brandeis essay

<p>Anyone feel like reading? I've already sent it in, would just like to hear some feedback from the public</p>

<p>sure, ill read it</p>

<p>I'll read it</p>

<p>me too PM me?</p>

<p>Yup...just..PM it to me.</p>

<p>What is a PM and how does one PM?</p>

<p>click on the name then look to the right you will see send private message to xxx</p>

<p>i wouldn't mind giving feedback</p>

<p>My rejection from Brandeis University last spring was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was not fun, nor was it something that I brag about to others. It was, however, the catalyst for a personal paradigm shift. It made me face my own weaknesses, and forced me to question how to get where I wanted to be in life. In my junior and senior years of high school, I was by no stretch of the imagination a good student. I was smart and capable, but school felt more like an arduous chore than an invaluable pathway to better job opportunities and incredible learning experiences. College seemed like an escape from nagging parents and the freedom to pursue the irresponsible pastimes that my friends and I had worked so hard to perfect. However, in the past months I have changed mindsets to such a degree that my oldest friends act with disbelief when I describe to them my life in college.<br>
I now see college as an opportunity to separate myself from self-destruction, my chance to obtain my goals, and I feel blessed to have received the chance to earn an education. Here at URI, I do not spend my days steeped in regret and anguish, but I certainly feel out of place. I spend at least three hours in the library a day during the week and four on the weekends. On Sunday mornings, I habitually break my roommates’ tradition of gorging on Buffalo wings and watching football to toil in the library, despite accusations of insanity and my own love of the spicy morsels. My motivation feels like fire in my stomach, my head is hungry for work, for challenges, for new and beautiful ideas that will expand my knowledge and perspective. A good work session means that my head can no longer hold more information. I study with the appetite of a college student eating Thanksgiving at home, not content until he is sufficiently gorged. Yet after a half hour or so, in my dorm, watching “Rock of Love” on VH1 with friends, my books are open again and I am reviewing Chinese characters. After tutoring a friend for a sociology test on which she attained her first A in the class, she gave me a batch of freshly baked cookies. Explaining the gift to my roommates, it became apparent that dissuading them of my weirdness would probably never occur. I am officially the Library Freak, something which I take an uneasy pride in, as this title reminds me of my general feeling towards URI.
There are specific elements that I do not care for at this school. Conversation over dinner that veers toward vicious gossip and partying, an overzealous fraternity and sorority based social life, the lack of a cohesive campus feel, and the difficulty of meeting professors outside of class all contribute to my discomfort. While far from anti social, I see faint hope that I will find a niche here, especially when many of the few people whom I have genuinely connected with are also transferring. Each weekend, I play poker in the dorm basement, watch a movie, go to the mall, or end up studying late into the night while the majority of my friends are drinking or looking for alcohol. While playing cards with intoxicated peers certainly has its advantages, I would prefer to spend my Saturday nights exploring Boston or watching an influential speaker. I have been questioning whether my observations about my current university are but sweeping generalizations, but there has yet to be a week that disproves my feelings about the atmosphere here.<br>
Even amongst the Student Senate, there is little evidence of a culture fostering intellectual development; my experiences within the governing body further confirm a fraternity group mindset that permeates this school. At the first meeting, I was the only freshmen, let alone the only senator, to voice dissent for a popular bill, and later expressed my views in the student paper. I highlighted some student behavior at a town hall meeting that myself, fellow students, and many professors felt had hurt the cause, and received a shocking degree of hostility from the senate. The vice president made it a point to call me a liar during a meeting, and I frequently overheard discussions during office hours framing my position and persona with unmentionable vocabulary. My roommates once more asserted my insanity and recommended that I fall in line with the Senate leadership. At the next meeting, I participated in a debate for two hours and funding was approved by one vote for the National Society of Black Engineers, much to the chagrin of the aforementioned Senate leadership. The policy which I had criticized is now failing for the flaws which I had earlier predicted.<br>
Walking around Brandeis University on my second tour last November, I saw posters on nearly every dorm room door supporting social action and justice, embodying sincere care for the world. It was inspiring to be reminded that there are students who are passionate about the same issues that I am. Brandeis University’s academic and social environments encompass everything I wish to gain from my college experience: interactions with the best and brightest in academia, a respectful atmosphere that encourages individuality, friends who encourage activism instead of conformity, and the opportunity to take full advantage of the prospects that higher education provides.
Each day that passes I feel myself craving more, working more, learning more, and I assure you, this is not a fleeting phase. I recently began studying for the LSATs, bringing about further odd looks from my roommates, raised eyebrows from friends back home, and satisfaction from myself that three years from now I will take that epic test with one hundred percent confidence in myself. The motivation that I feel today is not something that I will allow to be extinguished. Yet my past decisions and priorities have created a present that is undesirable to my current self. I have, however, laid these decisions and priorities to rest. I want to work long hours in the library. I want to sit with professors and discuss social theories, economics, politics, and math. I want the opportunity to work with the people who shape our world daily, to gain a cosmopolitan understanding of global society that will help to prepare me for a career in international law. Lastly, I want, more than anything in the world, to do this at Brandeis University.</p>

<p>go easy on me was too long to PM, so i said, what the hell, check it out world!</p>

<p>"It was, however, the catalyst for a personal paradigm shift. "</p>

<p>Do you talk like that in everday conversations? It seems you are like...trying to hard to look smart or something. Just my 2 cents.</p>

<p>I thought it was a very good essay!</p>

<p>Unfortunately, that's how I write. That sentence came out without much thought at all. Also, I am smart. Very smart. If an admissions counselor thinks I was trying too hard to sound smart with this essay then I'd feel fantastic about being rejected.</p>

<p>I wouldn't worry too much about that, they will not think you are trying to sound smart. It didn't come off as just one big word in a poorly written essay. The essay was well written and I didn't think the wording stuck out as anything that could come close to looking bad.</p>

<p>thanks for the input guys, and BUMP</p>

<p>my only negative comment would be to say that i dont think its a good idea to list off things you dont like about your school. i spoke to admissions counselors and they all said they hate when people talk badly about their schools. instead its better to say what you want in the future, and what you dont like is implied.</p>

<p>i was about to mention what the person above said as well. i dont think you should bash your current school too much. the part about "social action and justice" fits in with the student senate piece, but the first several sentences make the paragraph seem too long and dont really pertain to anything important. also, i'd like to note that you sound more cocky than "smart" but that's just my opinion =P</p>

<p>^ I'm not saying you aren't smart, at all. I'm simply saying I read somewhere that in college essays you should switch out a couple of the more uncommon words (a couple..not all) for more common words. It's a good essay though.</p>

<p>i really liked your essay ...</p>

<p>but i will disagree with your last statement. You cannot assimilate cosmpolitan understanding unless you visit and live in those countries.</p>