<p>At my kids’ HS, they have age limits about dates who can attend proms & other functions (balls & banquets as well). The rules are spelled out & they require ID when you buy the tickets. My kids haven’t been concerned one way or another, since S doesn’t seem interested & D only attended the Winter Ball & didn’t bring a date (went with group of girlfriends).</p>
<p>People are ridiculously obsessed with prom at my school(but I can imagine that this obsession level is only average compared to other schools… for that we all procrastinated in getting dates.) </p>
<p>From a Student Council member’s point of view, Prom is the only thing we focused on the whole year…</p>
<p>However…getting a date for Prom was a cinch, since I have some good friends who are girls(who, without them, I would have probably forgotten there was a Prom). </p>
<p>“To me, it never seemed like the big deal that most girls want to make it (but then again, I guess they just like getting all dressed up and dancing all night).”: That’s exactly how most of the girls in my school view prom…</p>
<p>Prom, thankfully, is a week after AP season. :). Who wants to be surrounded by a group of extroverted, overly cranky peers?</p>
<p>hehehe, i know some guys who refused to go to prom because they had to study for AP…</p>
<p>S have known since last year(when he didn’t go to his junior prom) that I will not be robbed of my Kodak moment again. 
He and two of his best friends invited some female friends to go as a group. Parents prepared and served dinner , there was no limo. The guys actually enjoyed dressing up and looked very handsome, girls looked lovely, moms got pictures, everybody had a good time. :-)</p>
<p>Why is it that guys who have agreed to go to the prom feel free to back out with less than a month to go? My D asked a young man back in Feb and all was set. In March things were still on. In April it became a maybe, but probably thing. Last Sat it turned to a no. That is a pretty unfair thing to do now that it is less than 3 weeks to prom and gown, shoes etc have all already been purchased.</p>
<p>My D went to all the school dances and formals starting frosh yr (including 2 Sr Balls) I got it all out of my system :). My frosh S has informed me he has no intention of ever attending a school dance, and rather than being sad all I can think about is all the $$ we will be saving!</p>
<p>I’m always perplexed when I hear about people asking each other to prom months in advance… maybe it just isn’t as big a deal at my school (a small DC private) as in other places, but I haven’t heard anyone even talk about dates yet, and our prom is in three weeks. People are beginning to discuss clothes, but no date drama (yet).</p>
<p>Ohh put me into “gals who dislike prom” category.</p>
<p>my mother absolutely freaked out when she found out i did not attend my jr prom. . . no Kodak moment for her. </p>
<p>I refuse to go this year nad she has somewhat unwillingly accepted my decision.</p>
<p>wow, my mom is like the total opposite. i mean, my older bro went to prom (he was the popular jock type, so he of course went to prom) but my older sister didn’t go. so it was really a toss up for me and my mom didn’t even go to prom. so she really didn’t care. as a matter of fact, i drive her insane with random prom drama. i think she is so tired of prom.</p>
<p>I don’t like dancing and prefer intimate settings to large groups… really, I’m just going to spend time with my friends (and potentially with the Boy) and to wear a nice dress because as much as I like jeans, I’m a bit old-fashioned… I love dressing formally, and there just aren’t that many occasions.</p>
<p>I’m glad my S chose to go on the senior weekend trip to another island & also to the band trip to Sydney. Compared to those EVENTS, going to a dance where there is loud music, paired with someone he isn’t particularly romantically interested in doesn’t seem all that important to him or us. We’re fine with letting him make choices that work for him.</p>
<p>Sweetdiva:</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your d. As a mother of boys, I would never allow my boys to even think of doing such a thing!!! (Actually, my boys know not to even “try” to something like that to a girl – I would kill them. I wonder what kind of parents this boy has!!! Don’t they have ANY manners???</p>
<p>Is there someone else she can ask??? Perhaps a graduate?</p>
<p>This happened to a friend also. Everyone was appalled at the boy’s very poor manners (likely his parents don’t even know). In the situation I know, the girl talked with her friends. One of them called her cousin (who was a handsome college freshman). The cousin was a gentlemen and gallantly offered to be the escort for the evening & flew down from college to escort the young lady to her senior prom. The two girls, cousin & date all had dinner together & all had a great time at the prom. To this day, they call the cousin, Galant Raymond for “coming to the rescue.”
Maybe a family friend or friend/neighbor/buddy of one of her friends can gallantly be the escort. How very disappointing for the girl!</p>
<p>Sweetdiva, the same thing happened to me for my senior prom, the friend I was supposed to go with ended up having to be in a dance recital, so I give him the excuse of extenuating circumstances. I was blessed with another good friend who went with me, and even danced, although he hated it. We had an absolutely fabulous time. I would recommend seeing if she has another friend that she can go with; it’s not too late, but I am sorry that the guy bailed on her.</p>
<p>My S’s school’s prom was this past Saturday. He got a lot of flack from his friends’ PARENTS for not going :rolleyes: . As if it’s any of their business.
One even talked to me about it: “Isn’t S going to the prom?”
“No”
“But it’s his senior year! He HAS to go.” ( 
)</p>
<p>I just explained that he doesn’t care about dances and doesn’t want to go. </p>
<p>He had asked me a few weeks prior if he should go (since everybody was telling him he HAD to). I told him to do what he wanted!!! If he wanted to go, then go. If he didn’t want to, then don’t. Should be as simple as that.
I added that I doubted he would look back in ten years and have huge regrets about not going. ;)</p>
<p>I went to 3 proms my senior year :eek: and they were all kind of stupid.</p>
<p>DrDrewmom - There’s no accounting for the meddling parent syndrome, is there? :rolleyes: Luckily, you’ve got the virtual community of us mothers of “I don’t do prom” sons to support you and yours. One year later, my S is showing no regrets that he forewent his two proms.</p>
<p>Me? I still would have liked my Kodak moment but I can’t say it keeps me awake nights.</p>
<p>DrDrewsmom: I encountered the exact same thing last year when my eldest didn’t go to the prom. (Also junior year too.) I think I even posted something on here about it! I couldn’t believe how many of friend were <strong>interested</strong> in the fact that he wasn’t going.</p>
<p>I think we should make up t-shirts: “Proms are for girls.” ;)</p>
<p>LOL. Well, to clarify, I wasn’t really mad about the parents. The one mother who asked me probably had a wonderful time at her own prom and couldn’t understand why someone would NOT want to go, you know? Whatever. It’s there for people who want to go. Not a requirement. </p>
<p>BTW, my older stepson was definitely into proms and dances and all that. Of course he also spent more time in the mornings getting ready for school and fixing his hair and looking in the mirror :rolleyes: . The kid took longer to get ready than I do.</p>
<p>“Dumping a prom date” is a two way street. Among S’s circle of friends I can count a number of instances when GIRLS were asked to the prom, agreed, and then canceled about a week before the dance, preferring some other guy(!!!) or just a group of girl friends. S asked a friend well in advance. Then a relashionship began to blossom with a girl already going with a different guy( a friend, no romance) . There was some discussion of “switching dates” , but in the end everybody agreed that it would be not a nice thing to do. As a result there was a large group of kids, “paired up” and not, they all went together and had a good time.</p>
<p>If you’re in a serious and/or committed relationship OR have a good friend or group to attend with, proms can be nice/fun. If you don’t enjoy such events, there is really no reason you should feel compelled to attend. My kids so far have not shown great interest in such events–hubby & I aren’t all that fond of similar “adult” functions, so we sympathize. Others LOVE getting decked out & “being seen” & “seeing who shows,” several of my sibs among those others.</p>
<p>I attended more than my share of proms & banquets. They were OK (some see it as Kodak moments or some sort of “trophy” to see how many you can attend), but honestly I enjoyed playing cards, camping, hiking & trips far more than any proms or banquets. We’re all different.</p>