<p>My day began with a local headline story that hit many of my Parent buttons. I could never understand why there are so many “bar fights.” Recently we have people stalking outside of gay bars waiting to attack.</p>
<p>I call it to Parents Cafe attention because the narrative – about two girls leaving a gay bar being attacked by haters – might inform either parents or their kids.</p>
<p>The story describes angry confrontations, a role played by the girlfriend, helpful male witnesses and other aspects. </p>
<p>I read many of the Buffalo News comments attached to the story, including one from a bar patron who claims to know the reported victims and says there’s more to this. For example, the local police apparently have not designated this as a hate crime but as a fight/assault. One bar customer is upset that the victim is “using the gay community.”</p>
<p>I will never understand why some people hate gays so much as to attack them. Why would anyone become infuriated with another person’s sexual orientation is beyond me. </p>
<p>This is part of the reason why I am a staunch and visible gay ally. I want the haters to know that they are not representing the perspectives of all straight people.</p>
<p>I’m no psychologist, but I’ve sort of wondered whether people who assault gays, especially men who attack gay men, are harboring a little confusion in the back of their minds about their own sexual identities and are violently over-reacting in an effort to prove to themselves that they really do not have any of that same-sex attraction that keeps nagging at them. Guys who are secure in their sexual identities have no need to prove anything and can go about the world peaceably.</p>
I agree. I get very angry at gay bashing – both physical and verbal. Fight with a jerk for being a jerk, but leave people alone for who they are and here’s the thing: someone else’s orientation is generally none of anyone else’s business.</p>
<p>^Very well said. I also could never understand the intense rage that some people, particularly males, have toward homosexuals, and assumed that it could very well be related to an insecurity about their own sexuality.</p>
<p>I tiptoe around this lightly but a question I’ve always wanted to ask is why males are more prone to be funky in this way. I was talking with a friend yesterday over a magazine and both agreed over a picture of Ellen DeGeneres that she is gorgeous, sexy and deserves to be a cover girl. A male co-worker asked if we were straight and was befuddled that we are. He said that straight men don’t do that.</p>
<p>paying3, I read and heard about this story. Living in Toronto, we get a lot of Buffalo news, as you know, and all of their tv stations. It’s a very disturbing story for many reasons, not the least of which were the comments posted which have now been removed. If anyone had read those comments and still cannot understand why hate crime laws should be enacted, then I don’t have any answer for them, or much hope. I hope that the young woman recovers from her injuries and I hope that the assailant is caught and brought to trial.</p>
<p>alwaysamom, I have been a staunch activist for gay rights for decades, and I do not agree with “hate crimes” legislation. In my view, assault is assault, and should be vigorously prosecuted as such. Labelling “hate crimes” smacks of the thought police to me. </p>
<p>Generally, hate crimes legislation was established because law enforcement failed to do its job when certain people were attacked. The answer, IMHO, is to observe the laws regarding assault and vandalism and so forth equally for everyone. Not to establish the thought police.</p>
<p>This is the first time I’ve heard of females perpetrating gay bashing and for it to happen twice in one day is bizarre. </p>
<p>I think many straight men are mildly disgusted by gay men and my theory is that it’s because men tend to think in terms of sex. So, they automatically go THERE, rather than all the other indefinables that make up a person’s sexuality. It seems more common to see straight women being friends with gay women (and gay men). Of course, there’s a world of difference between being squeamish about gay sex and gay bashing. I don’t know… it’s hard to understand hating a stranger so much for such an abstract reason. It’s hard to understand having that much rage that needs a target.</p>
<p>Over the holidays my son and I were discussing the paradox of tolerance, that if you tolerate everyone, then you must tolerate the intolerant, which violates the the principle of tolerance itself. I ended up concluding that, if I ruled the world, I would be merciful to everyone except those who commit hate crimes, i.e., violence against others for no other reason than that they are different. I would have those people exterminated. You know, if there were no repercussions. And yes, I understand that every tyrant believes his actions, however heinous, are justified, so yes, I’m glad I don’t rule the world. But gay-bashing is one of those things that would earn you a death sentence in my world.</p>
<p>That said, the article says that the woman was not attacked per se, but was stabbed while fighting after the slurs were uttered. This is still terrible, of course, but not entirely the same as being physically attacked with no provocation whatsoever. Like so many incidents, it appears differently once you read beyond the headline, or once the whole story comes out.</p>
<p>This is disgusting. LakeWashington, if you actually believe the bigoted, fabricated filth that anonymous people spew in the comments sections EVERY SINGLE TIME there’s an LGBT-related article in the news – particularly when someone’s the victim of a hate crime, and always with the theme of “they deserved it” or “they asked for it” – you are out of your mind and should be ashamed of yourself.</p>
<p>Mantori, I don’t know where you get that from, because that is not remotely what the article says:</p>
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<p>It does not say she was fighting when she was attacked – from behind. Nor does it say that any of her friends were fighting instead of arguing. Quite the contrary.</p>
<p>Thanks for the insult Donna, but in the future please restrain yourself. And please carefully re-read my observations. I don’t see where I or anyone else advocated or gave sympathy for a verbal assault on the woman whom was beaten and whom may lose an eye.</p>
<p>DonnaL, you’re right, I misread the article the first time. I must have been skimming toward the end and misunderstood how the fight started. Thanks for the correction.</p>