<p>My S is going to prom tonight. I think that he’s happy to go to dances. Dances are pretty low key at his school. It’s very acceptable to ask a friend to dances, and they girls have always said yes. </p>
<p>This prom is different. This year he has a girlfriend. I’m a little freaked out. This is his first girlfriend, I thought that it would never happen.</p>
<p>Major LOL, Elleneast.</p>
<p>I know a lot of my male students who don’t care about prom, and others who want to go primarily as arite of passage. Interestingly, my male foreign exchange student went to 2 proms when he was here, and Homecoming, and did it all! He came as a shy, “don’t know what to do with girls” young man and blossomed! He wanted to go to prom for the experience, since there is nothing like it in Germany. He loved every minute of it! And the girls were thrilled to have a date. As for my D, a group of 8 went together, 6 girls, 2 boys and all friends. Now, that’s the way to do it. They had a blast. A lot of kids go in groups without dates and just go for the experience. No need for the girls to stay home.</p>
<p>Put me in the ‘girls who hate proms’ category.</p>
<p>Same here beck… I never went to any of mine back in high school.</p>
<p>I think it is important to teach our kids that when in a relationship, it is important to be able “set aside” some minor dislikes/discomforts for their significant other. </p>
<p>I have too many friends whose husbands will not “put themselves out” for a few hours once a year to attend the high school’s annual dinner dance for the parents. These same wives routinely attend functions that aren’t their “cup of tea” for the sake of their husbands (yet they get no appreciation for it). </p>
<p>I think it is sad that some kids (a lot of males) have been raised to think that they should never had to do something or go somewhere “if they don’t WANT to.” How selfish!!! Part of “growing up” is doing things to make others happy (as long as it is not illegal, immoral, etc).</p>
<p>It’s only ONE night! So what is the big deal???</p>
<p>S1 went to the prom junior and senior year. Both years it was with a serious girlfriend(different girl each year,lol). Both years every time I would ask a question about the plans he would answer “I don’t know. The girls are handling it. They’ll just tell us (guys) when to show up and what to do.”
Senior year he was lying under his truck (installing a “lift kit”…another nightmare) up until 45 minutes before time to go to his date’s house. Quick shower and shave,throw on the tux, take off in car, ooopps…forgot the corsage, back home to get it and start again. Never did get all the truck grease completely off his hands!</p>
<p>It does turn into quite a pricey event for something that they’re not really excited about. I’m pretty sure he had a good time but it was nothing compared to the Spring Break trip (which was the “most awesome week ever”).</p>
<p>I agree w/ jlauer. If the boy is single and doesn’t want to go, then go have a bowling party or whatever. But if it’s important to his gf to go, then he should go willingly.</p>
<p>And BTW, it astounds me when I hear about husbands (unfortunately its usually the men) who whine about going to their spouses’ or kids’ events</p>
<p>“Luckily, my d DID attend her junior prom. But she didn’t go to senior prom because the only guys who asked her were ‘losers’. She ended up going out with several girlfriends that night. They all complained that the Senior guys (the ‘acceptable’ ones) all asked younger girls and how unfair that was.”</p>
<p>I think I see where your daughter is coming from. It seems like most boys just want a pretty girl on their arm at prom but don’t have the guts or respect to ask girls in their own grade BEFORE resorting to girls from different grades or even different schools. There are plenty of pretty girls who never get asked to their own prom. It drives them batty. In my school, the senior boys ask junior or sophomore girls to senior prom instead of asking their own friends who don’t have a date. This isn’t an issue of comfort–they’ve never spoken to these underclassmen girls at all!</p>
<p>Along with my previous points, I do think that prom has gotten ridiculously expensive. If that is what is causing some boys (and girls) to dislike the prom then I understand that point. I can understand why a kid with limited access to money would balk at dipping into his/her very limited funds for the prom.</p>
<p>Peachy: This seems to a problem all over – boys asking much younger girls or asking girls from other schools. BUT, there is another side to the story… My son asked a girl (a good friend) to homecoming and she said “no” (she wanted someone else to ask her) but she never got asked, so she went alone. My son went with another girl. Sometimes boys are “afraid” to ask girls from their own class because they fear what answers they may get. They know that the younger girls won’t say “no”. </p>
<p>I do know that girls today are much likely to say “no” to a boy then when I was in school. When I was in school, we were told it was impolite to turn down a date unless you already had one. I don’t think that rule was ever taught to girls today.</p>
<p>I know that when I was a sr when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I wasn’t interested in the boys at my hs so I asked a boy who was a freshman in college (at which my mother was appalled). Ironically, DD did the same thing just today! (and HER mom was proud)… History repeats itself…I really think it’s a maturity issue.</p>
<p>jlauer:</p>
<p>I agree completely. I made it very clear to my son that once he agreed he was going he better do it with a HAPPY FACE. I also told him that if you have a girlfriend at prom time, you ARE going to the prom, whether you want to or not (assuming she wants to go).</p>
<p>At my Ds school, only Jr and Srs are alllowed at prom,no underclassman, a few Sr with a Soph GF were mad, but sorry, don’t care, and those Jrs. going after Frosh girls, well, they had to ask girls there own age, and it worked out jsut fine</p>
<p>They made that decision because many many of the underclass (and I use that term accurately) girls showed no class, drank, didn’t care, cause it wasn’t their prom, and some were in over their heads, so the new rules were made…this year, no dramas with 14 yos out with 18 yos…</p>
<p>As well, sometimes guys have to do stuff they don’t want to do, and the guys get off easy,</p>
<p>I mean, we all know as adults, and these are fledgling adults, go to events we aren’t super excited about going to, at first, but often it turns out pretty good</p>
<p>Weenie, good for you!!! I would be the same</p>
<p>My d and her friends all got asked (or asked) guy friends, no pressure, had a great time and looked so pretty</p>
<p>One friends “BF”- not a fave of anyone, skipped school, so got grounded two days before prom, he didn’t want to go, so the poor thing was scrambling, found a great date, and then the BF was mad because she was going to prom…well, gee, she bought all the tickets, got the dress, the hair, the all that…</p>
<p>If I could have I would have driven to his house and smacked him upside the head…what a jerk</p>
<p>^^^That’s an interesting scenario. My D was interested in no one at her school (yes she was asked by classmates) and preferred to go with a boy who will be home from college break. I guess she would have been out of luck at CGM’s school.</p>
<p>Last year my S’s senior class chose May 5th as their “senior skip day” .<br>
They thought this was a great idea because it was 05-05-05 for the class of 05. This is not a school approved thing but is pretty much a yearly ritual. It was AP exam week so most were doing very little in class anyway.<br>
So while he and friends were yodeling the night away at an Alan Jackson concert, we get a recorded message from the school saying any students who had missed school that day woud need a written excuse from their parent or they would not be allowed to attend the Prom which was 2 days later!<br>
S’s gf, a Jr. also got the call at her house ( a recorded message sent to every student) amd immediately gets on the cell ph. calling him at concert to say that she had a lot of time and $$ invested in this prom and she would NOT miss it because he and his friends had skipped school. </p>
<p>Needless to say, the school office was flooded with notes the next day saying that their poor seniors had been “sick” the previous day.</p>
<p>I’m in the girls who aren’t fond of proms category…don’t like dancing, dressing up can be a pain, and I didn’t have a date either year. I decided I wanted to go to my junior prom the night before (!) and didn’t have a dress but went out and found one on sale for $20, so that was pretty sweet. Senior year I went with some friends (after they had to do some heavy persuading to get me to come) but hanging out with them afterwards was more fun to me than the actual prom. The dancing part was pretty boring…if it hadn’t been free (the junior class does a lot of fundraising every year to raise money to put it on), I probably wouldn’t have bothered.</p>
<p>To me, it never seemed like the big deal that most girls want to make it (but then again, I guess they just like getting all dressed up and dancing all night).</p>
<p>I love all these posts about proms as I sit at my computer while my son and his AFS brother (exchange student from Argentina) are at the prom. Our Argentine couldn’t wait…my son, tired from 4 APs and SATiis was less than enthusiastic, but he was a good sport. And whoever said it was right, it is a girl thing!</p>
<p>cgm >>>> At my Ds school, only Jr and Srs are alllowed at prom,no underclassman, a few Sr with a Soph GF were mad, but sorry, don’t care, and those Jrs. going after Frosh girls, well, they had to ask girls there own age, and it worked out jsut fine <<<<</p>
<p>I think that is a great idea. Frankly, when I was in high school (in the early 70’s - yikes) the freshman girls that dated “older boys” often ended up “in trouble”. </p>
<p>My best friend’s school still does an unusual tradition for prom. Anyone who wants to go to prom puts their name in a box (one box for girls and one box for boys). Then on one day, the principal pulls out names (one at a time from each box) and that is your date (even if you have a gf or bf). If there is an unequal number of boys or girls, then cooperative recent alumni’s names are added to a box. Also, part of the tradition is that you don’t only dance with your date (but you can’t “abandon” your date for someone else) – you arrange to trade dances as a couple.</p>
<p>If you have any ideas please post…</p>
<p>Thanks!!!</p>
<p>At my school prom is open to juniors and seniors, but students are allowed to bring a younger date or one from another school. Very few people actually do bring younger dates, though; my school is (unfortunately) pretty grade-segregated and a lot of people dislike or look down upon the younger kids. The people who do bring younger dates tend to be in pretty serious relationships, or at least have been going out for a while prior to prom. Casual dates (going with a friend and similar arrangements) happen mostly within each grade.</p>
<p>Contradicting everything I just said, if I end up with a date, it’ll be a senior boy who isn’t a boyfriend but who might (?) become one soonish. Let’s just say I’m glad my prom isn’t until May 26th. :rolleyes:</p>