I’m going to be hosting one in the fall. It has been years since I even attended one.
Share all your ideas and tips.
Can you give some background info? Budget? # of people to be invited? Venue planned? (someone’s house, a hall, a church, etc.)
I went to one just two weeks ago. It was the first one I had attended in maybe 15 or so years. It was quite lovely and the hostess spared no expense.
It was in a private home (of the bride’s aunt) and was catered. First we mingled for an hour and a half or so, while the caterers served champagne cocktails and some nonalcoholic beverages, as well as passed hors d’oeuvres. Then, with the caterers’ help, we served ourselves from the luncheon buffet. Then, the bride opened presents in the large family room while her sister/maid of honor and a cousin wrote down who gave what and made the “bouquet” out of ribbons from the gifts. And finally we had a cake and toasted the bride.
There were about 35 people there.
I haven’t been to many bridal showers–my friends don’t seem to have them–but I think that having it at someone’s house is much more pleasant and relaxed than at a restaurant. And although the one VH just went to sounds very lovely, it doesn’t have to be catered and doesn’t have to be expensive to be gracious and have a pleasant atmosphere.
mom80, is your shower going to be all-female, or coed?
Yes, the first thing to figure out is whether all femalefemale or coed and who will be on the guest list. Havebheen to quite a few shshowers over the years. Most were female only, but a few coed. Most were in restaurants and can be as simple or elaborate as desired, and as the budget allows. At many of the showers, everyone paid for their own meal and the hostess paid for the bride and her mom’s meal, but the other showers were all paid for by the hostess, so that point should be cleared up at the start.
As was said, they can be as simple or fancy as desired and are a nice time for the bride to be. They can be themed (kitchen, bathroom, miscellaneous) or unthemed. There can be games and prizes or not. The bride always opens the gifts at the wedding.
In HI showers, they also save the wrapping paper and after the bride has opened all the gifts, dress the bride in a gown fashioned with the wrapping paper and a bouquet of the ribbons attached to a paper plate for fun. (The bouquet cones in handy for the rehearsal for the wedding ceremony as well.) Favors for shower guests are optional and can be candy, a flower, small potted plant, etc. Centerpiece is also optional.
Love that tradition, HIMom!
I’ve been to a few “themed” ones, too. At the small kitchen-themed shower, guests brought kitchen utensils (spatulas, spoons, etc.) wrapped as flower bouquets (that’s what the shower organizer asked us). It was also a potluck, and we shared recipe cards.
Not sure about the gift wrap/ribbon thing. D is getting married in the fall and she would be mortified. Sticking to mingling, eating and opening gifts is much more relaxed.
Forgot to mention: We were all assigned a time of day for our gift. The times were quite generous – mine was noon to 6:00 PM – so I could have bought anything lunch-related, tea-related, or cocktail-related.
Went to one similar to VH last year. Held at private home.Luncheon. Not catered per se but close friends had made and brought/ bought the food (most guests did not bring anything nor were asked to). Drinks were sangria and fruit punch (serve yourself from big dispensers). Followed the same agenda as VH’s experience but I think we played a game too.
Between 35-50 people.
The bride and groom were working on their new home and asked for gift cards from HD and Lowes. Made it easy but of course there were personal gifts given also.
Not a co-ed affair but could easily have been.
I’ve been to a few recently for nieces/cousins. Ours are casual and women/girls only. Kids are usually included, so no “R/X-rated” gifts. A few games played at the last one: trivia quiz–Using topics that the bride/groom are obsessed with, and seeing how many questions the guests can get right. This quiz had two sides–bride’s side and groom’s side. Groom’s topic was The Boston Red Sox (Why? I don’t know. He’s from Michigan. . .) and the Bride’s was the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast (her fav.) Some questions were easy (that kids could get) and others funny or very trivial info. that few would know.
There was a guessing game: how many chocolate kisses in a jar (it was the number of days until the wedding. . .)
Another shower had teams designing a tissue paper bridal gown (pack of white paper, tape, scissors and strict time limit–like 10-15minutes?) with one team member as the model/bride. This shower was at a home, so teams could go in separate rooms. (My daughters enjoyed this so much–they’ve used this game at their birthday parties–except with colored tissue paper/not bridal theme). Another recent shower game: little ziplock bags all filled with white/off white powdery stuff you’d find in your kitchen. (Could be flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, cleanser, powdered sugar, etc.) Bags were numbered and players had to identify each item without smelling/tasting/opening. There were more than a dozen of these and it was pretty tricky!
Memory game with 20 items on a tray (random stuff you’d find in kitchen drawers). Each person gets a few seconds and is told to “look closely” as the bride brings the tray around. The bride takes the tray away, and players have to list as many items as they can. Then there are a few trick questions like–What kind of earrings is the bride wearing, what color are the bride’s shoes, what is the bride’s middle name, etc.
The last shower I attended was at a community center located in an old school building where anyone can reserve rooms for free. Potluck lunch–fun, casual, low budget.
We also have the tradition of saving bows for the bride’s rehearsal bouquet. And they say the number of ribbons the bride breaks when opening gifts is the number of children she will have. (This bride was very careful not to break any ribbons, which kinda took the fun out of it.)
Another use for the ribbons/bows in addition to making a bouquet is to make a hat out of it. And of course then the bride to be models the hat and we all take pix!
The most fun I’ve had at a shower was a co-ed, outdoor barbecue, basically just a nicer, larger version of a Friday night get-together. It was mainly just the bride’s side of the family as most of the groom’s family lived at least a few hours away; but it also included friends (“his,” “her,” and “their” friends, male and female). They grilled, served beer and wine, and everyone watched the bride AND groom open the gifts. It is less traditional and perhaps too casual for some tastes; but it seemed like the older aunts and uncles had as good a time as the younger guests. No kids invited.
FallGIrl–the ribbon hat/bouquet is VERY traditional. As the gifts are opened the bridesmaids write down the gift/who it was from so that thank you cards can be sent. The bows are strung onto a paper plate by the bridesmaids (not the bride) as gift opening continues. And voila! at the end a beautiful ribbon bouquet appears which can be used for rehearsal. A bit of tribute to all who loved you enough to give gifts.
Not sure where you’re from but regionally if you did NOT do this people would be telling you to automatically.
And if it still hurts your sensibilities as to decorum–it beats the heck out of trashing the gift wrap and just “wracking” up gifts (not that you’d ever do that!). I suspect it became tradition because it put a bit more focus on the giver than the receiver. And more likely because it’s fun!
My tip: PLEASE take into account the personality of the bride. As someone (FallGirl I think!) noted above, some would be all over getting decorated with paper and ribbons, some would be mortified! Same with games. Consider your brides and your guests. Ok not to have games as long as you have plenty of other nice things going on and can fill the time with conversation, food, gifts, and whatever else.
While I as a guest might not want to be in and out in a half hour, I certainly would have NO objections to a bridal shower that didn’t go on for hours!!!
Thanks for all the sharing. I’m taking notes. I want some ideas when I get together in a few weeks with the co-hostess.
The venue is my house.- bride thinks 30-40 people ranging in age from 20-80 all female. No budget limitation within reason.
I admit that I’m not a very “girly girl” but I prefer as few bridal shower games as possible (goes for baby showers too). I want to visit, eat some nice food and definitely CAKE, and watch the bride open the gifts. That being said, my parents’ church friends gave us a couples shower many moons ago and when the hostess brought out the games, she had all the MEN do them while the women watched! It was hysterical to see their competitive natures come out, as they were trying to unscramble “refrigerator” or figure out how many words could be made from “honeymoon.”
I have co-hosted quite a few but only one (for my niece) was I the head planner. That one was at a country club but even for ones at a host’s home we have them catered. It’s just much easier, imo. Drinks of choice are usually Mimosas and Bloody Marys. At one shower we were all given tiny boxes of butterflies and we went out into the court yard of the club and released them (after the MOB & MOG spoke.) That same shower the MOB & MOG also had a slide show of the couple from the beginning of their relationship (they met in 10th grade so there were a lot of pictures of them together.) That was also the shower we had to tell the hostesses from the groom’s side that pole dancers were not an acceptable form of entertainment.
Yes to the bows and ribbons attached to paper plates – if you have enough then the bride and the bridesmaids can all carry them at the rehearsal. This assumes a lot of bows and not that many bridesmaids. I have never seen the dress or hat made out of paper or ribbons. I love showers. Cake is crucial.
I could not agree more!
Some of the games @atomom describes sound like fun, such as identifying the white substances in a baggie. (Flour and sugar was NOT what I first thought of! 8-| )
@cgpm59, that sounds like a hoot!
Friends gave a coed baby shower for me, and the one game I can remember was amusing. Everyone was supposed to bring a baby/toddler picture of themselves, and then we all tried to figure out who was who. Some strange pictures. 
No themes. The girls who planned my bridal shower used an alphabet theme. Each person was giving a letter and they were to buy a gift that began with that letter. I received lots of junk that I never used. All the practical items that are normally given at a shower I had to go out and buy for myself. Complete waste.