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so true, so true…</p>
<p>Cancelling after promising to attend an event by either gender is reprehensible. It really makes you wonder about the kids that are doing such things & whether they think about how it makes the other person feel. Quite sad that folks so blitely ignore how their actions affect others.</p>
<p>oh HImom, I completely agree, but on the flipside, a person doesn’t necessarily want to go to prom with someone out of obligation and then have a bad time…</p>
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<p>This is terrible, too. I find it hard to believe that these girls’ parents did not know that their daughters’ first had accepted to go with someone else and then later decided to go with someone else (since girls are more likely to immediately tell their families when they have been asked – and, therefore, need a dress, etc). </p>
<p>If there are parents out there in CC Land who have knowingly let their kids cancel their dates to prom in order to go with someone else (someone “better”) … shame on you!!! (and the same goes for parents who knowingly let their kids cancel and not go at all for some lame reason.)</p>
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<p>The “obligation” only exists if the person has agreed to go in the first place. A person can say “no” if they are asked because they think that they will have a bad time with that particular person. </p>
<p>However, if the person just doesn’t want to go with his girlfriend because he “doesn’t like dances” then he needs to just “suck it up” because being a “grown up” means sometimes doing (moral, ethical) things that may not be your choice – but you do it anyway because it will please your significant other. That is what mature people do. Immature people only do what “they want to do.”</p>
<p>When you make a commitment to another person, you have an obligation to follow it through & it is up to the individual to be good company, no decide, “I’m going to be bored/have a junk time” or whatever to justify bailing on someone who cared enough to invite you.</p>
<p>I can’t buy any excuse other than a serious medical (or similarly important)reason for bailing on an important social event. It is so wrong & gives the wrong message to the person bailing & the person being bailed on. If parents have any clue this is going on, they should take appropriate action–I know I would be very concerned.</p>
<p>okay, i see where both of you are coming from. but this sorta thing just happened to me but in reverse (i was the hated “other girl”). my date (he is actually my boyfriend now) agreed to go with this girl to prom months in advance (prom is such a big deal that dates are usually secured right after homecoming). but then, something sorta materialized between us, so he just told the girl he didn’t want to go with her anymore (i think his excuse was that her dress was too ugly or something) and then he asked me. now, i realize that his excuse was incredibly bad and mean, but what he told me was that he couldn’t imagine having fun at prom if i wasn’t his date…</p>
<p>and, he told the girl “no” at least 2 months in advance, so she had a lot of time to get a different date (which she promptly did)…</p>
<p>hotpiece:</p>
<p>This is how the situation was handled in “my day.”</p>
<p>When I was a junior in high school, a guy asked me to the prom. I said, “yes.” Sometime later, I started dating another guy. He asked me to the prom and I said “no” because I had already committed to the first guy. The first guy (realizing that I now had a boyfriend) asked me if I still wanted to go with him. I told him “yes, unless you would rather not go with me.” We went to the prom together and I made sure that we both had a great time! I still know that I made the right decision. Sure, I may have had a “better” time with my boyfriend, but I can have a good time with lots of people (and so could your “new” boyfriend).</p>
<p>I liked things the way they were in “the old days.” When you made a promise, it was something that could be counted on instead of, “I’ll go with you if nothing else better comes up.” I feel sorry for folks who don’t have the strength of character to follow through with their commitments. It IS only one night and if you didn’t like the 1st person enough to enjoy an evening with him/her, you should never have accepted in the 1st place. It’s not a “bidding war” about what your ideal date/prom experience would be, it’s time to think beyond yourself.</p>
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<p>Yes! That is why I can’t imagine why some think that they can’t put themselves out to do the “right thing” (such as following thru with a commitment OR taking your girlfriend even if “prom isn’t your bag.”) </p>
<p>But why should we be surprised that so many teens are this way – so many spouses won’t put themselves out for an evening even if the event is important to the other spouse.</p>
<p>"It IS only one night and if you didn’t like the 1st person enough to enjoy an evening with him/her, you should never have accepted in the 1st place. "</p>
<p>I agree completely. And this was exactly the way S and (now his) girl decided to deal with the situation. Everybody was pretty quiet with the results.</p>
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<p>HI Mom: </p>
<p>I read your comment yesterday and chuckled. I read it today and I’m still chuckling. Your comment about prom not being a “bidding war” is so “right on”. </p>
<p>I’m starting to wonder if some/many parents have not taken the time to teach their kids how to “treat” people and how mean actions can devastate people for MANY years! Don’t parents “talk” to their kids anymore? </p>
<p>OR …are kids witnessing their own parents cancelling commitments at the last minute and therefore, LEARN that it is “ok” behavior to do??? If so, Parents need to keep in mind… the kids are always watching…</p>
<p>Maybe I need to start a thread asking CC parents if they allow their kids to cancel commitments for “lame” reasons… I think I will…</p>
<p>as a high school girl it was very interesting to read some of these posts. my high school prom is for jrs and srs but they are able to ask younger dates. i was one of those ‘younger girls’ (a sophomore) who was asked by a senior to prom. he was my ex-boyfriend and we were still friends. unfortunately, after i said yes, a senior girl started a mean rumor about me because she had wanted to go with my ex-bf. I just tried to ignore it but it was hurtful-- i understand it sucks to not have a date your senior year but it just happened to be that i was a lot closer with him than she was. </p>
<p>as a jr. i asked a guy from another school… prom ended up being really great, but the next day he asked me out and i had to say no because i only thought of him as a friend… i guess we had different ideas of why i asked him–i just thought of him as a friend. </p>
<p>sr year i am going with a guy who is COMPLETELY a friend… he’s dorky but really funny and there was no way i could say no when he asked me because i knew how much fun i would have–no pressure at all. however, most of my friends do not have dates and are all going by themselves in an all girl limo (i am not joining their limo because it would be awkward for my date… i am giong with his friends and their dates). so yea i really wish the guys in my grade would have asked my friends so i could be riding in the limo with them and i understand why that senior girl was upset when i was asked as a sophomore… however i am not going to make up any silly mean rumors! haha</p>
<p>so to the sons that don’t want to go-- yea its a bit overrated but you’ll make some girls night if you ask her-- and then u have a limo ride to the afterparty which is ten times more fun! 
prom does not have to be about dates–when you go with a friend its so much more fun.</p>
<p>My D says, and please no one take offence, becuase none is intended, is that if she would love to go to Prom with one of her gay friends- he can dance, great dresser, really funny, and no pressure…and he looks great in pictures…in fact, many girls wanted to go with him…</p>
<p>I know folks who live by the “I’ll go with you to XXXX, but if something better comes up, I’ll ditch you.” I try never to make any firm plans with folks like those because I take any commitments I make to others seriously & really find it disrespectful of MY time & energy to be ditched at the last minute–it FEELS like you’re “chopped liver” & the last choice if there is NOTHING else to do. (Only interact with them when they’re family & can’t really totally “divorce” self from them.)</p>
<p>for me, our senior prom was RIDICULOUSLLY early “April 28” and I just didn’t have time to find a girl I TRULY liked to go with so I was like, “eh… oh well”. I heard the food was terrible anyways and it was way tooo hot in the building.</p>
<p>For my son, it would have been nice if bids were on sale for a longer time closer to the prom. Oh well, he is OK with not going. Food at many of these events are only memorably bad, unfortunately. Anyway, with many nervous, not too many really notice the food overly much.</p>
<p>I’m a guy who’s not going to his Senior Prom this year, and my male and female friends are giving me hell (in a friendly way) for not going. I won’t be going because I will be at the Quiz Bowl Nationals/College Jeopardy tryout, admittedly a very nerdy reason for not going. Still, I was kind of surprised for a school like mine that is very lax about proms and dances that people would get so riled up about the prom. Not surprisingly, when people hear “Jeopardy!” they tell me to get my ass to the tryout so they can (if i get lucky) watch on TV .</p>
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<p>unfortunately, true. How can kids learn good manners if their parents have never learned?</p>
<p>My kid: “Prom is for noobs.”<br>
At 17 he’s more interested in computers than girls. I think that is part of it–girls at this age are just more mature than the guys. S spent prom night working at his fast food job. Monday morning everyone was talking about how drunk they were at prom. Bleh.</p>