<p>Hi all you the wise and experienced out there :),</p>
<p>I need some beginners’ lessons for new empty nesters. It happened a bit earlier than we planned (:bittersweet: ), when we are younger than we expected we’d be. We live in the suburbs with distictive four seasons, and there seems so much that can be done in the leisure time after work yet it’s so hard to find where to start with… So here are my newbie questions: where do you find information about what’s going on around you or in areas close by? What do you do on a Friday night, or for a long weekend? What hobbies have you developed? How did you pick them up? Did you and/or how did you expand the circle of friends? What kind of actitivies in the city are suitable for middle aged couples (don’t laugh!) What’s your favorite travel destinations, restaurants, bars, etc. (just tell me what kind if they are not chain stores)…</p>
<p>When my first left for college, I called the parents of some of his friends and hosted a Semi-Empty Nest party - just wine and desserts. 5 couples got together and had such a good time we repeated it every couple of months.</p>
<p>Now that I have a fully empty nest, I’m taking an HTML class. Check your local school deptartment for Continuing Ed or Lifelong Learning and see what they offer. </p>
<p>We’ve also contacted another newly empty nest couple and went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant.</p>
<p>H and I picked up new friends with our new interests. I paint, took classes at ACCD here in Pasadena and H joined the Red Cross and Meals on Wheels. You tend to find other empty nesters doing these pursuits. We both polished our language skills at Alliance Francaise and the Instituto Italiano. We already have friends who are active socially (“in the know” when it comes to local concerts, restaurants etc.) and we tend to throw dinner parties with other parents in the “same boat”. We did not really pick up any new hobbies, we just enhanced what we were already interested in.</p>
<p>We were very lucky. Our friends had kiddos who were about the age of our kids. We all became empty nesters about the same time. We found we had lots more time to enjoy our friends without worrying that we had to check the calendar for games, concerts, or worrying WE weren’t going to have a car to use (because one of our kids needed to use it). </p>
<p>This meant we could host dinners, go out to plays or movies or concerts, become more extensively involved with community activities (civic theater, town committees), become more involved on the committees of our summer beach club. In addition, we had more time to just RELAX…something we didn’t get to do much of when our kids were still at home (how many of you really went to bed at a reasonable hour when your kids were out?).</p>
<p>We are also in the process of doing some home improvements (our kids are now OUT of college…woohooo). And we have both helped friends do this at their homes…a nice helpful thing and social as well.</p>
<p>I started taking yoga and my husband increased bicycle riding activities. </p>
<p>We also have more time to help our aging parents.</p>
<p>And we took our first vacation without kids…which was really fun…we’ll do that again this year.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong, we miss our kids…but we don’t miss the “stuff” that they were doing (and we attended).</p>
<p>Consider learning to play bridge. Lessons are available almost everywhere and, depending on your area of the country, you can play in organized games almost every day or evening. Many of the players start upon becoming empty nesters (or retirement) so you’ll meet people your age (and older, so you’ll feel like a youngster). Great for the brain and for social interaction. Only word of caution…some married folks aren’t meant to play together; others get closer with the game in common. Whatever you wind up doing, enjoy!</p>
<p>Our first go-round with the empty nest, we traveled a LOT. Went to football games we had to fly to … including a Notre Dame home game (we knew no one currently at Notre Dame or their opponent) and the Superbowl. We also discovered the local Wine Trail and visited wineries all over our state. </p>
<p>Then our S2 came home from his (high school) year abroad and we were nestbound once again. Fast forward to 2010 – our college graduate is temporarily living at home while job hunting and our new freshman is away. The difference is that S1 is a <em>great</em> cook and pretty independent. </p>
<p>We haven’t started exploring the new empty nest too much yet …</p>
<p>We adopted a new dog when my last left the nest. That alone changed my life in many ways. I now walk, with doggie, 3-5 miles a day which has been great for my physical and mental health. As a bonus, I’ve run into other people with dogs, and made a few really nice friendships because of it. One neighbor, whom I never knew in the 16 years we’ve lived here, has become a very close friend. We often walk our dogs together and she has introduced me to dog activities (agility training, volunteering at dog shows) that I never would have explored on my own. </p>
<pre><code>We have also made a few improvements in our home now that tuition bills are behind us, which has inspired more entertaining, which then has lead to closer friendships with old and new friends. I threw a big birthday party for my husband last year, which I never thought I had the energy for when the kids were home.
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<p>I get up early every morning, putter outside with my cup of coffee watering the plants while planning my day. While I miss my kids, I really enjoy having an hour or two to waste in the morning. And, wow, does the house ever stay cleaner!</p>
<p>I’ll be going to my first book club group tomorrow. I’m also taking a cooking class next month with a new friend. It’s just so much easier to schedule things for myself, now that I only have to worry about my (and DH’s) calendar.</p>