys/young men can continue to grow into their early 20s as I’ve seen with several friends…though my growth stopped by the time I started college. </p>

<p>My shoe size only grew slightly during my high school years (9.5 - 10.5/11). Though it can be tight…I can still technically wear my 8th grade shoes if they hadn’t disintegrated from overuse/abuse. :D</p>

<p>If you can get away with using hand-me-downs from older cousins/siblings…this is a good time to do so. If not…you can try buying a size or few larger…though that may not really help if the growth spurt is greater than expected in a given time period as it was in my case.</p>

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<h1>How many ties, and what fabrics should we prefer or avoid?</h1>

<p>Don’t laugh, but my kids hate tying ties, so along with some standard silk ties, they have some “zipper ties” (lol)…they’re much better than clip-on, but they’re really fast to put on.</p>

<p>[Zipper</a> Ties by Absolute Ties](<a href=“http://www.absoluteties.com/ziclonti.html]Zipper”>http://www.absoluteties.com/ziclonti.html)</p>

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<p>You’re lucky that pants colors other than khaki are acceptable. Boys are notorious for getting ink on khaki pants (keep lots of fresh high strength rubbing alcohol in the house!)</p>

<p>Having your son wear pants other than khaki may mean less stains to deal with. </p>

<p>And, boys are famous for having a pen in their pocket and it goes thru the laundry and gets ink everywehre. (again, more rubbing alcohol…lol)</p>

<p>Oh…and write his name with a laundry marker in EVERYTHING. Since all the other students have the same clothes, things get mixed up and no one knows whose things are whose…unless there’s a name inside. A regular sharpie won’t work…you need to use a marker that won’t wash out.</p>

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This gives me hope!</p>

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I’m not laughing. This is why I posted. I love you people!!!</p>

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I never would have thought of that but I’m going to get that marker. When he started middle school he lost four jackets/coats in the first semester. And they were unique!</p>

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<p>Clip-ons are ok, but it will still be a good idea to get someone to teach him how to tie a proper tie and to practice. The second is necessary as I’ve actually lost my tie tying skills from spending too many years in offices where extremely loose business casual was the accepted norm and I was forced to re-teach myself this skill a few days before a friend’s wedding this past summer.*</p>

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<li>I hate dressing up in corporate/formal wear so I only do it on formal family occasions or once in a long blue moon meeting with outside clients/parties. There’s a reason why even a few former supervisors called it a “monkey suit”.</li>
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<p>^^</p>

<p>Yes…my boys do know how to tie a tie…they actually have a YouTube “how to” video bookmarked as a reference when they forget how. It shows everything in a mirror image so you can easily follow along.</p>

<p>But…when mornings are rushed, a zipper tie is on in no time flat. Loop over head, and pull down that part of the tie that hangs behind the front of the tie (does that part have an official name??? lol )</p>

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<p>I would suggest looking in the boys department for shirts given his size. Our youngest is 6’ tall and 122 lbs, fully dressed. The smallest men’s dress shirts hang on him but his arms are too long for the boys size shirts. They should fit your son well. I would suggest a place like Kohl’s or Nordstrom that have good return policies and then look right after Easter for the shirts to go on sale. I would have him plan on wearing a cotton t-shirt under the dress shirt. It is just more comfortable. We also had very good luck with the dress pants at Nordstrom for our boys over the years. They were reasonably priced and wore very well–and they washed up great. It was the only place we could find slim dress pants that were long enough in the legs.</p>

<p>As for ties. Let him pick out the ones he wants. That will be the one way he will be able to express himself. I would avoid the “cute” ties unless he picks them out. I would only get 2 ties for now and then let him see what the other kids are wearing and go back and buy more then.</p>

<p>The band kids here have to wear ties for performances, etc. Most of the kids tie the tie and leave it tied until the next time. I agree, it’s a good skill to learn for a boy and it isn’t that difficult to learn.</p>